The Altamont Gazette from Altamont, Kansas • 5

Mrs. Minnie Connor, of Bpnnsll -Id, Mo, THE WIT AND HUMOR. wr.s v'sitiog her mother Mm. Park tbr turnout (BmUt, Cooler weather the tlrst of the week. Lots in Uia new addition are in demand and Ond read; sale.

past week tui alter a x'sort visit rcturmd boms. L. P. Hamilton displays the flout lot of PAB8INQ EVENTS FROM THE SUNNY SIDE. 91.00 per Year, la Advance.

Mr. Wutteis and family of Cberryvale lave rented the John? Joins property an 1 expect to reside at Altaniout In the future. Ells Watters, their daughter will attend the High school, she Is heartily welcomed In Publlhed every Krldny mornlDK, st AIU-mout, Ksaaaa. f' A Florlrta Episode In Pen and Ink-Ac Art Note The Imltatlv African Witty Sayings ana Satiric! Folate ol the Wash. our social clrclts If there Is anything more aggravating Entered la the pustodlcu it Altamont, Kae as fecund class waller.

than a mule tbst wou't toll a person whon 11 Is going to jump and consequently land him on the ground, It Is to have people coming to you and telling you that you are dead, In Io ranger Vet, Father I don't like that young man who comes to see Nellla Mother It may be nothing serious. "He has been Bonding hor flowers and bringing her confectionery for weeks "Others have done that and dropped off of their own acvord." "Out last night he brought her chewing gum." "Dear mel That looks serious. Ho loves her. Are you sure of "I saw him give her the gum, and she put it in her mouth." "Oh! That's all right. If she sat according to report, or that you were severe ly III, or that you are married; when In fad you knew uothliu of It yourself.

It Is well that people keep up with the times but when tbey go so far ahead of time and claim that things have come to pai that nevor will happen. It is too wuob of good thing. Mao born of woman, Is full of microbes aud bis name Is pmta. In the morning he feeleth his oaU, aud paweth In the valley, and st night there is no buttons wbere bis suspenders ought to be. lie holdoth hit bead high but bis wife spends bis money, vegetables in the city.

Those tin fruit cans at the hardwire store are not racket goods. 25tf. Borne of the veil bloods of the city attend ed a party ai Mr. Mead's Inst evening. We understand a platform dance was given at Mr.

Charlie Cralgg's last Beveral from this city attended tho Sunday school picnic at Idunbro last Wednesday. C. A. Lane Co. are anxious to show you their leather stockings; go up and see them.

J. B. payne's Utile child has beui very low for several days but Is roported some better. Jim Long wait to Lichfield lust Sun. day In response to a telegram sunouiictng the death of brother.

Fairbanks Sins are still continuing their grsud clearance sale In order to make room for their fall stock. Buy your tin fruit eana at the hardware store. They are gusrranteed not to lush, and are of the very best quality. 25 if. U.

G. Cohoc commenced work last Wednesday ou a new residence for C. D. New-house in tho new addition. The ladles of the Chr'xtlan church will give an Ice cream social ou next Wednesday evening.

Every body should attend. Arthur Martin left somo of tho fluent peaches at this oUlce tho other dsy that we have had a chance to get our hands on this year. W. 8. Houghton has placed a stack of LOCAL TIME CARD ftt.

Louis and SuuFranclsco II. It. WKBT HOUND. No. 1.

Passenger, Jue 11:40 p. 10. No. 8. VaesBonifer, duo in.

No. U. Local Freixlit, due. 8:40 p. m.

EAST HOUND. No. PaBiDDKer, due 3:15 a. tn. No.

4. Faasenuer, due 8:50 p. in. No. 86.

Local FrelKbt, due :80 a. m. No. 38. Tnrougn FrelgUt.due.

p. m. Train 1 makei conowtlon with A. T. 8, F.

at burrtoo, Kansas, for all points In Kansas, and at Wlcnlta for points in Cuerokeu Strip and Oklahoma. Train 8 makes connection at Monett for points in Arkansas also (or poinis in Indian Territory via. Neosho, and with the Texas Limited. At St. Louis with all lines for points east, northeast and southeast.

