The Santa Fe Red Ball from Topeka, Kansas • 4

4 THE SANTA FE RED BALL January 31, 1911 On Second Thought BY DODD GASTON, We are not disposed to deprecate the feast, but, as we have hitherto remarked, wed rather have a pass. The Hon. Ilarvey has also the distinction of being the only cook on earth who can make turkey hash palatable. We also have with us today the old-fashioned man who wears a Windsor tie. He lives at Hiawatha, In Brown county.

I OUR FORUM II. To the Red Ball: I enjoy your paper, and like to have it in my house. Nothing improper ever apears in its columns. I approve of your editorials generally, although sometimes I am unable to determine just what they are about. You may send the paper to me to pay for the last load of cobs I delivered to you.

L. L. Kiene. Editor Red Ball: Stop my paper. The bill you sent me was an insult I paid up in full the day Cleveland was elected the second time, and there is no sense in you getting into such a stew for your money.

I wont take the paper out of the post office any more. H. J. Calnan. Mr.

Editor: Your stand for the hedgerow bill is in the line of Progress and Reform. If we had more papers like the Red Ball the world would be a better place to live in. F. L. Vandegrift.

Every man has his weakness. Mr. Hapgood, who charmed the assemblage last night with his eloquent discourse, is addicted to the poetic drama. Col. Savage acquired his title by courtesy.

It was given him by a reporter on whom he had conferred a pass to Lawrence. But Col. Jarrell won his on the field of battle as the tenor of an amateur opera company which formerly and periodically afflicted Atchison. Dramatic item: Our own criticism of Mr. Howes play, on view at the Majestic, is that the opportunities afforded for a study of the patella are much too limited to meet the views of a Broadway ai dience.

What has become of the old-fash loned editor who used to pull off his edition In person on a Washington hand What finally became of the Republican Editorial Association organized in Wichita last spring? Will W. E. Payton please write? Our idea of perfect vision is that possessed by the man who selects the Harvey young women. To the Editor: I noticed in a recent issue of your paper an item that the act of the legislature in cutting off the newspaper transportation was a good thing for the editors. That is true.

1 speak from experience. The volume of business in my office in 1910 on account of railroad cash advertising was increased $7.40. I look for a still further increase in my business when the legislature prohibits political campaign advertising. Trust the legislature to look after the interests of Ye Editor. Santa Fe General Office Building, Topeka, Kansas, 1911 W.

H. Jordan. Dont be misled by the advertising. If there were any cure for baldness dont you suppose Henry Allen would know about it? Charlie Brownes notion of a vacation is to go away somewhere and work as a linotype operator. If there is to be a contest to decide who is the busiest man, we desire to enter Ralph Faxon in the sweepstakes class.

Mr. Red Ball: I am sending you an article about myself. Knowing that your valuable paper Is crowded most of the time, I have kept the article down to twelve typewritten pages. Please make the article appear as an original piece by your reporter, quoting a prominent citizen on the subject. You notice that I make prominent citizen refer to me as the most distinguished lawyer in the city.

If you prefer to make it state instead of city, it will be all right with me. Your truly, Wm. Snort. (Note by Col Snorts personal note to the editor got into this column by mistake. The interview with the prominent citizen should have appeared instead.

The interview will be run in our next Issue.) The editors are making some progress. The order which formerly barred them from the California limited has been rescinded. dinner, and no exchange in advertising asked, or expected. Reserve a plate for me, and keep your eyes looking along the Santa Fe track, out from Pauline, for a weary, one-legged man, trudging the ties for Topeka, in time to answer the first call of grub-pile. Yours, Gomer T.

Davies. The circulation of the Red Ball is not large, but it is select. If we cant prove that our circulation is the most select in the world, we will receipt any advertisers bill. I enjoy praying time, said a member of the house yesterday, because it gives me an opportunity to reflect, and take a fresh shew of tobacco. jt Mr.

and Mrs. Sam Osterhold of the Holton Signal are here on their wedding tour. They travel incog. You can pick out Mr. Osterhold by his dimples.

'Jt Notice to delinquents: The postal authorities require, etc. Please pay. up. This newspaper seems to differ from other newspapers in this respect: it does not print Walt Masons poetry. There is some curiosity to know whether Ralph Tennal, now that he is editor of the Weekly Star, has canned his Sabetha hat.

jt Imrl Zumwalt, of the Bonner Springs Chieftain, Is a brother of Clarin Zumwalt, the gentleman who presses hard on the trail of the Rum Fiend, and is often taken for tne Arch Enemy of the booze traffic. Imri lately visited Atchison on a newspaper mission, and his presence in the town gave the saloonists in Winthrop such a scare that they held up the Jug traffic at the bridge six hours. Clyde Knox of the Sedan Times Sage of the Flint Hills would have been a preacher, If looking the part bad been an influence in his early training. Told at a meeting of the Ministerial Union: A number of clergymen were returning from a ministerial meeting, and the noted lecturer, Wendell Phillips, was on the train. One of the ministers got into a conversation with him and remarked: Mr.

Phillips, I suppose you are up north lecturing to free the niggers. That JS so, Mr. Phillips replied. You know I am an abolitionist. Well, said the minister, why 'dont you go to Kentucky? You are a minister, preaching to save souls from hell is that not so? asked Phillips.

Yes, the minister answered. "Why, then, dont you go there? was the response. Gomers New Clothes I am in receipt of a letter from your boss, the Santa Fe Railway Company, to be present at Topeka, at a luncheon to be given the editors of Kansas, January 31, in the new office of the company. I wonder if some one in the Santa Fe depot, down there, hasnt made a mistake, by leaving a part of the letter out? Or maybe this letter sent to me was forwarded from the freight department. Heretofore, when I have been invited to Topeka to be the guest of the Santa Fe, it has been clearly specified which railroad I should take to reach there.

Some one working at the Santa Fe depot, down there has made a mistake. I am not sure that I can spare the time to go I am now studying law. I have great hopes of becoming a railway attorney, so I can again become possessed of a pass. You know, Frank, how reformers you and and others howled about passes with the idea of taking the passes away from the lawyers and politicians. They still have them, and we lost ours.

A man of your wide experience can readily see, that it was carrying the reform business entirely too far entirely too far. Theres another reason why I hesitate to accept the Invitation. I should desire to make a good personal appearance, and ought to wear a new suit of clothes, which I have. Dont you think it would cause "talk for an editor to wear a new suit of clothes so soon after election? An editor wearing a new suit of clothes is always an object of suspicion, you know, anyway. In fact, it can be clearly proven, by documentary evidence, in the form of various newspaper clippings from contemporaneous sheets, that every editor who is able to buy a suit of clothes, paying cash therefor, has sold his soul to the corporations, or is robbing the county, through the official printing graft.

I am getting peevish on this point, and now rarely ever appear in public for two days after changing my shirt. But I may go to Topeka, just because theres a chance to get a free Important! A Three Card Draw. Every Editor in the State Should Belong to the Kansas Editorial Association A Good Thing for the Editor A Good Thing for Kansas EWING HERBERT JAMES L. KING CHARLES S. FINCH TiTTTiairT Vise" each" passenger oi mnen uu I A Vwl.