The Prison Trusty from Larned, Kansas • 4

A Schoolboy on Corns. STATE NEWS. John Yarroll, now chief clerk at the state penitentiary. Sundayed with when a man breaks his leg, let him be thankful it was not his neck. When Fenelen's library was on fire, "God be Corns are of two kinds vegetable and rlends in this city.

Ottawa Journal. animal. Vegetable corn grows in rows, praised!" he exclaimed, "That it is not and and animal corn grows on toes, A Preston man grumbles just because There are several kinds of corn; thra he has to cat hia meals off a flour bar the dwelling of some poor man!" This is the true spirit of submission one of the most beautiful traits that can pos ia the unicorn, the Capricorn, the corn dodger, the field corn, and the toe corn, rel during housecleaning time. Some men would grumble if they were about which is the corn you feel the most. It to be hung.

is said, I believe, that gophers like corn; but persons having corns do not like to The chinch bugs are about to take the Erie postoffice and the court house. go far if they can help it. Corns have kernels, and some colonels have corns. A number of persons have been sending buffs in by mail to the county clerk to Vegetable corns grow on ears, but ant mal corn grows on feet, at the other end jto exchange for deceased bugs. Some the packages were broken open Jn of the body.

Another kind of corn Is sess the human heart. Resolve to see this world on the sunny side, and you have almost won the battle of life at the onset. Episcopal Recorder. A man who labors under the name of Lawrence Lucius Lancar Lallin has been brought to light in southern Kansas. Ex.

That's nothing. Benedict Brecken-ridge Buchanan Cleary, formerly of Warnego, now plays the big bass horn in Marshall's Topeka One of our subbcribers in Texas is also well named Pasgus Erastus Buckingham Augustus Dodgion. Pottawatomie Co. Times. transit and the postoffice is full of the acorn; these kind grow on oaks; but there is no hoax about the corn.

jhem. Many a man, when be has a corn, wish The sword of Gen. St. Clair, an officer pf high rank in the revolutionary war, and later on an intrepid Indian fighter, was found on the farm of Barney Lan es it was an acorn. Folks who have corns sometimes send for a doctor; and if the doctor himself is corned he won't do as well as if he isn't.

The doctors say corns are produced by tight bxts and shoes, which is probably the reason why when a man tight. they say he ia corned. If a farmer manages Jry, near Strong City, recently Gen eral St. Clair was massacred by the In Independence Tribune: Roy Yoe. of Fawn, was up on Saturday and reports wheat heading out and prospects fine.

The corn Is being plowed and the stand fairly good. Chase County Leader: Every farmer who finds chinch bugs in his grain should capture lot and send them to Prof. Snow, at Lawrence, who will send diseased bugs in exchange when requested. Eagle: Of forty-two certificates granted-to teachers in Miami county last week, only fire were given to young men. Does this mean that the women of the future is to hare a monopoly In teaching.

The dog-ctcher started out In Atchfnson one-day last week. didn't catch anything but poodles, and at night he claimed to have sees more tears shed by the fair sex than an undertaker seen in a life time. Last week three prominent druggists of Doniphan county was flned380aech for selling liquor while, during the last three years in the same county four murderers were acquitted. That' the kind of law we have. Sterllnir Champion The editor of the Champion disguised himself in a new straw hat last week, and was taken for a minister of the gospel by quite a number of people before his identity was fully established.

Tope'ra Daily Press: If those Canadian gentlemen have come to any very clearly defined idea as to which of the two, the saloon or the joint. Is the greater evil, we would like to have thm express it through the Press. Independence Tribune: Delos Wiltse. of WhUe Post district, reports the upland wheat very poor and not pronrf sing half a crop, with myrids of chinch bugs. Corn is up nicely, but his been unable to cultivate it for two or three-weeks.

The smaller colleges of Kansas will have an oratorical contest at Topeka the last of this-month. The successful confestorwll then rep resent Kansas at a national contest at Chicago -In July. Almost every college in the state will have representatives. Scandia Journal: The Geary registration law has been declared constitutional. Now let it be enforced.

The more Chinese that can be forced to leave the country the better. This is ao rilve for a coolie who is owned by the "Six She had returned from a long visit to Boston, and the other evening waa tak dians later on land the sword became the property of the various accounts for its recovery in Kansas. It has been sent to the World's Fair. well he can grow a good deal of irn on ing leave of her very best fellow at the door, when the old gentleman up-stairs heard a sound that vividly recalled the halcyon days of hia own courtship. an acre; but I know a farmer that has Florence Bulletin.

