The Weekly Herald from Ellsworth, Kansas • 3

B. O. FUNDS. KANSAS STATE NEWS. MR.

FRANCIS' REPORT. PROMINENT CITIZENS TALK. WELL. KNOWN RESIDENTS OF CHEROKEE ADD THEIR TESTIMONY TO HUNDREDS OF OTHERS. Barmaids In London.

The number of barmaids in England has been reckoned at between 80,000 and 90,000, and W. II. Wilkins tells ns that on making investigations he found very few who disliked their calling or who were dissatisfied with their lot. He gives from his notebook a typical case. It is that of a serving girl in one of the largest bars in London, and this Is her statement: "Like the work? Of course I like it," she said, "and what's more, it likes me.

Do you think I should keep on with it if I didn't like it? I get more money at this than I should at anything else, and though I get a bit tired standing so long, when lm off duty I can do what I please, as a girl ought to when she works so hard as I do. Oh, of course it lias its drawbacks, but it is a lot better than drudging as a or being mewed up somewhere as a nursery governess, or elick-clicking with a typewriter all day long. Anyway I see iife." Blood PureTj I 7 it? Then take Ayer's Sar- 1 saparilla and keep it so. Is nt j) it? Then take Ayer's Sarsa. parilla and make it so.

One fact is positively established and that is that Ayer's Sarsa- parilla will purify the blood fr 1 1 snore perfectly, mere economi- cally and more speedily than j' any other remedy in the mar- ket. There are fifty years of cures behind this statement a i i record no other remedy can show You waste time and money when you take anything to purify the blood except layer's SarsaparillaJ' A Case in Point Mrs. Cobwigger There was an aw-ftal jamiown in the dry goods store. CiDwigger So I should judge. They aeem to have squeezed all the money out of you.

Truth. Mysteries of Providence "I see," said the lady who washes to wear bloomers, "that another has been burued to death by her skirts catching on fire. You never hear of woman's bloomers catching on fire and burning her to death." "Which simply goes to show," said the husband of the lady who wishes to wear bloomers, "how mysterious are the ways of providence." Cincinnati Enquirer. An Appeal for Assistance. The man who is charitable to himself will listen to the mute appeal for assistance made by his stomach, or his liver, in the shape of diverse dyspeptic qualms and uneasv sensations in the regions of the gland that secrets his bile.

Hostter's Stomach Bitters, my dear sir. or madam as the case may be is what you require. Hasten to use it it vou are troubled with heartburn, wind in the stomach or note that your skin or the whites of j-our eyes are taking a sallow hue. Making- His Way I'pward. "Yes, sir, twenty years ago Tilling-hast began as a train boy, selling newspapers and candy, but he gradually worked up until now he is at the top of the railroad ladder." 'What railroad is he receiver of?" Life.

Gifts For Ladies and Gentlemen. Write at once for the great Catalogue, 5.000 engraving's, of the nicest Watches. Diamonds. Jewelry, Silverware. Cutlery, flusic Boxes, Silk Umbrellas and Lamp.

It also tells tbe low prices asked by tbe MERHOD JACCARD Jewelry Broadway, cor. Locust, St. Louis, who will also send yon a beantiful pair, of Solid Silver Sleeve-liuk Buttons, if yoa rriU enclose 35 cents. Boston is just begging for illuminated signs on her street cars. Eastward the course of progress takes its way.

No coughs so bad that Dr. Kay's Lung Balm will not cure it. See advt. It will be an uphill job for the Germans to prove that there is trichina in American apples. Jlfgvmsn'ii Camphor lee with Glyrerf ne.

Cures t'lrappeii Hands and Kara, ender or Sure Feet, Chilblains, Pile, c. O. Clark Co- hew Haven. VU A live lord was arrested in New York the other day for stealing an overcoat from a genuine baron. Mrs.

WinslowN Soothing Syrup Fnrcliiljivn teethintr. softens i lies urns, red urea inflammation, allays pain, cures wind colic 25 cents a bottle. A schooner crew off Bermuda recently lived sixteen days on raw porpoises. This is an experiment to blow about. How It Happened.

''Great Scott!" exclaimed the young man from the city, who was fnclined to be critical. "How terribly crosseyed that half grown son of Farmer W'hetrock is? He is certainly the worst case I ever saw. He looks as if one eye were gazing regretfully back at last Fourth of July, while the other was looking anxiously forward to next Christmas. What an unfortunate thing to be born so!" "Oh. he wasn't born that replied Farmer Hornbeak.

