Daily Industrial Advocate from El Dorado, Kansas • 4

inquiring Child "Why do the pa- footion and confidonce would not I DEALINO IN PRIED FLIES. A Hair Raiser, The Rescue of Mr. Mr. Tlmnthv Vlirir ant lout, in the for. pers'call omoehoiaers publio servants give her, SHINING SHOES IN CHARLESTON.

A Tale of Thre Traveling New Yorkers Whii Met With a Cui-lou Adventure Mother "Because they are paid so A Central American Specimen When While looking for eranberrloa out in tbebog- "I never bolioved in that old superstition," said the orator of the eveu- Bite It Often Fatal. The winter was an unusually severe ono at Stapleton that year, and just after New Year's Lizzie knit for her much and do so little." Good News. Mrs. A. "Do you believe in a per BO HU niti, iniwn And w.nitelied on tils crown, In order to ImMlen tlio rise of a plan inor.

"about gnttinsr so frightened that sonal devilP" Mrs. B. "I can't say. vour hair would stand on end until 1 lly which lie Blight got to the precinct of had a practical experience of It; but, teacher a pair of woolen mittens, which she asked me to finish in a pretty fancy stitch she had not yet learned. Both "I import anything under the sun that I see any money in," said a down town commission merchant in answer to a N.

Y. Tribune reporter the other But I know I shouldn't if I were his wife. The men are all alike." Boston tell you it's truo.and none niuiii And then It befell. While held In bin apoll, That all that lie uttered was ''well I Transcript. of your ligurativo yarns, as some folkf my sisters were enthusiastically fond of their teacher, and I had not carried insist upon." While thus In grave study, with eyes on the flay.

"Brought in anything curious late IV asked the inquisitive visitor. The real hero in these modern days is the man who can appear to be hap my jealous fury to tho point of trylni to doprivo her of their love. So, wltl irrmuiu, lie heard, to his great satisfaction, a sound "Tell us about it," said ono of the crowd, whilo tlioy all exchanged sly py at a pubiio gathering where he Isn't enjoying himself a bit. Somer- some show of willingness, I knit the And on throiiKii tne fog Hun a little brown dog. And after lilm run Mr.

Timothy Fliror. winks. "Why, you soo, it was this way. "Well, no brio-a-brao or curiosities of that sort. I deal in the plain.every day, homely products of nature, but I tops of tho mittens in meshes of scar Wie journal.

With Hiirh IihbUi that his foot caught a vine or was out in Ari.otin.up on tho Mogollon Mountains hunting elk and doer, when Irascible Diner "See here, sir, don't let wool and white silk, and in an odd stitch I have never seen except in my think I bare someining nere winch And pulled off a shoo In diwn mud like irlne! you see I am waiting hereP" Com- will surprise you for all that. What ono day I left camp to get some watct own worK. And all that he uttered wui "whew! whewl' do you say to a box as big as a bale from a spring a quarter of a mile away, It was aoout three weeks after looking over at Ram Tim 111 Merino- led ton little nentent. And Mr. Figg knocked, though the house he say's, as I did, oh, far too often tor my oi nay tilled witn tne compressea Doa- ies of dried flies?" "Flies!" exclaimed the reporter, "What kind? Spanish fliesP" I didn't carry my rifle "along because I wanted both hands to fetch tho water, and I wasn't afraid of Injuns 'cnuse the Apaches were frinndlies.

But just as I wont around a bend of rocks close to knew not, For the fog hung low down. To the ciime Miss llrown. own peace, I saw in the brightly lighted parlor Alice Hall and my Frank Mr. Ftgg'B old time love once they loved till "Not particularly Spanish.just Span flaisant Waiter "Very well, sirf then will go and wait somewhere else." Boston Courier. He "Will you love me if I give up all my bad habits?" She (protesting) "But, George, how eould you expect me to love a perfect stranger?" Detroit Free Press.