Train 3 Connects at Burton, with A. T. 8. K. lor points in Colorado, Wyoming, Utah, Kevhdn, Idaho, Montana, Oregon, WoHhlngtoo, New and Old Mrxlco, Arizona end California.

Train 4 Connects at Monett for points in Arkansas and Texas. Train 38 carries passengers as far east es Columbus when provided with transportation. Z. T. Maktin; Airt.

there and chewed gum she doesn't love him." TIM Imitative African. and the children mock him whon he gels bit htir cat. Surely there shall only be dtBMiatlon and homelessnoes by bis fireside where bo bltoth bis fiagor nails anl bewail-etbbls wife's cooking. -Ex. The Epwortb League in conference with the attendants of the ycun; poople's prayer meeting luet TutsJuy night decided to lake clikrge of the Tuesday night services and devote it to Ud various departments of the League, one Tuesday out of the month will be devoted to the literary department, on to the social and tho others to devotional department, we believe this a move in tht right direction slnco It will help to develop C.

A. LANE CO. LEATHER STOCKINGS! ave pis Jem Up pt! If not J1 nt tlio fvIovc5 mtore and wo will tiilco plistirc in. fallowing? them to yon "No more complaint from those who BUY UATHEfc STQCKiHCS. "Look henh, Adolpbus, jess you take oil dm duds and git tor work," said a colored grocer to his fashionable son.

"Work? Mo work? 1 b.w Jiss had iny twasers cweased. Omie yer B'pose I'so got softcniu' ob do bwraiu? tiift-iags. nw i.oMt nor. Tenderly but firmly disengaglnjr himself from her clinging embrace, ho looked steadfastly into her swimming eyas. And yet he doubted.

"Do you swear?" ho asked. Upon the instant her demeanor changed. "None of your bnsinofis!" she ab-rnptly replied. Whon ho had gone, fbo sat, numb with dispir, and wondered who could bare been near, the time she pounded her finger. the mni'ttl tnd social part of our spiritual lives, we hope to see this plan movo orward at once.

Lst Thursday whllo it was raining, two little girls, daughters of A. Weekly who lives three milts south-east of town, were watering the cattle a little way from the house. Both the girls wore walking arm In aim covered by a gum coat with one arm of each girl In a sleeve of the coat. A stroke of lightning struck the youngest, seven years old, who was on the left side, killing her instantly. The other sitter, two years older, wss severely stunned, but after a while got up And ran to the home crying, unable to explain what had happfiiod.

We have never hoard of sucb another freak of lightning. Norton Champion. Words of Wisdom Every young man should belong to in (internal organization. In no way can obtain so substantial advantages morally, mentally and financially, at so small a loss of time or money, as by forming such a connection. The teaching he will receive Is of a high ennobling character.

It Is line upon line, precept upon precopt, and he will see numberless Instances of the application ol the lessons taught. Jf thorn le any class or organ'zatlon under the sun that practices what they preach, it is fraternal societies. It Is almost Impossible for a young man to grow up surrounded by fraternal In Until 01 without his lng a better man becuuse of the fact. Caldwell Advance. JV1ARRIED.

IsODGEjaiRECTORY. Irt rt Altamost Lodob, No. 4 Mt U. B44. Meels every Monduy night at Udd Fellows' Hall.

Visiting brothers cordially Invited to attend. M. J. VANdi.yii.fl, N. 0., K.

J.Kinzub, Buc. Drtt? ft Altamont Rbbbkah Loihb Ur No. 1.VJ. Meets on First and Tblrd Thursdays of each month at Udd fellows' Hull. Mus.A.

Call, N. Miss Ella Cohook, Bee. Aft tt tt Altamont Lodob No. 383. Moots everj FrltHy BUtht at WoiUmen's 1U11.

J. B.Kisuauour, M. B. Houghton, Kecorder, Or) Altamont Lodob, No. W.

Ot Moots nt 0. A. K. Uail on Friday evening of each week. Mub.

Lizzih Nkwlom, 0. Chas. Hamu.suton, Bee. Cft ft Year, No. 2f.S.