'-One time, when the boy was about 9 years old, his father took him out in the woods an' they saw a big gray squirrel up ia a tree an' a chipmunk friskin' around on the ground some distance to one side. The old man told the boy to stand perfectly still and keep his eym fixed on both of "em while he went back to the house for his gun. The boy obeyed orders so faithfully that by the time his father got back his eye were twisted clear out of their bias.au' they've staid that way ever since, A Serious Case. Mrs. Briske Johnny, did the doctor call while I was out? Little Johnny (stopping his play) Yes'm.

He felt my puLse an' looked at my tongue, and shook his head and said it was a very serious case, and he left this prescription, and said he'd call again before night. Mrs. Briske Gracious me! It wasn't you I sent him to see; it was the baby. A Peoria man left S10O.OO0 to publie institutions and to his relatives. It is the custom to go to the other extreme, and one practice is about as bad as the others.

and their marvelous cure. Science of the lta Century looks on wita amazement at the most remarkable record of cures known in the World's history. PEOPLE CURED a single failure by "5 Drops." RHEUMATISM, NEURALGIA, CATARRH, ASTHMA, HEADACHE OVER 200,000 in the last year without As a positive cure for Rheumatism. Stelatlem. Aearalcla, la.

Ua.ck.ache, Asthma, Hay ver, mtrr er voumiesa. )rrvou and Ilendaebra, Heart Weakness, Toothaene Kararhe, Croup, tiwelllne. Orlppe. Malaria, Creeplne Xinknnt, rlt. "5 Drops" bas never been equaled or rturpassed.

and is a pleasant, prompt and permanent cure. Though fre from opiates and perfectly harmless. -5 Drops' is the most concentrated and powerful specific known. "5 Drops" can fall in no way short of what we claim, for no disease is too deeply rooied or painful to yield to thin wonderful medicine, and relief is usually felt Ihe very first nietat. What it has already done to relieve suffering humanity is told in letters of craielul praise from thousands of hearts once sickened and heavy witla Expert Little Makes a Bad Showing of the Railroad's Finances.

Md.Dee. 5. The report of Stephen Little, expert accountan! of the Baltimore Ohio reorganization committee, was made public to-day. It noted among other things an overstatement of the net income amounting to 2,721,007 from June 30, 1S91, tc June 30, 1895. It was also found that of SO, 209,007 oaid in dividends during the period mentioned only 5971,440 was earned.

Mr. Little says that the liabilities ol the company to November 30, 1895, were understated by $5,481,834 and that the floating debt was 10.212,730. The net increase in the liabilities in the period under review was 22, ISO, -03. PERMANENT ARBITRATION. Ambassador Bayard Hopes for a Broad Anglo-American Treaty.

New Yokk, Dec. 4. A copyright cablegram to the Evening Post says that Ambassador Bayard assured the Evening Post's correspondent to-day of his belief that before his departure from England some permanent arrangement of arbitration would be reached between England and America. Negotiations were, he said, being conducted at Washington, not through him, but they arose so naturally from the affinities of the two peoples that nqw the Venezuelan question had moved so far towards a settlement there was every reason to hope for a speedy and favorable issue in the larger question. IN A MAN'S ROLE.

Sarah Bernhardt Makes a Hit in a Xen I.ine. Paris, Dec. 5. Mme. Sarah Bernhardt scored a fresh triumph in hei assumption of the title role of De Mus-set's "Lorenzaccio" at the Rainssance theater last night.

The play was presented with a splendid cast and mounting. There is only one opinion ol Mme. Bernhardt's superb acting of the male part, but there is a different view of the value of the piece. Some of the critics think that the actress has only produced it as a proof of her versatility and as a stepping stone to the future assumption of the role of Hamlet. Philanthropist Bliss Will.

Canton, Dee. 5. The will of Philanthropist George Bliss has been recorded. The residue of a large estate privately disposed of is distributed among the following institutions: Yale, $50,000: the New York Woman's hospital, the hospital of the New York Society for the Relief of the Ruptured and Crippled, 20.000; the Manhattan Eye and Ear hospital, the New York City Mission and Tract society. the New York Protestant Episcopal Mission society, the Domestic and Foreign Mission society of the Protestant Episcopal church of the United States, to the Northampton, Woman's home.

$10,000. Corbett on the Fight. New York, Dec. 3. Pugilist Corbett shed no tears of regret over the defeat of Fitzsimmons by Sharkey.

One result of the San Francisco fight, Corbett said, would be to put Sharkey in the first rank among fighters. While Corbett had thought at the. conclusion oi the first round that the sailor could not last, his judgment was that as the fight progressed Sharkey improved both in hitting power and in enduring punishment. Corbett added that Referee Earp was not the man to make an unfair decision. Millionaire's Son in Jail.

