The Kansas News and People's Advocate du lieu suivant : Topeka, Kansas • 6

no VOTE NO II VOICE. THE QUODDY ISLANDS. WIT AND HUMOR. MR. POKTKIl'R LITTLE LIST.

i Washington Ruled and Taxed Without JfOT SECESSAfY FOR THEIR FI8I1- Any peri'in wholakesiho paper regularly from th poutofflce, wbethfir directed to his n.imeor wliei.lier be Is a subscriber or not. Is responsible for the pay. The courts have decided ihat refusing to newspapers arttt periodicals from the po.itolllce, or removing and leaving them uncalled lor, la prima facie evidence of intkntiohai. fuavd. What is your age? Where do you live? What, do vou drink for tea? Who is your mother? Who is your brother? EJIMEX TO LIE.

the Consent of Ihu Governed. Special Washington Letter.l This city is a good deal misunderstood. A vague notion prevails in the coun Whcu uo you go to sear CrofTut Goes Co Campobello The Which do you favor the Players orLeaguo? try at large that tho 200,000 people of this capital city have a very nice and How will you vote next year What do vou take tor a JumplOg toottiacuer easy tinio of It, What do you pay for beer Nearly seven million pounds of dates wore imported last year. What prodigies we would be if our memory for dates were as good as our appetite for 'em. The New York Tribune only recently emarked," Washington is a beggar, sup How do you live on a thousand a year "Points" of the Winthrop Sea Mule-Cool Ivn in August No Good Hotel.

Boston Folks Who Don't Know How to Enjoy Themselves In It Heans That Duel It? A Mad Lawyer-Go in Crowd or Not at All. Our New Brunswick Letter. This Passamaquoddy Bay is a vast and What do you think or our mayor How old will you ho in the year WJV ported by the bounty of the nation. And the Sun spoke of our having "no Ho you wear your own natural uvuri taxes to pay. How many teeth have you got in your head? When do you pure your uails? What's your chest-measure when boxing for How such dense ignorance can prevail in metropolitan editorial rooms passes pleasure Do you attend bargain sales? my comprehension.

Let me outline the A BUTCHEit in San Francisco has been arrested for selling shark's meat under another name. He is hardly as had, however, as the meat sharks who are grinding the people with a big trust. splendid archipelago, bigger and finer than the archipelago of Greece, among whose tempting islands Ulysses got lost. If one had a steamboat at his call he could, I sappose, travel a month here without going the same trip twice. situation: What do you pay for the red on your cheeks? What do you pay for a Shine? Do you take mustard along with your cus- I.

The people of Washington have no vote nor voice in governing themselves. tarar Do you fish with a net or a line? They cast no ballots for any officer of It is so full of fish that the truth an any sort we call no caucuses, we swers very well indeed, and lying about What do you say when you call on your girli Are vou stuck on her Gee-whiz I hold no conventions. We never hold a political meeting to discuss our affairs. ing hall, and persistently ignoring all others as interlopers. Fortunately 1 was with a party of five, so that we had abundant resources of our own, and needed not oven the civilities of ordinary human life at the hands of others.

But while we were there dozens came and speedily went driven away by tho rudeness and the sepulchral gloom. A prominent New York lawyer, as he fled, said to me, "I can stand it, but my w-ife can't. She's frozen out. She is treated as if she had broken into a private house. I am merely treated like a confidence man, but I am little in the house.

"These Bostonians are exclusive," I said, apologetically. "No, "he said, "they are not exclusive. They are merely provincial and boorish. "They do not make acquaintances readily," I suggested. "Perhaps they are a little too conscious of their alleged Puritan ancestry.

"Heavens!" he exclaimed. "It is not acquaintances my wife wants. She has now more than she can manage. It certainly isn't friends. Nobody makes either friends or acquaintances at such a place as this, and nobody ought to.