"'Well, Tom, did the old man do the prodigal son's father act when you went homo?" "Not entirely. He fell standing near tho fireplace, talking tieirrame ish-American, iney re irom Mexico, A quarrel that parted tholr hearts like more earnestly than usual. Suddonly tho spring I 'fronted a mountain lion so close that I felt li is hot breath on and include any kind or fly that flies, name. she covered nor face witn her hands, And wann It queer and I could sco her shake with violent my face." To flnd her right here? and all kinds of flies that fly, I should say. James!" to a scoop-ful of those dried flies for this young And all that lie uttered was dearl dearl" "That was a close call," remarked sobbing.

ono of tho company. For a moment he looked at her, his Miss Drown then Implored Mr. Flgg to come man to write about." in; And tlio creBt-fullon bachelor, damp to the "It was, gentlemen, it was! And I was that seared that my hair, which whole face pitiful and tender.and then he put his arm around her and drew James went with a grin to a bale in on my neck, but there it stopped." N. Y. Herald.

the warehouse behind the office and her into a close embrace, smoothing was long they wear tho hair long out sum, One shoe In the mud, With a nnt and a thud She "If you should propose to a came back with a shining brass scoop her hair and bending over her with thore rose right up on my head, and Walked In through tlio hull to the lire that running over with thin, dry, flat my hat rose up with it, and that there wealthy girl and be rejocted, what would you do? He "Well, I suppose caressing tenderness. The door of the axed. And sat there a-drylng, with senses quite room opened and Alice sped away things, which on inspection proved to be flies of all sizes and colors, with a wonderful feat of nature scared the lion as bad us it did me. Gentlemen, I should have to earn my own living." while shutting tho opera-glass I had uuzuu A nd I lion with nweet cheer MIhs liniwn drw uit neiir: Detroit jf ree tress. he turned and ran like a doer, and my hair settled down again, but I was weak long used for spying with a snap, resolved to break my engagement, sediment of broken wings and de-ached legs.

"What are they for?" asked the Says an exchange: "With money And much that they uttered was "dearl come poor rolations." JJut poor rela Frank would come the next day to see tions never come with money. I his is mo for the last lime. dearl floBfnn Olobe, THE BED MITTEN. as a child when I got back to camp." Detroit Free Press. Doesn't Wear an Overcoat.

But the noxt day he did not come, "People buy them to feed to their singing birds. I sell them retail to one of the rules that doesn't work both ways. Texas Sitings. In his, place I received a brief note: Cobble "What luck did you have in the dealers, who tell me they are especially good for some birds at any time, "My father is dangerously ill. 1 go "Margaret," my mother would say Three travelers from New York, each with a three days' growth of board, stepped from tho steamer at Charleston and inquired tho way to a good hotel.

But the barber shop was jammed with spryor folks from the same steamer and tlio trio conoludnd to compromise for the time being upon much needed shines for throe pairs of shoos. As they looked inquiringly about at the main entrance to the hotel a little darky seated on tho curbstone, who was evidently there for business, gave a shrill whistle, quickly repeated two or three times. In a instant there was a cloud of small darkies flying from the adjacent corners. The three speediest slammed their polishing boxes down in front of the three travelers, whilo tho others scampered back where they had come from. The operation in each case had been carried to the point where ono shoe was lustrous from tho elbow grease that had been expended upon it, while tho other remained dusty and much begrimed.

At this juncture a sort of hel-meted meteor in brass buttoned blue coat came flying across the street, tug- fing tho while to get its club out of its elt. A sharp, warning cry from the little darky on the curbstone, and like a flash the other youngsters were up and away, leaving their outfits behind them. The three travelers from New York were for a moment in doubt as to whether it would not be wise for them to follow suit. They did not know but there was some curious Charleston law making it a penal offence, or at least a misdemeanor, to have your shoes shined in that city. However, the bluecoat left them undisturbed, while with uplifted club he tore after one of the smallest of the darkies.

He made a mistake in his soloction. A two hundred pound "cop" with short legs and rotund paunch is no match in a running race with an agile ten-year old darky. Th little fellow doubled on his pursuer a couple of timos, and then, allowing him to get pretty close, made a dash for a telegraph polp, around which he swung, and was half a block away in a jiffy. But the ponderous bluecoat, under full sail and unable to stop himself, went bang up sgainst that pole, and dropped to the ground without breath enough left to grunt. Five minutes later, whon he had partially recovered, he hobbled up in a sheepish way to tho three New Yorkers with one lustrous shoe apiece, who had by that time become objects of much jocular interest to several score of tho citizens of Charleston.