Chicago, Dec. 5. The son of a millionaire, bred in luxurj-, finely educated and liberally endowed with intellect, M. F. Cohen, occupies a cell at the county jail, without friends and unable to give bonds.

lie is penniless. The prisoner is charged with the larceny of $400 from the New York Life Insurance Company. George W. Riggs, the local manager, is the complaining witness. In addition, it is said, that Cohen has several charges pending against him in the West, besides others in Chicago.

Ran His Seek Into the Xoose. Denver, Dec. 5. Allen Ilense Downen, highwayman and self -accused murderer of Joel G. Ash worth, has been found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury.

He pleaded guilty, but the plea was not received by the court, as the prisoner expressed a wish to be hanged. Ashworth was shot by a footpad June 27 last. Downen would not have been suspected of the murder had he not made a confession. Preston's Conviction Almost Sure. St.

Joseph, Dec. 2. The attorneys for the state in the cases against II. Li. Preston, late editor of a defunct Kansas City disreputable weekly, say that the decision of tlie Supreme court in the case of Joseph W.

Van Wye, local agent of the paper, who was sentenced to two years imprisonment, makes the conviction of Preston a certainty at the next term of the Clinton county Circuit court at Plattsburg. Ex-Cashier Yonngs Exonerated. Wakeensbi-rg, Dec. 5. Theodore Youngs, who was cashier of the Johnson Countj- Savings bank and who was indicted for receiving deposits when he knew the institution to be in a failing- condition, has been exonerated.

Criminal Judge Lay having dismissed the cases against him for want of cause. Death Charged to Anti-Toxin. A Anti-toxtn was the alleged cause ol the death of Miss Florence Beck with, daughter of Captain Warren Beckwitli. She had developed strong symptoms ol diphtheria. Two physicians were called and decided to inject anti-toxin.

Almost instantly after the injection Miss Beckwith complained of a tingling sensation about the face and neck and in five minutes was dead. The same opportunities make a here of one man and an ass of another. Officials to lie Arrested. Des Moines, Iowa, Dee. 5.

Federal officers of the Southern district oi Iowa will next week arrest the officers and trustees of the Iowa Soldiers home at Marshalltown for committing a misdemeanor against the federal government by interfering with the pensions of soldiers who are inmates of the home. l.eedy's Kiece His Stenographer. Topeka, Dee. 4. Governor-elect Leedy has appointed his niece.

Augusta Hayes of Wyandotte to be his stenographer. John W. Breidenthal is a senatorial candidate. J. C.

Morrill, hardware dealer, Pittsburg, failed. Northwest Kansas horses are dying off fast from a mysterious Ed C. Little of Abilene is Governor Leedy's private secretary. Hutchinson is getting up a charity ball. About 10,000 head of Indian Territory cattle will be fed at Herington this winter.

The Rev. Mr. Tarbill of Abilene has been appointed superintendent of Methodist missions in The wife of President-elect McKin-ley and Mrs. E. A.

Mize of Atchison were schoolmates Delhi, N. Y. A large number of elevators along the Central branch have been shut down because of the scarcity of cars. The demand for Secretary Coburn's report on cow culture is greater than the supply. Cattlemen say the report is a good thing.

Superintendent Faulkner of the Orphans' home at Atchison will accept a similar position at the Washburn Orphans' home at Minneapolis, Minn. Ship your Butter, Eggs, Poultry and Game direct to Frank Hyde 114 East Fourth street Kansas City, Mo. Prompt returns guaranteed. Write for regular weekly quotations and tags. People who are disposed to take a discouraging view of next season's fruit crop have possibly overlooked the marriage of Sadie Appleton and Alfred Plumtree at Cottonwood Falls last week.

John Rogers, who has just been elected governor of Washington on the Populist ticket, was formerly a county commissioner in Harvey eounty, and later lived in Ness county. W. II. Morris, state auditor-elect, has selected W. E.

Topping, of Cherokee county, for one of his clerks. Topping was a clerk in the auditor's office during the administration of Van B. Prather. Secretary of State-elect W. E.

Bush has selected C. M. Ross of Jewell county for his first assistant. J. C.

Sturtevant, who defeated Joe Sibley for congress in one of the Pennsylvania districts, is president of the Merchants' bank at Hill City, and owns a large body of real estate in Graham county. The Topeka Commercial club has arranged for a public reception to the new Populist state officers to take place the week of their inauguration. The time for annual meetings is coming rapidly. One of the earliest is the Kansas Poultry association which, will be held for five days, January 4 to 9. Cy Leland, who runs a general merchandise store at Troy, is said to have had an advertisement in every issue of the Troy Chief for over twenty years.