4li Meets In Ziiumormun 11 ml on the First and Third Saturday evenings of Cach moLth. W. F. IT AMMAN, P. J.

II. Taylob, Adjutant. Lr h. B. Waiid Camp, No.

132. Meets at tt. A. K. Hall on the Second and Fourth Tuesdays of each Boonth.

Miss. Stella McCiiAUT.Prcs., Miss Ella Coiioon, Bee. M.T ft Altamont Camp, No. 27fi4. Mcderu Woodmen of America, moots et G.

A. E. hall on the second and fourth Baturdsys of esch month. All Tlsitlm neighbors cordially Invited. P.

A. MouhisoN, V. H. W. Btabnkb, Clerk.

8 ft L. B. Vaki Camp No. 122. A Wr Meets every first nnd third Tuesday nights of each mouth.

Vis-IMnff brothers cordially invited. J. C. 8TAUNB3, 1 Bgt. C.

R. Baker, Capt. Prices as follows: No. 6 and 6 1-2 20 cents, 7 7 1-2 25, two pr. for 45cts.

8 to 10 25, These are made ly the Chicago Hosiery and every pair guarranteed to give satisfaction, or money refunded. Three fK of I.otoi I don't know what to make of your brother. Por three month after we met bo did nothing but write poetry to me. Dora Has he stopped that? Clara Yea. Sinco then he has made me fotne nice presents, but he his even stopped that Dora Hum! Let me see.

I have it The household pages of our newspapers have been clipped terribly of late. No douut he's making a collection of cooking receipts. He's in earnest I.atter-Daj Kttqnetto. Mra Do Science Hereafter, when visitors call, you are not to take their carda Yon munt ask them thoVr name My husband has discovered 000 different kiuds of bacteria on visiting cards. Servant Yes, ma'am.

Mra Do Science And when they mention their names, vou are particularly to notice if their voices are Colds are catching: On Wednesday, July 24. at his residence by Rev. J. D. Todd, Mr.

Frank A. Hanoi-gsn, of LTackborry, and Miss Ora (Jravi of fUrtlett were united in bands of happy wedlock, many good wishes follow them. Mr. Draper Woodruff of Montana and Mini Ennte Foster of Elm City were united in marriage at the borne of tho brldos parents at high noon on last Wednesday. About fifty Invited guests were prssent to see them safely launched on the sea of matrimony.

J. HAMILTON, Proprietor, BasnaMe Rates. If you want a good square meal cal! at this hotel which is centrally and convenientlyjlocated. Nice, clean rooms. Tables furnished with the best the market afionls.

Corner Houston Avenue and Giles Street, drug In the north side of the postoftlee building snd Is inw randy to dish up herbs for the weak. Two Oswego young men were driving on our streets last Sunday Both were somewhat hilarious and one in particular, Boomed to be chock full of "hell's delight." It Is cluliiiud that somo ouo blew up the depository at the djpol with djiiamito last Friday nlgbt, but In our jadxeuuiit it le only the result of the greeu-apple-culic Fairbanks Ji Boas expect to commence the ereutiou of a liud store bulldiug on Houston Avenue in about three weeks. It will bo 20x80 feet, built of stono wliii brick front. An ice cream social was glnn by tie numbers ot the Prenbytorian church on last Wednesday evening which was attended by a fair sized crowd. We understand about I') at cleared.

Tho Wanli.ngten Star suggests a propor epitaph for a local huro, thu following "lie never won no battles, an' he never twauged no lyre; but he got up fust an' never cbSded 'bout makiu' the kllchcu tire." Harry Mills, quill pusher of the Democrat, was lu our city lt.8t Monduy, the guest ol W. 8. Houghton and family. Mr. Mil's came over on his wheel 1 intended resuming by way of Labette City.

Dr. Pianck of Parsons preached a very interLS.lng sermon at tho Baptist church on but Sunday evening to a largo congregation. Tho Dr. Ib a recent convert to the christian faith and is an ear mac worker fur the Master's cause. Mrs.

C. A. of Newton, Iowa, who has beon v.sitiug her brother C. D. New-house the past week, left ir Csldweii, laxt Monduy accompanied by Master Frank Newbouae, where they will visit relatives for a few dsys.

