The Terry Eye from Terry, Kansas • 3

A btMlng rwitioa. Kovioei "And what Confrctloaery and lee Cream Mam 'We LATEST NEWS. jus Tomnso tale of tus fav nsip rua. own fault and, indeed, felt rather cheap when, few day later, heforo all the boy Btfldy" apologised for hit haxty shall lose ten of eur boat euMtoinert Mrt week." Assistant? "Wo will? Aro they going to Oklahoma?" Uiey'r going to gi married." will you do when you are old to act any longer?" Avtwts "Oh, I ahull then be-cornea ballet girl." Novlne: "And when you hocoine too old to be a ballet girl, what then?" Aetresu: "1 aludl never bccoino too fur tbnU" rb Jul GeraMltie Moutagu 1st by th iblin Condensed for the Convenience tMWlM to action. ab4 Itml 'UtiiwMt wa rosJIuj of Hurrlod Reader.

I Wt diNoc4 to quit teaaing tho poor little chap, and really try to eUuud from "hU' At br fl la nKMM on 1'erslan ruS. With tl tnuliuf bum, Imj Uwracluui paf, Whaveim aelf in that direction. But tho Calvin 8, rlrlr ha boon electa chairman In Cliinuwr of goLl an4 satin uaa Ui llttl uoya did not see thing in the aanio lltfht. Eatcrn man fin Chicago): "I umlrr-tand Chicago now lius a guliir oiriw of guidf to show mrangi't lout tiu oily the aiitnu aa 1'ari." l'liioagi Hutel Clerk (l.riakly)l "TtS, fir, yea, cir; but there's no uae wanting money on them. Any pnlitwinan van direct tou to the finest saloon and gambling ouaca." of tbe drmucrfttic ntttumnl eoninutUw, The best English pun we know of is 30 shilling.

Omaha mamma: "I prefer to have you co Willi Mr. Jtruwn rather than Mr, one. Youilo not look well with a small mau." Oiiiulut Hello: "Why, mama, Mr. Jonca ia the larger man. It wa when he called that the hammock broke." dutlng dressod A paint-lave rulf MtalreloJ hi I Dock; b'd A project i on foot to unito tlio citk of Bluriiian ami Jh-ninon, iu Tunua, with an 1 Iipy wore annoyed with "Ualdy, and thought ho dferved bo puniiliod for throw lug the iuk bottle at me.

Ho they only mmlo lifo all tho mora mbuirable Dlovtno trout railway. And swrwiilila, iwtt as tb moaiillulit'f pal, M'm tb 'i gleam rouiul lb umiy't Ull I Father 1'atrU'k J. Donaltuo, no of tbe oUUwt pritwtalu Mary's Tb Ixrd risnlsaieqet closed bit book down on A Piece of Her Mind. A lady corn ipondcnt bo tbi to say; for "Bulily," who utood the increased Minim in Aurwaukeu. lila kuotw druiiiwd oppreaoioii in mIoiico.

"I want to give a piece my mind to a With av Ungulthlim Uxilt bar bind ba took uvl Junto M. Gainblo, prlnrijxd owner of ono of CloTflnnd' atrw-t car line, wa fimntt duiul in hi txxl at a t'lnoigo hotel, from tlaw fateful question pniwl, AIm for the 1m4 Mid alas fr bli mil I It was a countryman from Waco who thought ttuit hi were boarded withj irniig-planks. And ue wanH to far out of tho way, cither. "Now, that' what I rail a blow In the dark," said a Dakota man to hi "Wlmt alio a-ked. "That hurricane-that came along bwt night" certain cIiim who object to adtertiaing, wiirn It coxta them an) thing thia wont coat Ihrtn a cent.