But human recognition every decent person has a right to. Tho Sioux or Bedouins would concede it to a stranger coming into their wigwams. Even on a transatlantic steamer passengers speak to each other, and it would be intolerable and barbarous if they didn't. They do not "often make friends, of course; there is a tacit rule that persons who speak on a steamer or at a summer resort shall not thereafter know each other except by specific agreement to that effect. The fact is that these Bostonians do not understand the world's etiquette.

They are narrow and ill bred and have not traveled. They protest too much, 'jtliey imagine that they will commit themselves to undesira Come off, or I'll holler hey leggo my collar! When labor unions dissolve, they will dissolve themselves. They will live until their time of usefulness is passed, and the interior sustaining force has gone out of them, but they will never be exterminated. the day's catch is almost unknown here. If there was as good fishing in every bay and river everywhere I fear that lying would become a lost art.

We have no partisan press. We are gov Kemembcr it "government oiz: N. Y. Evening Sun. A came law "Three of a kind beat erned wholly our streets, our schools, our jails, our police, our hospitals, our two pairs." Washington Post.

Those who get through the world by property, and our persons by a board of three commissioners appointed by the President. -In control they are as abso making the worst of it work hard for poor pay. St. Louis Trader. lute as the satrap of a Persian province.

One of these has just resigned, and Mr. John W. Ross, our postmaster, has been A scientific paper says: "The Fiske position finder at Fort Hamilton shows an error of less than one-third of 1 per cent in determining the distance off of a target of any well-established point in the lower bay." The Fiske position finder ought to be a appointed to the vacancy. great thing for officeseekers who as yet II. According to law one half of the entire expenses of the city are paid by Congress and tho other half by a tax have failed to find a position.

Man was made to mourn, but he has fixed things so that his wife has taken the job off his hands. Binghamton Leader. "Have you a good cook?" "She's very good goes to church four times a week. She can't cook, though." Baltimore herald. "The man's a brute.

He threatened to put a head on me." "And you let the opportunity slip? You foolish boy." N. Y. Sun. Wibble "How hard it is for a poor man to be honest." Wabble "Maybe; but it's no job at all for an honest man to be poor." Ttrre Ilaule Express. OUR PET STEAMER.

The great trouble with the region is levied on the prop- Bismarck is an enormous eater. His supper usually consists of a big Hamburg steak, a lot of Weiner sausages, that it is not easily accessible. Steamboats run occasionally, but they are a tough lot of vehicles. From what I have erty of citizens. These taxes are lev seen of them I judge that they are the ied arbitrarily, and a large dish of sauerkraut, a number of Limburger sandwiches and plenty without concur boats that New York long ago got through with and sent to limbo the refuse boats, so to speak, of the metropolis.

Between Bar Harbor (the end of the rence of the taxpayers. Is taxation of beer. At the close of this light repast he might well say with Macbeth, "I have supped full with horrors." without representa- ailroad) and here the "Winthrop" runs; johk w. ross. tion tyranny? The result of such an un-American and it is very rough indeed for steady A Baltimore preacher puzzled his old John Winthrop to have such a jig ble acquaintances if they allow themselves to be betrayed into word or nod.

They are rude and thtir knowledge of the world's busy life is to Boston Common. So, good bye. We shall go back to Bar Harbor. I cornered one of the stockholders of the place and asked him to explain the hostility shown to travelers. system is that vast sums of money are spent which ought never to he spent, and congregation the other Sunday by re markintr without any further explana taxes are collected which ought never to gling craft named after him.

For the first two miles out I thought she was going to roll over upon us and mash us into the trough of the sea, but she con tion that they reminded him of the be levied. Two years ago a coin missioner one Major iyciecKer, ot tne moon. Perhaps, with thoughts of the meaerer contribution box in his mind, tented herself with cutting up every United States Army shamelessly and "We are going to have a said Mamie to her brother, "So am said he. "How?" "By staying at home from your picnic," Washington Posi. "Clara," said he, "Clara "Thomas," she whispered.