Logan county bank of Russell Springs has gone out of business, leaving only 388 state banks in Kansas, against" 4G0 in 1891 and 11 national banks instead of 136 as five years ago. Maude McDonald, Fort Scott, still lives after taking embalming fluid, hair dye and two doses of strychnine. The doctors pumped her out each time but she vows she will make it yet. George Callahan and Chester Miller found a horse on a Santa Fe trestle, near Abilene, and notified the company in time to avoid a wreck. The company has rewarded them by giving Callahan a pass good for life and Miller one for six months.

Mrs. Minnie Hatch of near Oberlin committed suicide by shooting; cause, family quarrels. Oakley township, Logan county, made a bid for distinction by electing a lady, for constable. Her name is Carrie Fields. An effort will be made this winter to have the Legislature pass a game law which will stick.

The Murdock law is so flagrantly bad that county attorneys refuse to proseeute under it. William J. Stewart of Glasgow, wants to start a sugar factory in Kansas, and has written to Secretary Edwards about a location. The taxpayers of Cowley county are greatly excited over a demand made on the board of county commissioners by E. P.

Greer for a commission of 000 for negotiating the sale of 100,000 refunding bonds to the state school fund commissioners. Sam Riggs of Lawrence has determined to contest the election of C. A. Smart, who has been issued the certificate as judge of the district composed of Anderson, Franklin and Douglas counties. On the face of the returns Smart had thirty-nine majority, but Riggs claims that he can show his own election through votes which were illegally thrown out in Douglas county.

The contest will be determined by the state senate, which is the only tribunal qualified to hear judicial contests. State Senator A. G. Forney of Sumner county proposes railroad legislation in the form of a maximum freight rate bill similar to the Iowa law. ile has examined freight rate laws of all the states which have them and believes that the Iowa statute is the best.

He probably will introduce the measure in the senate. Thomas R. Bayne, a successful farmer and stock raiser, who lived sear Williamstown, in Jefferson county, died suddenly of inflammation of the stomach. He was 60 years of age and came to Kansas from Kentucky in 1854. He was a lifelong Democrat, and one of the leaders of the party in the eastern part of the state.

He was the first sheriff of Jefferson county and was a member of the state legislature in 1881. Miss Laura A. Wilson, a stenographer and typewriter of Pittsburg, has employed her spare moments in the study of law and has applied for admission to the bar. A. Bid well of Fort Scott, has let the contract for the manufacture of his patent steel railroad cross ties, which are to be tested in the Burlington yards in Kansas City, to a foundry company at New Albany, Ind.

The patent was granted November 10, and Mr. Bidwell has applied for letters patent in England, Germany, Russia, Canada and China. The steel ties are intended to supplant the wood tie now in use. President Ripley says that the Santa Fe railway will expend 1,500,000 in improvements between now and next July. The improbable story comes from Medicine Lodge that there is only one candidate for postmaster in that city.

John Evans, who was recently elected to the state senate of Nebraska from Omaha, is a former citizen of Lyon county. Mr. Scarce of Atchison neglected to make himself so, and consequently was arrested on the charge of peddling without a license. Washington Irving of Lawrence ha3 been granted a reissue of his pension. WORK OFTHE INTERIOR DEPARTMENT LAST YEAR.

Bond-Aided Railroad. Pension Administration, Dawes Commission and Other Matters of Moment Touched Upon The Public Domain Rapidly Washington, Dec. f. The annual report of Secretary of the Interior Francis deals with all the affairs of the various brances of the interior during the past year, and makes a number of important recommendations. It proposes a solution of the vexed problem of the bond aided roads, deals exhaustively with the pension administration, reviews the progress of the Dawes commission negotiations and touches upon various matters of especial significance in the west.

The report upens with a discussion of the public It shows the total number of acres disposed of up to June 30 last was 040,000,000, leaving public domain still vacant estimated at over 600,000,000 acres, not including the district of Alaska, with an area of over 309,000,000 acres. Since the homestead act was passed, on May 20, 1802, there have been 102,801,132 acres entered by homestead settlers. Of this almost 103,000,000 acres will all be patented when the legal conditions have been made. Of the remainder, 42,000,000 acres represent entries canceled and almost 18,000,000 acres commuted to cash. The total number of mineral entries up to date is 29,820.

Patents to railways and wagon roads since the first grant was made reach 85,729,751 acres. There also have been 335,091,752 acres disposed of by pre-emption, cash sales, scrip, locations, military bounty land warrants, townsites, desert land, timber culture, timber and stone entries, Indian allotments and donations to settlers. There are yet due to railroads and wagon roads under their grants 114,730,039 acres, of which not more than 0O per cent is available for patenting under the conditions of the grants. The total grants of land to the various states and territories, up to March 12 last, aggregated 181,858.030 acres, in addition to agricultural college scrip for 7,830.000 acres. The total of all lands segregated from the public domain aggregates 940,219, 100 acres.