1 aufferod a living death for nearly two yearn, wiihlieailiu'liaa, backache, in min The following winter I hail quite a overe attack of rheumatism, and was bo lame that I was compelled to limp drinking carbolic acid. Ilo bavl kuult blin down on that iloeidiig brut, 'Angel divlual wilt tbou mlue?" itOiw4 All but UilrtPOD of thirty-fW wedding gwatawero ituiaunod ly entiiis ic rrram mde in -oicr vei-Hola, nt Mili-tono, N. J. around on crutches. quite luJilonlo ainnuing or walking, wa being lib-rally drngginT out of csiatvnco.

toy uiisory in-crraMHl by drugging. At lust, in dcMiir, I coiiiiiiitud tho "in of trying an advertised medicine. Dr. Pierce' Favorite Prescrip It was near 5 o'clock on a wintry af- Tba CMot Rmmob for tb froat sueeMS ot riood'i aaruparllla la found la tat fact that Merit Win. Is tb bt blood parlBar and actually aecomplUbM all tbat It liim4 for IU taparaa ouij by C.

liooe LowolU Ma II fplt grip and mdJon nip tb teeth nut homo of tiii'in are criouiy ick. ternoon and almoHt dark whoa wo fcl A cyclonn did much dainatfo at Liifonier, la till knee. Out nv moan or a sljjh gar tion, nnd it restored metotlw tileasednoMof low in the ofllco, ho were all busy "What is the social standing ot that younu) Fliblierty who comes to oe our Maryir'J aked Mr. Fntigle. "Oh, ho never stays later than 10," replied Mr.

Faugle. I hundiiy Juno iu, And bin wolo calm tb liliiiineriiui tot C'lilcnixo detcolive acnt to New York to clotting up our work for the day, were Tounir Brother: "I hare had a hard tun. Identify Alnruncy and jucuonnio, aia not anuiul bcnllh. I honor tho phyxu-inu who. When ho know he can cure, bus tho moral courage to ad vert Uo tlio fact." The lnodi-cino ineiitioned la gunranlml to euro tlnwo dellcato diaeiise peculiar to female.

Read know tlicm, and tlicy were uiecimrifea. Obi peak, mylov, and be quick you convciilciilly can; Tour i-rtwloui pup I en! log in up be lu crunched hit rlcht knea-uaii. Tho valley of tho Rhone in oullient atartled by tho flro-bolls ringing, by tho houUof Fir!" tho rattle of engines and, worst of all, by a general atarapedo through our building. All the boyg to keen in good health sninctiiiif. Why ono year I drunk nothing but milk and ato no aolid fool whatever." Elder Jtrother: "Blcaaed if I havo not known you ever aince you were born and 1 have hion with you all the time, but 1 can't rcinemlicr any such France la I1kmIc1.

The nicmoric of I 40 when l.Uiu hoiiHCi were awept down that printed gunrantiw on bott.e-wrapiier. I- ,1.. li. It blui uiitw away in bis Nuiiirad pride, you will only say you'll be uiy bride" current are lirouk'ht up by tin noon. rushed out into the hallway and headed A ni, urrnilliuilif ill, iiiit i.itfiiinvn.

er and U.wcls, take Dr. Pierce' Pellet. Cutnnol II. Rizcr hna rca'ancd the roal Wife: ''Don't fail to tnert an advertise rnent about jKKir, loi-t Kido." HiihIiiiikIi 'Fear not." Exit. Wife reads in tho following mor.iiiig): "Ten dollar ward.

Lust, last Monday, a measly, l.nirv li jx-d, croiw-eyel old tollow pup, answer: to the name of Fido. Ilo ha no tail, i wi with Hcas, hna a glnr eye, and hi whine would make a rhinoceros b.iudder. Kui.woj how to bito. Fifty reward if he returned in a hearse. Wife faiut.

"Oh, Uoaveu ihe cried. "be'U suroly die," anil une a dose. for the big Ktair-case, for not only was lion of tccrctnrv to the KanK railroad com year." Young brother: "My Una." Ladle In Luck. Atlanta (Ga.) Jonnud, May 80. also sprang to bar fawu-llke feet iiiiamonora, to Uke hi old a dialitira.

V. ...1 I. the elevator deserted, but tho flames am He baa lived upon prune and macaroon, with inn aucnt ui uio i uuvu ouiwa hvuiuiviu dense smoke were already making their survey. Mrs. J.