"I do love you; but aren't you a little mistaken? This is Friday night, and I am Sarah." Harper's Bazar. It is all up with the baby when he takes a notion to cry at midnight. Perhaps it is necessary to state that it refers to the household in general. Terre Haute Express. The time passed very pleasantly in the parlor and it was not till the clock and the neighboring bells struck one "Well," he frankly said, "to tell the truth, this hotel is regarded as a private criminally squandered some two millions ho meant that like pale Luna at times other kind of dido that is practiced by the Mexican broncho.

She indulged in various caprioles. She took the flying of money by dierging a hole in the they appeared to be at their last summer home, and strangers are not wel ground which he called an aqueduct and iib boom in her teeth, stood upon her allowing the thieves who were hired to hind legs and snorted and pawed tiie at comed here. I think the stockholders would actually rather have it all to themselves. They do not expect to make money from the hotel, but from the oc The Sioux Indians who are looking construct it to steal the appropriation mosphere. She bucked till we had to He was called before the President, tried seize hold of the pummel, the bellyband, for an Indian Messiah are under the leadership of an old medicine man by court martial, found guilty, and casional sale of lots to cottagers.

fined $100! Instead of being driven from named Red Shirt, who is believed to the service in disgrace, he was sent to enjoy the summer at the somewhat lux be over one hundred years old. He gets his name from the fact that he the crooper, and every other part of the harness to keep from soaring into the blue empyrean. She sat down and tried to slide us off behind. But she did not turn summerset. When we walked oat through tho gangway we smiled and said "thank you" with a good many bas always worn a red flannel shirt, and his extreme old age is inferred perhaps from the evident antiquity of that garment.

mental reservations. I foresee the awful doom that awaits the "Winthrop. Some passenger will get so disgustingly sick I A Canadian well-digger has been on some of these passages that he will sent to jail for water down a crawl down into her hold at midnight, bore a two inch auger hole in her bottom, well which he wa3 digging for a farm and let the Atlantic Ocean in. er on a contract which called for so much money when water was struck. that the lateness of the hour struck two.

Philadelphia Times. Western Man "Now, candidly, sir, what kind of a country is New England?" Boston Man (enthusiastically) "It's God's own country, but (sadly) the devil's own climate." Weeks "A town out West has discovered a brand-new wrinkle in the faith philosophy." Simpson "Indeed!" Weeks "Yes; they're curing hams by prayer!" American Grocer. Wife "John Jones, you're a fool!" Husband "You didn't seem to think so when I was single." Wife "No, you never showed what a big fool you were until you married me. Epoch. "That's the porcupine, isn't it? What an ugly-looking creature!" "Yes.

It isn't what you would call an attractive animal. "Still it has a great many fine points about it." Chicago Tribune. "This egg, madam," said the professor, with asperity, "is not fresh." "Sir," said the landlady, graciously, urious station at Portland, Ore. Ah! this city is roughly used by its guardian, Uncle Sam, and thera is no room for the envy of her mural sisters, whose citizens are permitted to spend their own money. Townsend.

Why the Leaves Chance Lome. Probably not one person in a thousand knows why leaves change their color in the fall, remarked an eminent botanist the other day. "The common and old fashioned idea is that all this red and golden glory we see now is caused by frosts. A true and scientific explanation of the causes of the coloring of leaves would necessitate a long and intricate discussioa Stated briefly and in proper language, the causes are these: The green matter in the tissue of a leaf is composed of two colors, red and blue. When the sap ceases to flow in the autumn, and the natural growth of the trees ceases, oxidation of the tissues takes place.

Under certain conditions the green of the leaf changes to red, under different conditions it takes on a yellow If the unsophisticated fellow had only poured the water into some corporation stock it would have been a much more profitable swindle, besides being abso lately safe and honorable. A BOSTON LADY'S DEfARTURK. "In that case," I asked, "doesn't it strike you that it is getting money un 'As the sun's spots remain for two or three months on the average before der false pretenses to advertise the charms of the island and entice people to come disarmearance. we have been here with the impression that they will 6ays H. Clements, in the Newberry House Masrazine, "to determine the be treated as guests are at all other ho tels in the world "I imagine it is not pleasant to strangers," he acknowledged.

