The Freethought Ideal from Washington, Kansas • 3

tution of the State, cither as teacher or student; and no teacher or student of any such institution shall ever be required to attend, or participate in any religious service whatever. No sectarian tenets or doctrines shall ever be taught in the public schools, nor shall any distinction or classification of pupils be made on account of race or color. 3 gregation, DID NOT KILL HIM. "For nearly two thousand years the Christian sect have been accusing the Jews of having killed a meek and mild young gentleman by the name of Jesus Christ. It appears to me it would be well for the Jews to make up a "monkey purse" of about one hundred thousand dollars and offer it as a reward for positive evidence of this curious character having ever lived.

Bah! Mortality, no wonder the New York Methodists are becoming ashamed of the Bible and their reiigion. I wish I were a Jew, I would soon run this long cut and dried lie to a grave in the Potter's Field and so free myself of the foul charge of murdering a meek and mild young gentleman who never existed except in the foul brains of conniving men." Fearing lest the Rev. Mrs. Roxey Jane Mortality would talk herself ta death, I repeated the following late news item, which happily had the desired" effect: "Mrs. Mary Holly, of Paterson N.

always declared her greatest fault was, she talked too much. She felt that her loquacity was a serious defect. Family troubles had made her despondent and one day about a month ago she told some neighbors the only way she could think of to cure herself of talking too much was by cutting off her tongue. They found her in her home several hours afterward unconscious from loss of blood, She had cut off an inch and a half of her tongue with a knife. It was at first thought she would die, but careful treatment at the hospital saved her life.

Her abbreviated tongue, however, refuses to perform its office and she is unable to articulate a single word intelligibly." When I had finished this interesting paragraph Roxey said: "Mortality, you men would be glad if every woman in the land would cut off her tongue close to her larynx, but we will yet show that we are not quite all fools like this Jersey woman. What would become of married men if their wives did not advise and talk to them? Most of them would go to the "dogs or the devil I heard ncrmore for I slept. Yours for more light; Ex-Rev. Old Mortality. The Freethought Ideal, endeavoring to get the people of this smart little city to buy his silence.

No Sfnart American man nor healthy woman whose brains are ripe aud active are in need of prayers If it were not for keeping up deception no intelligent preacher would ever bow a knee joint in this pagan formality. "Deception first, and money next are the true backbones of all religious sects the wide world over. Think you there be thoscthat will deny this? WANTS A FRESH LEG. 4 Dr. J.

B. H. Feenstra (so said the Torch of Reason) some time ago had the misfortune to lose one of legs. The Doctor published a card in his home papers requesting that the Christian ladies and gentlemen of the community pray that their god please replace his lost leg with another just as good or better if convenient. But up to last accounts the good doctor was still pegging along on one leg only.

"Oh, what fools these mortals be. The doctor is O. K. Mortality are you asleep?" "No darling, talk on; you are interesting beyond all earthly women, Go on, talk some more dear." So Roxey continued her usual nightly lecture: "A preacher at New Florence. Missouri recently killed himself because he had sore eyes.

For 'argument's sake, I will say that this preacher was a Christian that he really believed that Mary had a baby and God was its sire that the Red Sea stood up on its tail end and leaned againsf the corral waiting the approach of Pharaoh. He believed that asses and snakes once talked Hebrew as well if not better than a college bred Missourian can talk English; that every word the Holy Bible contains is as refined and pure as the down on a baby angel's wing, Now why did not this god that church going Christians make-believe they believe in, attend to this poor preacher's eyes? Bah! Mortality, prayers are words thrown away. Some of the most intelligent clergymen in New York City have recently come to this conclusion, and now instead of the old time "seasons of prayer" and a hugging of the sisters, they are telling their congregations to stop lying, stop stealing, stop backbiting, quit all their sinful habits, pay their debts, keep their promises, attend strictly to all their obligations, keep perfectly temperate in all things, take frequent baths, learn about this world, turn a new leaf, love their wives, be happy and let the other fellow pray. Some time ago a Kansas preacher said about as much to his lambs, and his dear lambs "kicked." Oh where is that good honest man now? Gone where the woodbine twineth. He talked too practical to suit his feeble minded con- PRAYER.

A thousand knees, ten thousand years together, naked, fasting upon a barren mountain and still winter, in storms perpetual could not move the to look the way thou wert. Shakespeare. 'Mortality," said my more than worser half, as I laid me down to sleep. This happened last night. "William Shakespeare was never born in the woods to grow up a toad-stool.

William knew just where and who would butter his bread. He blew cold and hot, wet and dry, soft and hard, short and long, light and dark. William knew that no gods of his acquaintance ever answered prayer, notwithstanding the so-called Holy Bible says he does answer the petitions of the faithful and forgives all their devilment just for the asking. What an evil doctrine to teach children and knaves now listen: I pray thee leave me to myself tonight for I have need of many orisons to move the heavens to smile upon my state, which well -thou knowest is cross aud full of sir. "This thought, William no doubt indicted expressly for the benefit of the true believers of his day.

And we have a few of these true believers even now. Why right in Wisconsin a Milwaukee clergymen has started a chaiu letter, not for nickles and dimes, but for prayers. He wrote letters to four religious friends asking them to pass the request along for prayers for the spiritual regeneration of Milwaukee. A few days ago it was estimated that 100,000 people were, doing their best for Milwaukee's elevation. If this Milwankee parson was born in the woods and grew up a toad-stool of course he no doubt believes that the god Moses created with his pen and ink horn will answer prayer.

"I have at all times looked upon Milwaukee as an honest, up-to-date thriving city whose inhabitants lives and thrives on the reputation it derives from its wonderful 'Brew" and its good schools, Jesus Christ was a most remarkable vinter; he took a few jars of water and in less time than I can round up the heel of a stocking, he transformed it into wine, so says this wonderful dream book. And as the preachers tell us that it was written by the finger of divinity, it must be a fact a fact or some one has blundered blundered or fabricated. P. T. Barnum once, said that the American people liked to be humbugged.

I am of the opinion that this Milwaukee parson is Dr. Bachelor, wishing to aid us in our work donated 18 copies of his little book, "Fiat Lux" to this office It is a fine treatise on the Bible and worthy the consideration of all Liberals, While our supply lasts they may bo obtained for 20 cents a copy..