"Were you kissing that fellow good- A sleeper is one who sleeps. A sleeper one corn that makes the biggost acher on hia farm. The bigger crop of vege tablii corn a man raise8 the better he likes it; but the bigger crop of animal fs that in which the sleeper sleeps. A he roared with paternal directness. "Why, papa! kifsing? was merely giving corporeal expression to sleeper is that on which the sleeper runs while the sleeper sleeps.

Therefore, a psychical feeling." "You were, hey? corn he raises he does not liko it. Another kind of corn is the corn dodger. The way it ia made ia very simple and is as follows that ia if you want to while the sleeper sleeps in the sleeper, Been to Boston, haven't you? Next he sleeper carries the sleeper over the time I catch you triving that kind under the sleeper until the sleep corporeal expression to a psychical feel er which carries the sleeper jumps the sleeper and wakes the sleeper in the IngJ. ll produce an excitation or your Bensoriuui with my razor strap Under know: You go along the streetand meet a man you know has a corn, and who ia a rather tough character; then you step on the toe that has the rn on it and see if you don't have occasion to dodge. In that way you will find out what a corndodger is.

Ex. stand? Now put out that hall gas and by striking the sleeper on the sleeper, and there is no longer any sleeper sleeping in the sleeper on the go to "bed." Detroit Free Press. sleeper. Insurance Sun. Flossie's Fancies.

Flossie waa spending a month in the Thousands of men breathe, move, and Jive, pass off the stage of life, and are country, and the second evening after her arrival she was taken out to see the heard of no more. Why? They do not Companies" and ruled by the Highbinder. milking. Atchison Globe: Jerry Simpson gets a great partake of good in the world, and none were blessed by them; none could point to them as the means of their redemp "Well," she said, when a glass of warm d-al of abuse because his wife wears diamonds, but it seems to us to be very much to hi credit. The Same Man 1'robably.

It ia possible that the lawyer mentioned below is the same one who has just hurled hia "taint. to" at an editor. He would make a good partner for him at least. Here is the 6tory: The case waa a murder and a cross roads lawyer was retained for his reputed skill in criminal caaes, ty th Cleveland Plain Dealer. Ou cross examination he went at the witness after milk waa handed her, "that's the first time I ever saw a milk wagon with four It Is certainly more creditable than to spend his money on some yellow-shoed and red-sus- tion: not a line they wrote, not a good word they spoke, could be recalled; and so they perished.

Their light went out egs." penderr girl, as a certain Kansas congressman did lass summer. Hens and eggB were objects of inter est to her also, but she did not see in darkness, and they were not remembered more than the insects of yebter Horton Headlieht: There ia a fortune In store turkey until she made the rounds of the for some gcYiios who will invent a machine hennery, and then 6he frightened up a this manner: day. Will you thus live and die? Do good, and leave behind you a monument great old gobbler in tho melon patch "Now (ahem,) Mr. Tompkins, you say He made a rush for the fence and she pf virtue. ell over a watermelon.

The Prison Trusty is the name of "What's that Flossie?" inquired her a neat, newsy, bright Jittle paper pub mother, "I don't know," she said aa lished by the inmates of the state pris- she brushed her dress, "but I guess it pn at Lansing, and reaches our ex you baw the defendant kill the "Yes, sir." "How did he kill him?" "Ho shot him with a revolver." "How do you know?" "I saw him." "Did you see the revolver?" "Did you see it revolve?" "No, sir." is the kind of hen that lays watermel change table once a week. Last week ons." Ex. He Was Saved. waa the end of Volume and it was a little dandy. Elk County Citizen.

And while wo are about it we might as well say that Brother Koonce, He had made a great effort to appear cheerful at the suppar table, but tha "Aha! how do you know it was a re who has just taken editorial charge of oving eyes of the wife detected the true situation of affairs, and as Boon as volver?" "It looked like one." they were alone she tenderly said: "Um-huh; Did you see him pull the "William, something baa happened trigger?" to upset you." "No, of course not," "Ah! Then you admit he didn't pull "No, dear." "But I know better. Confide in me. the trigger?" Tell me what is wrong." "Well, we are ruined. To-morrow the "I saw the blaze and smoke." "Did you see any bullet in the blaze sheriff will be in possession of the store. that will tell tho time that any absent person is coming home, as a clock tells the time of day.

Such a machine would be eagerly purchased by women who never know when to eJtpect their husbands home from town. Atchison Globe: Henry Weber and Charley Weaver have not been heard from since March 17. On that date they were under martial at Port Burchard. Honduras, with a revolutionary war in progress. In Weber's last letter to his mother, be stated that he had not seen ft woman since he left New Orleans.