Kev. Kid, a member of the Baptist Missionary society deilverod a very able di-scourae at the Baptist church last Wednesday evening all who attended are more thin ever responded to God for the christian fruit they bear, because this subjact and responsibility was so plainly set forth. We are In receipt of a contribution if items this week headed "Kaborn Items," but as the writer did not giro their name we are compelled to nject them We do not wish to publish the name unless requested to do so but desire correspondensts to give their name as an evidence of good faith. Miss Susie Taylor, one of the handsomest young ladies living outside o( Altamont, returned to her home in Pitsburg, Kansas, tn lest Sunday evening, after a visit for a week with MUs Winnie Winter. MWs Taylor made many friends while here who regret that she could not remain lender among us.

FOR MALE. A fine ten acre tract of land adjoining the city of Altamont for sale. Price $300. Inquire of H. E.

Hammon. THANKS, THANKS. We doslie to exttnd our sincere thanks to our many friends and patrocs of Altamont and vicinity, for their Kindly aid, sympathy and advice in our uast thial with the dignitary of our s'ster city, Mound Valley, which will long be remembered with love and gratitude. Faibbahkb Boms. Miss Maud Moore was Interviewing our school directors the first of the week with regard to procuring a position as teacher In our public schools for the coming term.

Miss Moore is an excellent taacher and gave general satisfaction here last season, and no dcubt would render good services, If engaged, (we mean as a teacher.) On last Monday evening about twenty young people gathered at the home of Mr. and Mts. I. H. Williams, In the north part of the city, with the avowed intention of tujoytng themselves to their fullest capacity, which they certainly did.

The first of the evening wbs spent In playing parlor games and Indulging in social conversation until the arrangements were completed for serving ice cream and cake, which, by the way, was of as good quality as any we ever had an opportunity to flop our lip over. After the bounteous repast bad been served) some one mentioned there wss a vacant room where they might play "Button" or something like that, and a grand rush was made for that place. After every one had grown weary In well doing, they took their departure, feeling sure they had spent a pleasant evening, and that no ens knows better how to make young people enjoy themselves than does Mr. and Mrs. Will, lams, as every one knows who has had the pleasure of an evening's entertainment under their hospitable roof.

i No Cbanm of Failure. Upton How is Hilton getting along now? Downton Haven't heard lately, but I preeume he is making money hand over fist. Last time I saw him he was on bis way to Kentucky to start a factory. 'Hum! What did ho intend to manufacture?" "Cork screws." New York Weekly. GASOLINE STOVES A record breaker A good baker.

A home maker. THE NEW PROCESS An Encouraging )U(rr Farmer Meadow How is yonr son doing in the city? Farmer Harrow lie hasn't said much about his biibiuoss, but he writes me that he's got lots of friends there. Fanner Meadow That's encour-agln'. That shows that he ain't hod to borrow money yet. New York Weekly.

Another Florida Episode. An elegant wedding foast was sirved after which they were presented with many useful and valuable Mr. Woodford is a prosperous farmer of Montana town ship and the bride an daughter of J. C. Fostor, and Is loved and admired by a Urged circle of friends who wish them a lite time of joy.

CHURCH DIRECT Oil Y. Christian Church. Preaching 1st and 3rd Sunday la each month, at 11 and 8 m. Christian Endeavor at 3 p. m.

Sunday School at 4 p. m. Prayer Meeting evary Tuesday evening at 8 p. tu. Everybody cordially invited to attend these services.

J. J. C03ATT, Pastor. l'RESJJYTEKIAN LHUKCH. Preaching every Sabbath at 11 a.

in. and 7:15 p. m. Sabbath School at 10 a. m.

JuDtor Endeavor at p. in. Y. P. S.

C. Kndeavor at 6:30 p. m. Prayer Meeting Wednesday at 7:30 o'clock. J.

D. Todi, Pastor. 91. L. CHURCH.

Preaching every alternate Sunday at 11 a. and every Sunday at 7 p. m. SuTiday School at 10 a. m.