"What in thunder is all this riot about, anyhow angrily demanded one of the New Yorkers. "It's against the law," gasped the bluecoat, "for these boys to shine in front of hotels. Five dollars fine or fifteen days in jail." It was an interesting and pictur matching that ribbon for your wifeP" to Mew York on the next train." the eating There are to me, "if you don't conquer that jeal and for others at certain times of the Restless, miserable, I wandered off, The overcoat habit, like habit, is pretty general, some men, however, who about eating and some ousy of yours it will make your life are finicky Stone "First rate; I didn't succeed in matching the ribbon, but it led to a divorce." Cloak Review. year." "I should say they would prove faking the Stajdotnn road, and walked into the village, making some trilling miserable. who never I was but a little girl whon she be pretty expensive diet.

Just think of wear an overcoat, no matter what the We have noticed that when a woman gan to try to cure me of jealous miser purchases as my errand. It was at ihe store where 1 bought some ribbon character of Mie weather. Tho late ies, and after one of her loving lect Hannibal Hamlin was one of theso. that licaru two ladies conversing, ures I would light the bittorness of my People grew so accustomed to seeing asks to be taken to the silk counter she speaks in a much louder voico than when she asks to look at the calico remnants. Atchison Olobe.

one of whom said heart that would rise whenever the tall old man going along Fennsyi "They have small-pox at Carter's." thought my brothers and sisters more vania avenue in midwinter in a blue, Superintendent of Police "Well, sir. favored than myself. brass buttoned dress suit that they Ihismaue no impression upon me and I had forgotten it by tho time I turned my face homeward. But as I I put this down as some excuse for didn't notice it much. what do you want us to do with this myself, not a very good ono, perhaps, poung mailt'" tona Parent "I would passod Carter's lane I remembered There is a long legged, round shouldered gentleman who can be seen but the fact remains that the disposi ike you to give him an opportunity to and looked idly clown tho narrow foot almost any day in the year on Broad ituay for the ministry." ruck.

way. Suddenly all the blood in my way without an overcoat. He wears a He "And you don't caro for riches. veins seemed to stand still, for just tion was born with me and that I did try to overcome it. I had long ceased to rush out of the room to indulge in fits of passionate sobbing if my mother single eyeglass or monocle instead, but beyond the turn lay upon the ground darling?" She "No; as long as I am whether it is to keep him warm or a little scarlet mitten.

It Hashed upon able to dress better and have better bestowed an extra caress on annie or from being run over I don't know, me in a moment that it was Wednes things than other women, I don't care the time and labor spent in catching so many flies!" "You forgot, young man, that a Mexican Indian is not a Knight of Labor. His time is about as valuable as that of a sotting hen. Flies are thicker, too, in the tropical valleys of Mexico than you have any idea of something like mosquitoes in a New Jersey swamp, or shall we say, as thick as blanks in a lottery continued the speaker, "the Mexican Indian who can no longer sleep in his hut on account of the swarms of flies attracted by the filth which accumulates about his front door sometimes is stung into a desire for revenge on his enemies. Revenge is sweet, and sweeter if there is any money in it. He goes to the woods and collects a number of green twigs of a certain tree.

These he lays in a Sile on the floor of his hut, with some ry twigs under them. Then from another tree he gets a gum, which he boils into a thin syrup and spreads on ihe walls of his hut. The flies are attracted by its fragrant and far-reaching odor. They gather to feed on it. Tom, or my father patted Lizzie or day afternoon, when Alice Hall gave how poor we are.

N. Y. Press, The glass is always screwed in the same eye. lie may have been born with it Joe on the head, when I became en the Carter children their ruusio lesson. Watts "Tour wife wouldn't object gaged to Frank Blair, a young lawyer, or it may have grown there.

It is as to your joining a new club, would I turned down the lane and took up tho red initten. as cautiously as if it who had been about two years in Sta- precise as tho wearer's gaitors, and to sheP" N. Peck "Is it one of those gether they are ijiute hnglisli you had held a snake. suicide clubsP I don't think she would ploton and made himself very popular. It was very well understood that Mr.