The report says: "These figures demonstrate that the country is being settled with rapidity and that the public domain is being diminished by great strides. If the rate of disposition o. the last thirteen years, whicli is 25,000,000 acres a 3ear, is continued for thirteen years to come, there will be little of the public domain outside of Alaska in possession of the government at ihe expiration of that time. Of the 114,000.000 acres granted to railroads, but not patented, there can be no objection to transferring possession and control of whatever portion has been earned by complying with the grants and that may be available thereunder (estimated at 70.000,000 acres), with as much promptness as possible; but until these grants are ad justed no additional ones should be made. During the year 15,527,844 acres were patented under congressional grants." Discussing forest reservations, the report says no permits to cut timber on public lands should be granted for any purpose other than to supply the needs of actual settlers in the neighborhood of the forests where timber is to be cut, and should be accompanied by all possible safeguards.

Secretary Francis urges upon Congress the necessity for legislation for the reclamation and disposal of lands within the arid regions. The total amount paid by the government in pensions and the cost of disbursing the same for the last thirty-one years is $2,034, SI 7,709. This lacks only a little over 340,712,500 of being equal to the high water mark of the interest-bearing public debt. The present number of pensioners, whicli is 970.078, is greater by 4.000 than in 1S93, when the maximum annual cost was reached, and is greater than ever before. This is due to the death of old soldiers and the continued payment of allowances to their heirs, wlyle the amount paid is decreased through the death of invalid pensioners leaving no dependents.

The secretary suras up a lengthy discussion of the bond-aided railroad question as follows: "In my judgment, it is much better for the government to accept a lump sum in cash for its claim against these roads, if by doing so that claim can be settled and the connection between the government and the only i oads it has ever aided by direct subsidy be effectually severed. Such a solution of this vexed question would meet the hearty approval of the people generally and relieve the legislators and all branches of the government of a troublesome problem and a trying responsibility." Under the head of Indian affairs, the secretary repeats the recommendation of his prt dec jssor for a commission of three, cne of whom shall be an army officer, to take the place of the commissioner and assistant commissioner of Indian affairs. With regard to the dispute over the Uncompahgre Indian reservation in Utah, in which valuable deposits of asphaltum have been discovered. Secretary Francis recommends that a commission be appointed to negotiate with the Indians for their sale. The secretary makes no comment on the work of the Dawes commission, but includes in the report a partial report of the commission; which is now engaged under the act of June 10, 1890, in determining all applications for citizenship in the five civilized tribes.

By the terms of the act, that work must be completed by December 10. 1890. The commission says the work is progressing with a celerity that exceeded their expectations. They have already examined of the 7,090 claims. The commission will, says the report, as soon as it shall have completed its work pertaining to citizenship in the five tribes, and the negotiations with the official progrogress, proceed without delay to the discharge of the other duties which recent legislation has devolved upon it.

The turtle may be slow, but he usually gets there in time for the soup. Trouble is about the only thing some people can borrow without security. Ia Kansas Shoots Himself at Memphis. Bcklington, Dec. 5.

Word was received here this morning that John McLean, a stock shipper and horse dealer, had attempted suicide at Memphis. yesterday by shooting himself through the There is no hope of his recovery. was the cause of the act. He carried considerable life insurance. "The Most Promising: Method.

Clara Isn't there some way by which they say you can see the face of your future husband on Hallowe'en? Idn. If you have selected the party you might ask him to calL Puck. On of Their, Minister of the Gospel Another an Ex-Postmaster All Unite tn Pronouncing Pink Pills for Pale People the Greatest of Remedies. From the Sentinel, Cherokee, Kan. Rev.

J. B. Wiles, minister of the M. E. Church, who has been a resident of Cherokee, Kansas, for the past fourteen years, said recently to a reporter: "About four years ago I was a great sufferer from rheumatism, and my condition became such that I could scarcely walk.

I lost flesh and suffered untold misery for many months. During that time I tried several remedies for rheumatism, but I got no relief from any of them. "One day my nephew advised me to try Dr. Williams' Pink Pills, as he stated they had cured his wife of sciatica. I did so, and had taken only a few of the pills when I began to improve, and when I took the last pill in the box I Vas cured, and there has been no return of the disease since." Mrs.

Nellie Lisenbee, wife of City Attorney T. J. Lisenbee. of Cherokee. Kansas, In an interview with a reporter on July loth, 1896, said: "One year ago last March, I had a severe attack of la grippe which left me with sciatica.

I suflered Intensely and my limbs became so drawn that I could not walk. The family physician could give me only temporary relief by injections of morphine. My aunt advised me to try Pink Pills, as they had cured her of rheumatism, and I commenced their use. I began to Improve immediately, and by the time I had taken two boxes of Pink Pills I was cured. I have felt no pain Ex-Postmaster Joseph Lucas, now one of the leading merchants of Cherokee, Kansns, has suffered for years with rheumatism.