Junior League at 3 p. in. Young People's meeting Tuesday 7 p. m. Prayer Meeting Thursday 7 p.

m. Ladles Mite Society every alternate Friday at 3 p. m. D. B.

hum mitt. Pastor. CLUBBING OFFER. We are prepared to make the follow Ing very liberal clubbing offer with other papers in connection with the Altamont Gazbttb: Gazette and Bern-weekly Capital 1 00 Globe Democrat 1 SO Topeka Advocate 1 ISO Kansas City Times 1 r0 Kansas City Journal 1 80 Persons who are now subscribers may lake advantage of any of these offers by calling at this office. For sale by J.

GARST. J. C. Murphy made a business trip to farsone last Tuesday. C.

P. Newhouso snd J. IT. Rust weut to Oswego last Mcuday. Have you secured a buildlnjr spot In the new addition yol? T.

N. Todd has sold bis stock of confoc-tlonery to W. J. Ilaneock. Mies Muriel Houghton has been sick for several days, but la reported bettor.

Workmen have been putting a new roof on the Odd Fellows' Hall this week. Miss Gertie B( st made a quick trip to Mound Valley and back last Tuesday. Lester VanSlyhe came home last Sunday to see the homo lolks and his best girl. Fob Balb: A desirable 7 room residence and two lots. A.J.

Gabst. There were some speculators In the city the Hist of the week looking for investments. I. B. Williams done some fine mosonry for C.

A. LaneA repairing the damages of the storm. Mrs. Hoffman was takon quite sick last Sunday with some kind of heart trouble but UtB about recovored again. Mlas Rosa Duulsp of Edna has been visit-log In this city the past few days, much to the joy of a certain young man.

The trial of Morton Stakebake and Frod Fairbanks at Mound Valley for ftjaliug a chicken resulted In an acquittal. Chas. Garst has acquired a reputation as a tinner of no mean ability since showing his workmanship on the Lane building. U. G.

Cohoon came home the latter part ol last week. Be has been working on a building near Chetopa tor the past month. This office was treated to some excellent music by Messrs. Elmer Hull, Don Duckworth, Will Hancock and others, last Monday. Quite a heavy rain fell In this vicinity on last Saturday evening.

It la reported to have only reached a few miles in any direction from hero. Mr. Harry Swilzer, assistant editor of the "White Banner" has been In Neosho county for several dsys looking for a position as school teacher. Bquire Hill went to Joplln, last Monday on business. The Bquire made a grand rush for the third train before he made a successful start.

Miss Ona Hoflman was wearing a flag of iruco around her neck lat Monday morning. These cases of sore throat are usually the result of exposure to night air. Dr. C. 8.

Newlon came up from Winfleld last Sunday night to attend the meeting of the eounty high school board which met in Oswego last Mcndsy. The Dr. Is looking well and saeir, to be getting along nicely y'it charge. Also a full line of- Hardware, Window Glass, Poultry Netting, Bottom Prices. t'fV Wc have jiinit received our "Why wouldest thou lea va me.

Oh, gentle child." In III Ratlra Elnment Attendant Prof. Tithon, the naturalist, has got the d. t's to-niyht Imagines he's surrounded by all sorts of queer snakes. Head I'hyslclan Is he greatly terrified? Attendant Not at all; he's sitting there with a sweet smile on tlis face, classify ing them. Fuck.

110 and are prepared to fill your orders as ALTAMONT MARKET REPORT. amy dm mm? AS The following market report will be carefully revised each week and may be depended on as being correct: Buttar, per pound 8 cents Eggs, pur 8 Chickens, per 6 Hogs, per cwt 14.00 Cattle, 3.00to4.00 Prairie Hsy, per ton 6.00 Tne Gold Care's Weak Point. Winkers The gold cure may be a good thinir in its way, but tt has one unsurmountable objection. It costs money. Blinkers The curing of any disease costs money.

Winkers Of course, but with inebriety it is different A man never feels the need of a cure until his moae Is ell gone Timothy Hay, per ton 8.00 STARNES uaia, per ouenoi zitccnts Corn, per bushel 30 Wheat, per fx.