Wellington Daily Mail: The Winfield, Arkansas City and other papers in the state are agitating the question as to which city can boast of being the ow nr of the oldest published book. To forever setlle the qutstion, a gentleman in this city claims to have two of the first twelve copies ever published of the original St. James bible.dated back to that apostle's lifetime Anthony Journal: A young man of good parentage, who lives in Sumner county, and answers to the name of Corn, wedded a Harper county girl last week who has always responded to the pretty name of Dolly Wheat. Yet, when the happy couple were married by one of our most popular county preachers, Rev. Frost, the choir sang the beautiful hymn, "What shall the harvest be?" Atchison Globe: An Atchison lawyer was recently placed in a somewhat embarnssing position in Omaha.

He and his wife were registered at the Paxton. ne went out in the afternoon to attend to some business, when Lee S. Estelle, the well known lawyer, sent him note asking him to call at hi room. He signed, himself "Estelle. The lawyer's wife got hold, of the note, and the lawyer made the best speech of his life demonstrating that Estelle was the name of a man.

Abilene Chronicle: There was a block of wood cut from a cottonwood tree at Hope. Dickinson county, at the Rock Island freight depot yesterday on its way to the world's fair at Chicago. It bore the following inscription for the benefit of the curious: "Challenge tree, planted In A. Henquenet.at Hope. Kan." The block measured thirty-five inches in diameter, and the inscription stated that when the tree was cut up it made three cords of wood.

For a growth of 21 years, this was good-SUeS. tree. Uazelton express: Our fellow citizens who Wo must part with our and smoke? Would the blaze and smoke have caused death?" diamonds, house, everything, and I "Of course not." "Then what danger was there in fir shall probably go to driving a horse car." ing?" "Have you tried to raise money to "The bullet.was found in the victim's tide you over the crisis?" head." Did you seo any bullet strike the de "Everywhere, but in vain." "How much would save you?" "Twenty thousand dollars would car ceased?" the Citizen, is adding many laurels to his already bright fame as a newspaper man. Here's to the Citizen'. Long may it wave.

The editor of the Pottawatomie County Times is evidently not on the very best terms with th postmaster of Wa-Biego, and as a gentle reminder of what the p. m. may expect at any moment, said editor gives warning as follows! We seldom give good advice- but the Jlttle, sa wed-off party who does business jn his wife's name and handles the Bel-jrue mail in his own should not get funny. Jokes should not be perpetrated pn Uncle Sam's postal cards. Your suspenders are likely to be severed if you meddle with the affairs of the Times yery much longer." P.

W. Craig, the editor of the Win-field Industrial Free Press, is one of those men who forsook the plow to sit upon the editorial tripod, masticate royal feast, steal editorials, etcetery, etcetery. And the "tale" which cling 9 to him through all his achievements is partially due to the fact that when he published his first paper he didn't know how to spell Perry Washington Craig. However, his charming daughter, MibS Clara, has contributed much to the success of her father as a newspaper man. She Is a refined scholar, a forcible writer, a genius at composition, and withal has an amiable disposition.

ry me through with flying colors." "Of course not." The attorney solemnly arose and ad "Wait a minute." "She ran up-stairs, hastily unlocked dressed the court. "If your honor please, we would like to introduce testimony in the bottom drawer of her dresser and a impeachment. Here is a man who awears lhit he saw one man Kill another with a revolver, and yet he neither saw the moment later stood before her wondering husband with a package in her hands. bullet leave the pistol nor strike the "Here is $22,000 in cash," she said. victim.

He didn't even see the man 'Take it and meet your obligations and pull the trigger." save your "Are you addressing the court?" asked the judge. "But how how" he stammered. "It is my savings," she exclaimed. For many years you have allowed me "Why ertainly, if your honor please." 'How do you know?" "Why, your honor certainly $10 a werk to run the table on. I have saved $3 per week right along and laid "Yes, bat you nei soe your words leave your mouth nor etrine the court's ears." were arrested last week for having some dry wood in their possession, returned last Sunday.

It seem to us that the newspapers of Oklahoma oupht to show up the unprincipled scoundrels claiming to be O. S. Marshals. The two fallows who arrested the Barber county noes pretended to be from Kunsas and were fishing, and waited until the men got their wood loaded and ready to start home, then nabbed them. The it aside for just such an emergency.

It is yours. Your little tootsy wootsy wife has paved you, and she la very, yery happy!" And he actually kissed her and got in from the club that night a whole quarter of an hour before o'plock. M. Quad. The attorney sat.

down. "Vat would you buy, AbK if I gaff Dr. Johnson used to bay that a habit pf looking at the best ride of every vent ia better than a thousand pounds a year. Bishop Hall quaintly remarks, "For fvery bad tharo night be a woraej and vou a dime 1 a nay tew ice aa mucn marshals are put there to warn people and not ather for 15 cents." to lay plots to get them Into trouble..