His left arm was so badly that at times he could not vse it. He tried a number of remedies without receiving any benefit until he commenced using Pink Pills for Pale People. These pills have effected a complete cure. Mr. Lucas carries a br of Pink Pills in his pocket all the time, nd says they are a splendid medicine for all forms of nervousness.

Dr. Williams' Pink Pills contain. In a condensed form, all the elements necessary to give new life and richness to the blood and restore shattered nerves. They are an unfailing specific for such diseases as locomotor ataxia, partial paralysis. St.

Vitus' dance, sciatica, neuralgia, rheumatism, nervous headaches, the after effect of la grippe, palpitation of the heart, pale and sallow complexions, all forms of weakness either in male or female: Pink Pills are sold by all dealers, or will be sent post paid on receipt of price, 50 cents a box, or six boxes for $2.50 (they are never sold in bulk, or by the 100), by addressing Dr. Williams' Medicine Company, Schenectady. N. T. Badly Broken I' p.

'Why, mother, dear, what has happened, a cable-car accident?" "No. I've just been to a bargain-counter sale where there was a little overcrowding." Life. Deafness Cannot Be Cared. by local applications as they cannot reach the diseased portion of the" ear. There is only one way to cure deafness, and that is by constitutional remedies.

Deafness is caused bv an inflamed condition of the mucous fininsr of the Eustachian Tube. When this tube is inflamed you have a rumbling sound, or imperfect hearing and when it is entirelv closed deafness is the result, and unless the inflammation can he taken out and this tube restored to its narmal condition, hearing will be destroyed forever: nine cases out of ten are caused by catarrh, which is nothing but an inflamed condition of the mucous surfaces. We will give One Hundred Dollars for anv case of Deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot be cured bv Hall's Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, tree. F.

J. CHENEY Toledo. O. Sold bv druggists. 75c.

Hall's Family Pills are the best An Insult. Eastern Man I do business in New York, but I live in the suburbs. Do you live in the suburbs, too? Chicago Man The suburbs of Chicago? Great snakes! Do you take me for a frontiersman? N. Y. Weekly.

Live Man Wanted To assist local druggists in working up trade on the three great family remedies: Dr. Ka3's Renovator, Dr. Kay's Lung Balm and Kidneykura. An exceptional chance for the right man. Address Dr.B.J.

Kay Med Belgium is no longer the most densely populated country in Europe. It has 202 inhabitants to the square mile, while Saxonv has 23.. Dr. Kay's Lung Balm is the and pleasantist cure for all coughs. In Genoa the price of telephones has has been reduced from 30 to 5 a year.

And 3-et we are alwaj-s turning up our noses at the dagoes. Piso'a Cure for Consumption has been a Goo-send to me. Win. B. McCiellan, Chaster, Florida, Sept.

17, 1895. The 17-year-old Yankee at Bidde-ford, who thinks he has solved the problem of perpetual motion, has plenty of time to learn better. Gladness Comes With a better understanding of the transient nature of the many physical ills, which vanish before proper efforts gentle efforts pleasant efforts rightly directed. There is comfort in the knowledge, that so many forms of sickness are not due to any actual disease, but simply to a constipated condition of the system, which the pleasant family laxative, Syrup of Figs, promptly removes. That is why it is the only remedy with millions of families, and is everywhere esteemed so highly by all who'value good health.

Its beneficial effects are due to the fact, that it is the one remedy which promotes internal cleanliness without debilitating the organs on which it acts. It is therefore all important, in order to get its beneficial effects, to note when you purchase, that you have the genuine article, which is manufactured by the California Fig Syrup Co. only and sold by all reputable druggists. If in the enjoyment of good health, and the system is regular, laxatives or other remedies are then not needed. If afflicted with any actual disease, one may be commended to the most skillful physicians, but if in need of a laxative, one should have the best, and with the well-informed everywhere, Syrup of Pisrs stands hierhest and is most largely Used and gives most general satisfaction.

pain, now painless and happy. O. F. Bu.i.ixcnuM. Prop, of Clinton Hons.

Clinton. X. writMt: "I haTe been r.sin "5 Drops" for Rhea, mat Ism for three weeks. hvinn been troubled Are years. To-day I am as well a eter in my lile, and ciaiiy recommend it to all sufferers from that terrible disease, for it is a positire cure." J.

J. Jones, of Douglas. Ksnsas, aya: "You have tbe best nerre remedy on the face of God's ereea earth. I want the frenzy without lall. Elijah Davis, of Butlersville.