"The stockhold time that the sun takes to revolve on its axis. These spots travel from the It is cool here. We wear assorted blankets on us at night, after sitting by a wood fire all the evening, and then we get up and eat strawberries for breakfast. Some mornings it is uncomfortably cool, so that we have to pile on all our wraps to keep comfortable if we take a ride across the island to Herring Cove. The roads of Campobello are passably good, so that the summer visitor has his choice of 25 or 30 miles of them.

This would be an ideal place in which to spend the two sizzling months, if it were not for one drawback: there are no good hotels for tourists. This, it will be seen, is a monumental drawback. East-port, situated on a lovely island, faciug the cool sea, has not yet shown enterprise enough to build a first class hotel And there is not one at Grand Menan a euperb cliff surrounded by seals, whales, and eagles, and blown upon by all the salt winds of heaven. There ought to be fine hotels at both places, and there doubtless will be pretly soon. I hear that St Andrews, at the mouth of the St.

Croix, has erected a thoroughly modern aud spacious summer resort, but I have not been there aud can not vouch for it. it was laid just one week alter you eastern to the western edge of the sua made your last payment." Harper Bazar. in such a wav as to show that they ers' families form a coterie. They come here and stay all summer. They do not see tourists at all.

But they are fond of each other. Observe what a fuss is made when one of them must ao before the "Get under that ball!" veiled the form part of, and are really attached to, the sun's disc. J. ne average umi taken by a great many has been found diviner about twenty-live days as th captain, as the batter knocked a high fly to center field. "All right!" replied the fielder, running forward and then stopping, "I under-stand.

"Harvard season closes." I said I had noticed it. period taken by the sun in making one Lampoon. revolution on its axis. This letter is written for more than a million readers, and to them I can not say too much in praise of Campobello Husband "You say I passed you without speaking?" )q the street Wife "Yes." Husband "I assure Island as a summer resort. It is continuously cool not one hot day or one Preachers have been heard of now who had the faculty of their hearers to sleep while ex you I didn't see wile "i sup- warm night from May to October.

There not somebody else's pose not; I am wife." Light. are many picturesque drives. The fish pounding the gospel from the pulpit, but a clergyman in Pennsylvania pre ing is like fishing in a stocked pond or like hunting steers in the Chicago cattle yards. The excursions presented by the dentate shores and the reaches of the Bay of Fundy, are divine. The hotel sents the singular phenomenon of preaching when he is sound asleep himself.

He is known as the sleeping is admirably kept by a man who has re preacher, and while lying in deep elumoer on a bed he delivers an olo quent discourse of which he remembers duced catering to a fine art But, dear readerl don't go there dependent in the least on human society. Go as you would go to a picnic, or as you would go to a or orown nut. xne ainerence in coior is due to the difference in combination of the original constituents of the green tissue, and to the varying conditions of climate, exposure, and soil. A dry cold climate produces more brilliant foliage than one that is damp and warm. This is the reason that American autumns are so much more gorgeous than those of Scotland and England.

There are several things about leaves that even science can not explain. For instance, why one of two trees growing side by side, of the same age and having the same exposure, should take on a brilliant red in the fall, and the other should turn yellow; or why one branch of a tree should be highly colored and the rest of the tree have only a yellow tint are questions that are as impossible to answer as why one member of a family should be perfectly healthy and another sickly. Maples and oaks have brightest colors. Wedding Anniversaries. A venerable couple at Huntington, celebrated the seventy-fifth anni-versay of their marriage their diamond wedding the other day.

Here is the commonly accepted table of wedding anniversaries. First year Cotton wedding. Second year Paper wedding. Third year Leather wedding. Fifth year Wooden wedding.