Blair did not depend upon his know, way up. ho is the long, swing Yes, it was Lizzie's gift to Alice object to that." Indianapolis Journal, Hall, with my fancy knitting on the ing stride of the long gentleman, who habitually whilo on tho stride seems Litttle wife "I saved $30 to-day, wrist. How proudly Lizzie had told clients for the contents of his pocket book, but had a handsome income, in quite out of his centre of gravity and Loving husband "You're an angel her teacher she need not teach again with cold fingers and what a gentle Howr" Little wife "I saw a per inspires the fear that an unexpected pause may precipitate a crash. The herited from an uncle who had died abroad. He was a little too fond of dwelling upon the importance of the fectly lovely easy-chair that 1 knew kiss thanked her.

She, this fair, sweet slim figure is usually clad in yellowish you'd like, and I didn't buy it." N. rival of mine, was on her way to Car- X. Weekly. ters to danger, perhaps to death. brown checked stull, matching his whiskers and fitted after the English Would Frank still love her whon her 0, mamma! There was such Blair family, but when papa went to New York to seo his father before lie would consent to our engagement, he told me that it was natural for a young man to be proud of such a father and face was soarred and pitted Would gang of dudes on the corner style, and the absence of an overcoat on a ripping cold day lends to it a all his love be mine if she died? If "Daughter, dear, how often must 1 re picturesque appearance charming to she died, and I had murdered her! prove you for using slangP You should When the hut is black with them the Indian sets fire to the twigs on the floor, and closes the apertures from the outside.

The twigs emit an aromatic such a home. There was no oppos i The thought seemed to be shouted not say a 'gang' of dudes: say a'bery, tho common, every day.ulstcrod Broadway crowd. Af. Y. Herald.

tion made to our being married, how Indianapolis Journal. in my ears and drove away my demon. I started at a full run down the nar esque sight for the assembled Charles- ever, as my father was quite as ira portant a man in Stapleton as Mr, smoke which Kills the Hies, ana they fall to the floor in thousands. Then "I don't know," said the good-look' tomans to soe tho throe travelers from row lane, never pausing until before Proved a Quack. Stranger Beg pardon, sir, but can Blair whs in New York, and I would the native's wife dries them while he New York get to work with the aban ing policeman, "that I won't have to have some of these ladies arrested for me I saw the slender figure I sought, not be a portionless bride.

goes to sleep again." doned outbts and shine their own when I sent my voice ahead, in a ring you direct me to tho oillco of Dr. "But," papa said to me, "it really shoes. "Here's a find for you," continued ing shout: Curall? resisting an officer. That's the third one who has refused to let me help her over the crossing." Washington was comical, Maggie, in this repub the merchant, as he singled out a big "Alice! Alice Haul" Dr. Olcschool Sir? Am I to under ger ny man usual.

"This is a speci She did not hear me, and- already lican country to hear the old gentleman talk about family and birth, as if Star. stand that you intend to risk your men of the man-eating fly of Central she had entered the gate. Oh, for Mrs. Jones "I took tea at Mrs, be represented royalty itself. How Relentlessly Accurate.

"Can anything bo more pitilessly truthful than tho rolentloss accuracy of tho cameraP" groaned Morton, looking fixedly at tho proofs just re precious life with Dr. Curall. He's a quack, sir, a quack. Brown's last evening. There was ever, he was very civil to me, and he those moments lost in irresolution! up the steps, into the house! Should too, risk contagion to save herP Yet still I sped on, rushing into the house has sent you his love and best wishes, America, mis is a ny inch inhabits the low-lying coast regions of Central America, ana is much creadod by the natives for the fearful results which follow its sting.

Naturalists call it "indeed. Jn whatwayr' "In the tirst ulacn, sir, ho advertises and hopes to see you before long." magnificent array of silver, but very little to eat." Mrs. Robinson "As usual at Mrs. Brown's table. Everything plated but the food." Boston ceived from the photographer.

in the newspapers." So it was all sunshi ne for Frank and and seizing her as she stood before the fire in the great farm house kitchen. "Oh, yes," repliod "WhatP" queried Morton, for he Lucilia hominivoria. The average "Yes; that iiow 1 heard of him." "And, worse still, he's one of tho 'no Transcript. specimen is about a third of an inch "Come with me!" 1 gasped, and she thought ho had said a good thing and me until the warm weather brought the usual rush of summer boarders to Stapleton. Among them was a girl who took a room at Ramsay's, a large, cure no pay' sort of quack.