"My wife was fn bed ffx months with acute neuralgia. She tried everv kind of medicine and several doctors, but alt to no effect. Tbaiilc God your wonderful Drops' cured her," for in three weeks after she commenced csing it, she was out of bed and going about." Peter I.okbfro. of r.indytroin. writes: "Within two months I have sold over bottles, which were used in every kind of disease, but have received no complaints.

It the greatest houshold remedy ia the world, and gives wonderful satisfaction." If you have not confidence enough after reaiMnsr the above letters to send for a 1 1.00 bottle, send for a sample, which contains ample medicine to convince you of its merit. "5 Crops" taken but once a day is the dose of this great remedy, and to more quickly Introduce it, we will send, for 31 davs, prepaid by mail, our 2i-cent sample bottle for 10 cents. If suiTcrinsr. don't delay, but write today. Larre bottle i3txl doses; H.oO, 6 bottles for S5.0U.

Not sold by druggists only by us and our agents. Agents wanted. SWAHSOH RHEUMATIC CURE 167-189 Chicago. HI. Where They Came From.

Oh, dear me!" is equivalent to Dio mio," or "Oh, my God!" Rotten How the famous drive in London, was originally called la route du ria, or the king's passageway. "Pope" was originally called "papa" and "Czar" and are both Caesar. "Thimble" was originally "thumb-bell," as the thimble was first worn on the thumb. "Dandelion was dent de lion, or the lion's tooth. Vinegar is taken from the French Tin aigre, or sour wine.

Domine, the old name used for a preacher, is derived from Dominus. Lord in the old Anglo-Saxon was liaford, or loaf distributor. Sir was originally the Latin senior. Madam is "my lady." Slav was originally a person of noble lineage; not the slave as now applied. Drm Reform in Conrt.

The Judge Which is the plaintiff in this case? The Plaintiff I am the plaintiff, your honor. The Judge I thought the wife was the plaintiff? The Plaintiff I am the wife, your honor. The Judge Th-the dickens you are! The Plaintiff I trust your honor entertains no prejudice against the ha-billiments of the new woman? The Judge Me! Certainly not. At the same time I feel it my duty to inform you that you don't stand a ghost of a show with this jury. The Plaintiff Why not? The Judge Because they are all married men.

Shrill voice from the jury box You're off, judge. Four of us are married women! Signs of Proficiency. "Have yon made any progress in your music?" asked Maud. "I'm doing splendidly," replied Mamie. your teacher say you are "I know it without his telling me.

The first family that moved into our house after I began to take lessons remained only three weeks. The next family stayed the month out. The next lived there six weeks, and the people occupying it now have been there two months, and don't scowl at the house as they go past it." Ralson D'etre. "I have at last discovered why daily papers are published." "I didnt know there was any mystery obout it. Isn't it to urnisli the news up to date?" "No, indeed.

The Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday issues are to tell you what a grand paper they published last Sunday; and the Thursday, Friday and Saturday ones, are to tell you what a magnificent one they're going to publish next Sunda3r." Truth. It Worked Both Ways. Grocer's Wife I vonder ef you hadn't petter loog out or dott Mr. Smeether-ton not pay us his pills. lie seems not to have peen aple to take his family to der gountry.

dis summer. Grocer (wisely) Und I have peen vonderin' ef Mr. Seezletop vill pe aple to pay his pills, pecause he haf had his family avay at der gountry all summer. Puck. Monse Kills a Horse.

A doctor of Ulackburn, England, has lost a valuable horse in a remarkable way. The animal was feeding in its stall when a mouse ran along the edge of the manger, startling the horse so terribly that in its mad struggles to escape it fell heavily and broke its back. Romance of the Wheel. "Yon have named the boy you say? Family name, I presume?" "Dear me, no! It's the name of the tandem we did our courting on." Cincinnati Enquirer. In Jail.

Parson What brought you here, my man? Convict Advertising, sir. "Indeed! How was that?" "If they hadn't advertised for me I wouldn't "have been caught!" Persons you meet every day, OF BRIGHTS DISEASE or some trouble of the kidneys, urinary or female organs. YHAT CAN BE DONE? In such a serious condition you must secure the best remedy you can find in the market AT ONCE. There is only one absolutely sure cure for these troubles, and that is "It lias stood the test of time." AHDY CURtCOnSTIPATION to iTOmTfffss 25 50 ylSmm AT.MiaBr DRUGGISTS THE MOST WONDERFUL, RELIABLE and EFFECTIVE MEDICINE EVER DISCOVERED. RRQAT T1TCT TTTIP rare aoy raseofennstfnetioB.

fasrarets are the Ideal Laxa-ADOVliUlEilll tive. never trip or arine. but rane easy natural result. Sample and booklet free. Ad.