Seventh year Woolen wedding. Tenth year Tin wedding. Twelfth year Silk wedding. Fifteenth year Crystal wedding. Twentieth year China wedding.

Twenty-fifth year Silver wedding. Thirtieth year Pearl wedding. Fortieth year Ruby wedding. Fiftieth year Golden wedding. Seventy-fifty year Diamond wedding.

nothing on awakening. There are times, perhaps, when a sleeping ball in Arkansas where a vendetta pre preacher is not as desirable as a wide vailsgo with a crowd big enough to awake preacher, but at least he ough hold its own or else keep away. W. A. Croffct.

to be rather popular with people who like to take a snooze during the 6ermon without being seen by the No Discount on Pat's Lie. An Irishman who had just come to New York and was not remarkably well pastor- pleased with the weather last week, or Charlie "What an intelligent dog Wildfire is, Miss De Witt, factually believe he knows as much as I do." Miss De Witt "Yes. indeed; I wouldn't wonder if he knew more than that Mr. Featherbrane." Bostonian. A man's capacity for endurance in some respects change after marriage.

The lover that never grumbled at holding a 130-pound girl for hours grumbles if he has to hold a ten-pound baby two minuies. Philadelphia Times. Young Peduncle (trying to be agreeable) "So you've resigned, have you? You are not the President of the Shakerag Literary Circle any longer, but just plain Miss Kajones." Miss Kajones. "Sir!" Chicago Tribune. "Maria, you will please start the him," called out the parson from the stairway at 11 p.

and young Doodely, who had accompanied the parson daughter home from church, took the hint and left. N. Y. Herald. Mudge "I was robbed of my good name this morning." Yabsley did it?" Mudge "The census taker, of course." Yabsley "Well, he will get two cents on it, and that is more than you could do." TSrre Haute Ex-prsss.

Jarrett "Peterson is absolutely the meanest man I ever met! Do you know what that fellow did when he was married?" Garrett "What? Declined to fee the minister?" Jarrett "Fee the minister! Why, sir, the The comparatively high prices fixed by their owners on the best animals wjth anything else in America, was belittling everything he saw to his friends, who were showing him the sights. They shown at fairs are not "fancy," and should not discourage any from at visited the Eden Musee and he had his picture taken by the nickel in the slot tempting needed improvements of their camera "Well, Patsy, did ye ever see own stock. The pure-bred stock in many cases produces enough more the like of that, now. before? he was asked. Did I ever see the loike of that replied Patsy in great disdain.

"Bedad we have one in Dublin that, if you just squint into it and drop in a farthing from the same feed to warrant a large part of the price demanded for it. The rest is abundantly justified by its ability to reproduce its valuable characteristics in its progeny. It costs comparatively little for any farmer to COOL IN AVJOUST. Campobello ought to have a good hotel for summer travelers, but it hasn't. It lias a good house, but it is not for the public.

The trouble is that it is owned by a bevy of Bostonians who regard it as their own private preserve and look upon all other guests as intruders. Fugitives from the heats of Manhattan Island may come here and stay a day. a week, ora month they will not only not be spoken to, but they will not be looked at. They may be rich, cultured, high in their professions, it makes no difference. The Boston female platoon holds tlie fort, will take your picture in three different positions sittin' down, standin' up, and wid yer baby on yer knee.

"New York grade up his stock in any desired di Tribune. A Fume, rection, and this will always pay Her Thoughts. Mamma (to little 5 year old daughter) What is my little Nellie smiling about so prettily? Little Nell (with a wise look) jest finkin' of my fhoughte, mamma; zat is all The Epocli. When his grades show the unexpected improvement, and begin to pay, it will An empty pocketbook is a man's most constant friend. Others may grow cold, ushers took up a colleation at the wed- out ne will find no change in the purs be comparatively easy to begin pur 1 clustering in diniug room, parlor, dame- ljNorristown Herald.

ding." Le. chasing and breeding thoroughbreds..