Yes, sir." long. It has a big head, as you see, Mrs. Brainie "After ten years of obeyed instantly. She told me later naturally objected to being disputed. cure no pay is his motto, I be with the eyes on top.

its ciiooks are that she could not but obey such a A suspicious wife's memory," was lieve." married life my husband still says I'm an angel?" Friend: "Does he mean commodious house, so near our own voice and such a look as mine. a golden yellow, its abdomen dark blue with purple bands, its legs black, "Yes, sir, just think what a quack he that our windows commanded views the answer, accompanied by a rominis-. cent sigh, which summed up half the itP" Mrs. Brainie "Of course not Out of the infected house, down the must bo. Won't take a cent pay until of the garden, the porch, and even its wings unusually big, and they pro but I think I'm mighty lucky to have evidonco in a divorso case.

Detroit you'ro cured." lane, I led the way, until I sank down, panting and duce a continuous ana loud buzzing Tribune. some of the rooms. The pretty girl, of whom I have written, was a Miss a husband who pretenas to mean it. N. Y.

Weekly. when in motion. "The person bitten ho says." "I seo you admit it. Walk right "What is ltr sne cnea, kneeling Alice Hall, and Lizzie, my younger A Man in the House. down beside me on the frozen ground.

A newsnaner writer asks the Ques by this fly gets a disease called myia sis. It generally begins with an itch into my office, my dear sir, and I'll treat you in tho regulation way and Is Robert's father aeaar bister, came rushing in, soon after her arrival, to announce that: lie was Jim to tho boys, Jocms to tion, "Why is it that a young man will ing of the nose, then that organ swells "They have the smallpox at Car his grandfather, Jimmy to his mother. "Ramsays have a lady boarder who ana Dieeas, next it becomes ulcerated. charge you the regulation fee whether I cure you or not." K. Y.

Weekly. ter's," I gasped. James to his father and "bub" to his sit beside a young lady for hours ana say hardly anything to her all the timeP" Wo venture the suggestion is a music teacher!" "And vou have nearly killed jour- and in these ulcers may be found the larva) of the fly. The whole face be The importance of this declaration self to toll me?" that perhaps he is too polite to inter sisters, says tho Detroit Free Iress. Ho thought if tho time ever camo when ho would bo Mr.

there could be no greater happiness beyond. His comes swollen, erysipelas sets in, fol Had Ijittlo Boston Boy. Why is it that a child's dawning "But," I said, recovering some rested upon the fact that the Stapleton music teacher had deserted her post rupt her. Boston 'transcript, breath, "who is Robort?" Mrs. Gibbs "Look at the dust on and both Lizzie and rannie were with "I must tell you!" she said; "you imagination always fills the dark closet and the empty hall of his bed those window draperies.

Bridget. father overlooked him, his mother coddled him, his sisters snubbed him, lowed by meningitis and death. One man, I knew, shot himself after he had been bitten rather than face the tortures he knew were certain. Cure is difficult. Subcutaneous injections of out musical instruction.

It was soon understood that Miss Hall wished for will keep my secret?" don't believe you have touched them room with "boars' in preference to other animals but there came a day when he had his for a month." Bridget "Thet 1 promised tnat. "Robert is my husband," she said, pupils, and her hours were filled by hevn't; mem. I wuz afraid o' breakin, The fact, however comes nearer an the time tne autumn set in, tiizzie and revenge. Ihe day was like any ordinary day to tho rest of tho world, but 'em. Do yez suppose Oi don't know chloroform sometimes do good, but as often fail.

One man I heard of was explanation in good orthodox families Fannie being her first pupils. gently; "but his fathor does not know of our marriage, and I am willing to wait until Robert can be independent to our James it was tho dawn of a now china silk when Oi see it?" Kate lather had said that we must wait a than in any others, for who does not cured by lemon juice injected into his Field's Washington. remember the blood-curdling picture of him. That is why I came here. Diooa." year before we were married, as I was out eighteen and Frank had but little Little Dick "Mammy, did God in tne old Kunday-sehool books, where WIT AND HUMOR.

business. the two she-bears were devouring the hapless children who hud pointed out We thought it an eternity, but we write the bible?" Mrs. DoStyle "Of course, my dear." Little Dick "He's awful vulgar, ain't heP" Mrs. DeStyle tho excelsior path tohlishaof the high A dead beat is a roan who doesn't were very happy until Alice Hall came to Stapleton. Frank bought a buggy and horse, and every afternoon called forehead.