STERLING EEHEDV Chiraco, SottreaL, or New Vert. sia. FOR THE NEXT 10 DAYS we will send by mail, prepaid, one box Dr. Kay's Lung; lialm (ioc. size) and a valuable receipt book for SIX 2-CENT STAMPS.

We know it to be the best medicine yet discovered for coug-hs. colds, hoarseness and la grippe and we want you to know this fact. The following1 testimonial is a sample of what all say of it who tfive it a tnai. IF. Kay's COUGHS, COLDS, LA GRIPPE and Miss Nellie Penoyer, 1336 So.

Tenth Kill Don't Lei mi Constipation Kill CATHARTIC raSTfrarl all a. Baling DRUGGISTS. Xmas Goming. sol lor a present as II a wood. Washing ton and Ci.iFiroRD Guitars and Mandolins.

They are the best in he world If no dealer set Is hem ronr town advlso ns and we will sell dirrtct to yoa: as manufactnr- crs we can. will and save tbe 1 r.eople nioner. Drop us a line at if I 11' ll'llltk' vrtVV jnce-J. tl. Jl.l".l.t.J nv.u man ufacturers of 1 1 1 rwood.

Washing ton and Clifford instruments: o'd-est Music Hoasa in KANSAS CITY, Sj Main Street. T1IF Warrenbnr-r nrserir want agent a' I nEZ. Money advanced oa orders. i Mohier Jk Warrensburjf. l'a.

nCIl WETTIWR CURED OR NO PAY. Mw.B. DtU-llCI IlltU M. ROWAN. Milwaukee, Wit.

W. N. K. C. 1.031.

No. 49. M7ie J. HSirrrl nrf Ad rrr'ixmirtitM Jloosm Mention 1'fUs fatter CURES AIL ELSE FAILS. I Afcst toupn isyrup.

Tastes boou. Vim time. Pold by masrirts. "SSThf Lung fit A. THROAT TROUBLES SPEEDILY CURED.

Omaha, writes: "Have used your Dr. Kav's I-tm Balm for a severe case of La Grippe. Two doses gave relief. My lungs were very sore and in takin? the Dr. Kay'a Lung Balm I found that it stopped any desire to cough at once.

The soreness on my lungs and in my bead soon disappeared. It is very peasant and easy to take and while it does not cause sickness at the stomach, like many cough remedies. It cures quicker than any I have ever tried. It cures every kind of cough. Sold by druo-g-ists or sent by mail for 25 eta.

It is perfectly safe for all ages and a sure cure for all lung troubles, nd address for booklet, it has many valuable receipts and gives symptoms and treatment for nearly all diseases and manv bave said they would not take i-00 for it If they could net get another Address tWestern office) Dr. B. J. KAY Mumcal Omaha, Xeb. JL.Jk.jt.

-V j)K rV SOLD BY IS acta lib. Cold, gllwar ranwy fcnja (ha brst Sralr, mmi at lWMt prif. 0. S. Standard sgs HandrdofSMcialtie atleii than wbol ibaircra hj Afratoaf the aaafactaran.

Handrad of Spacialtiei at leal tuaa wnolanle price, tie: Carriaava. Carta, b.rrtM. Mai am, Salt. IttMrrmaS JmrtStrm, Trarks, Aa.lla, HijIWlm, PraatSlaaito, Hi IK Slam, Drill. KaadPlam.

lawa Mawara, Kilk, Fam. Latham, Vnaiplarta, Cara Ilaad ram, Raziaaa, Taal, 1lr ean-, taaataa Hill. Craw Bar. Boiler. Watchra, t'lathlarAe.

Hit. Mara. Eteratar. Bailraad. PUtfaral aad laantrr SCALES.

Sradfarrrrrt'aUlaxaaaBduFVhAWta Sara Mmrnrj. Ill Jaroa 8t. CHICAGO SCALE Chicago, m. PATENTS, TRADE MARKS Examination and Advice as to Patentability ef Invention. Send for Guide, or How to Get Patent." O'FARKELL A SOS.

Washington, D. The ry Hay Grain of Kansas City is a strictly reliable and responsible Arm with perfect facilities enabling them to secure top prices for bay and grain. Our readers should write to them for market reports. Address 19th and Wyoming Sts. PENSIONS.

PATENTS, CLAIMS. JOHN W. MORRIS, WASHINGTON. D.C. Lata Principal EzaKinar TJ.

S. Paaaioa Bnreaa. A via. la ia and. 15 aainuiicatiat lim axtf.

aiaca. ViftlCaredhilOtvieODaya. Na Par till CwaaL DR.I.I STEPHEN 8. 1.K at a HmjALa. Db Kay's Lung Balm.