you meant" work himself but works everybody "Horrors! What do Little Dick "He calls A few days ago a bright little boy of Kve a woman Frank, Robert's brother, you know, is so good to mo, brings me Robert's letters, and docs all he can for me. I have so longed to tell you, because it seems as if yon were already my sister, Frank loves you so!" "You knew Frank before you came hero, then?" "Oh, yes! He told me about you and he wanted me to be near you, so that when you knew, you would have else. jLimtra uazette. to take me for a drive through the 4, who, though most carefully guarded, 'stead of a lady." if. Y.

Weekly. Keen it before the neonle" Is what nrettv oountrv scenes around mv sometimes picks up phrases which are He "Do you ever mean to marry?" the dressy woman thinks of ner opera home, or into btapleton to make pur the last his parents would have him She "Perhaps I may some time." He hat. jjingiamon Republican. chases, for our home was about two hoar, saw a company of Salvationists "Have yon made up your mind who miles from the village proper. The mercenary maiden doesn't want pass him with their heating drums the man will be?" She "Mercy! era.

It anybody lias said that before tho writer forgivos them. Tho family wero seated at tho breaksast table, when James plunged down-stairs, opened tho door of tho breakfast room, and threw this bomb in among them. "There's a man in tho house!" "Good-noss gracious me!" gasped his mother, running to hide in the china closet. "Where is heP" gasped tho sisters, crawling under the table. "D-o-n-t be g-e-e-s-e!" chattered the father.

W-h-o-s a-f-r-a-i-d?" and ho seized tho carving knifo and rose to tho occasion. Meanwhile John had kept on to the kitchen, where lie continued shouting: "There's a man in the house!" "Lawd a massy, we'se be all killed dead!" quavered the cook. Then she rushed out and shoulcd "Police!" and soon sho had the patrol-wagon at the door. "Where is the man?" inquired the minion of tho law when ho had been informed that, there was a man and their odd attire. He hailed them He was a tender lover, but he had the earth, but she would like to get He "Still you think you will marry chosen ill in asking me to be his wife, from the door-steps with "round it tne heir.

Jsingnarnton Leader. learned to love me. i thought you never would, but you must love me a little to run into that infected house somebody some time r' bhe "lmay, harder, Aunt Thump-Thump! Step as he exacted from me a perfect trust and a confidence in his good faith that He (desperately) "Well, what's the matter with meP" Somerville Journal. It is hard to believe that a man who doesn't agree with us can be altogether higher, uncle Kig-llat. etc.

vourself to save me!" His grandmother from tho country "I love you dearly," I said, humbled it was not in my power to give him. As long as there was no cause for my Bloobumper "I read today an ac to the heart. count of how a female donned heard, and was hornlied. ISho at once proceeded to teach him a lesson in besetting fault to rise we were utterly man's attire, and for a long time eludod arrest, but at last she gave herself happy, but if I hinted at jealousy Frank was at once stern and cold. Then we went slowly homeward and Alice took tea with us, while Lizzie and Fannio stared with wide eyes at reverence "Don't you know, Johnny, sho said.

away. Spatts "bhe stopped to look "I have told you I love you, and I me in my new character of friend to in a milliner's window, I suppose trust you utterly," he said to me; "that these people are working for the Lord, just as the prophets used to do in old times. It is wicked to make their teacher. Hut it was the last day of teaching for the patient little wife. when I doubt you or you doubt me.

Bloobumper "No; in a moment of absent-mindedness she asked a woman in tho house. "Here!" nrind Jumna we had better part. I could not live in an atmosphere of suspicion." if her hat was on straight." Harper's The next ono brought us the telegram announcing Mr. Blair's death ana Sta Bazar. as he winked at his frightened family.

And yet ah me! looking over at pleton again lost its music. am zi years old lo-day, and if I Young man to newly married lady Ramsay's, how often did I see him on the porch with Alice HalL talking- ear it was not until loneanerwani mat, A TtUO MtJU via ioii wivvi ain't a man I'd like to know who is?" my old fun of them. Once some children cried out as the prophet Elisha passed: 'Co up thou bald and God sent two she-bears out of the woods, and they ato them all up!" Johnny's eyes grew big, and, bursting into tears, be chilled tho pious expectations of his anxious teacher by exclaiming between his sobs: "I think it was a shame!" in rummaging; over some of clothes, in a homo visit, I took "At last I must confess to you that I love you." "And you tell me that now. when I have been married a week. The Faith Cure.

out a nestly, as if they were discussing affairs of importance! How often, when cloth sacnue, in the pocket of which "Oh, mamma, I'm awfully sick." little late for our drive, did he tell Why didn't you tell me that before I was married "Because I was afraid that if I had done so you would have married me and allowed the other fel me he had met Miss Hall and taken her in his buggy to some distant point, where she had a pspil. "No, you're not, my dear." "Yes, indeed I am; I ache "That is impossible, Willio." "Please, mamma, won't you send for the doctor?" "Cer right in his heart. Mam's Horn. It is the parachute performer who runs the greatest risk of taking "a drop too much." Washington Star. All men do not get their deserts.

Some consider themselves lucky if they get as far as a second eourse. Washington Star. It is bard for the fellow who rakes in the jack-pot to understand why the losers do not share his joy. Indianapolis Journal. Mrs.

Figg "Where is that custard I put away this noonP" Tommy "I I 5uess it vanished into the empty heir." rulianapolit Journal. When a fellow thinks the world owes him a living he is very likely to go out and pnt a lean on a lamp-post. Binghamton Republican. It seems strange that people who want to commit suicide never think to blow in a shotgun to find out whether it is loaded. Ram's Horn.

This is the season when the young squirrel perches upon a high limb and watches the good little boy blowing into a gun. Volumbut Post. "Now, Johnny, can you tell the committee where the cradle of the human raoewasP" "Yss, ma'm; in the Rocky Lift. Boston Herald. low to become your lover." She was very beautiful, this rival of was Alice's scarlet mitten.

Lizzie, a matron herself, recognized it at once; but it was not to her that I made my confession. I told Frank-for I could add to my story the assurance that I was cured forever of jealousy on the day when I picked up the red mitten in Carter's lane. Anna Louise Harris in If. tainly not." "Why not?" "There is Siflings. mine, with a face too pensive for her no need of a doctor, lbere is no such years, though the expression suited Ensign Lehmann, while promenad Sizing Him I'p.

"What kind of a man is he good, bad, or indifferent?" "Well, that depends a good deal who teeters on the well ner soit, a ant eyes ana the per thing as sickness or pain. It is all your imagination. Get up and play with the other children and forcot ail ing in the Zoological garden in civil attire, sees his colonel approaching in the distance and hastily conceals him other end of the plank with him." Ledger. How, so, sir?" "Well, if yon size him about it." "I can't mamma, fin too sick." "See here, now. don't let me self behind a tree to escape observation.

Colonel (next morning in the feet mouth that rarely smiled. As she came to our house twice a week to give the girls their lesson, I had to show some friendship for her, and she was evidently anxious to win my favor. She had a shy, coaxing way of talking to me that, tf my prejudiced (At the soiree of the De aa IVy en hear any more nonsense. You do as ters). up alongside of Judas Iscariot he looms up mfcldling fair, but when you come to sit him down between such follows barrack yard) "Ensign Lehmann, how came I to see vou in plain clothes Bobs-Jones "Who is that woman you are told to or I shall have to whip you." "All right, that won't hurt any." "It won't, eh?" "No." "I'll as you an' me, lodge, he does dwindle loaded down with diamonds and jewels?" yesterday in the Zoological garden?" Lehmann "Because the tree was not thick enough, colonel." FamiUen mind, seemed an artful effort to disarm my suspicions; and her pretty terrible surprisin' he does, for a faot" Texas Sijlinqx.

Cholmondely "That is Mrs. Mnna Hamncr, the fashion writer, who has face was never more repulsive to me Wochenblatt. show you whether it will hurt or not." "It can't" "Why not?" "Because there isn't any such thing as Tribune. created such a sensation by proving that I violet-colored elnthino- ia naA at than when it was urtea to mine with a i amllA that: aalrerl frit tliA a jewels are vuigarW.ewer' vircwar. funerals in Turkey..