D. Collins, wifo of an engineer on theEait Tt-nneaoe road, and a friend of newt tut of tuuut. And, oU, tlinro'ia ploc of your trousori log la bl wot llttlo Rioulb fly at ouco, I bog. way up the "well-holo" up and down TIia atrickinir Hack lnlioror alona the "And what do ymi think of thia picture) it la my Intent "I know nothing of art, I am not a critic or even a judge of wint-imr." "Rut let mo have your opinion." "Well, I should any it wna uktI, superb uKrli." "Ah I here, my friend, you oe you a an excellent judge." which tho clovator usually glided. bcra, Mr.

J. W. Littlo, are in luck. Clydo in Scotland number and allow no menu of weakening. The trikcr stop.

My love has turned to bitterest bata'her tear THIS IS They have drawn a prizo in Louisiana Id and not ore to a van in which pronnlon wen falling thick I was forgotten in the general panic, and it was only very slowly and State Lottery amounting jtwcnly-flvohun woro boing cnrrlod to imjionea lanorera. I am aura," ilietald, with drooping bead, tkat dred dollars. painfully that I was ablo to make my GOOD ADVICE. you bare mad blin lck I ean never feel tb tame for you It li beat we part, Adiou I adieu I Mr. Collins was accn at her homo, 01 Windsor street, by a Juurnul ruiortcr this way out into the hall.

When I di Tho divoreo proceeding lictweett Sonnlor Snbin and hiawifo rorcto have been mutually agrocd ukjis ami hi proviaiun for Iter future aujiport antitdactory to tier and laf Mr. Gonewny: "I want a airtinnAu' knife, a good cue: I'm going into th wood lor a week' Itching." Dealer: "Here' reach tho head of tho stair-way not a man was left. I was quite alone on the Be limped away wher tb broaker piny. My Irlonda. lifo I wracked," be cried.

fifth floor of that doomed block while, Then ev a leap down the rocky itoop and just what you want, rocket knilo, convenient size, giaid steel; four Idnde and a corkscrew." Mr. U.i "Thnt isn't exactly it: gimme one with four eorkacrewi and a tilndo." Friend of Cheater Arthur have erected a nionument at Rural cemetery, between Troy and Albany, Now York. They have a fund of on hand to erect a horror of horror, not only were flames morning. 'Ye," she said, in answer to tho report, er's auction as to the truth of what ho had heard, "I have drawn a prixo in tho lottery." "My huxbiuid has been buying lottery rckcts ever since wo were married, ten years ago. lie would buy a ticket every month or ao, but never drew anything.

About four months ago his luck changed and he drew fifteen doTlnra, He and some of hi friends breaking out close by my side, but the You want a pood Liniment for Burns. Sprains and llndaes. Ho family ahould1' pretend to keep house without a Llnl. ment Let us name a remedy, RECOmEVIENDED by thousands, who bear willinjr testimony to its virtues and action when applied externally. Persons of every1 aUtub of tho ex-prcaidvnt in Jow lor.

smoke was coming up the stairs in sick A train loaded with Sunday K'hool pupils, avnb in tb touting tldo. And tba lady glauead to the Persian rug; Ah, Ufa I snort," lb said to lb pug. ilary Jiiuell Waterman, in Harper'l Omar. baldyT HI W. It.

8. ATKINSON. ening, blinding volumes. went into nartncrslun and bouclit a ticket. If I could have rushed, leaped or "What idiot they have on tho newsimpcr nowadays!" exclaimed llornblowcr.

"There was a rcK)rter in here yesterday and I told him about the big improvements I have been making down our wny. Of course I told him not to mention my name in his paper, and the blamed fuel didn't." their teacher and relative, on an excursion from Annnugh to Warrenpoint, Ireland, was wrecked. Seventy Ixxlies were taken from the wreck and atill there were others darted through the smoke, I might have which drew J'JJO, but they received only one-twentieth of it. "Just before the last drawing my husband suggested to me that I buy a ticket and try my luck. 1 took Mrs, J.

V. Little, a friend, stood it well enough for a few moments, under tho debna. degree of Intelligence and every rank in lifo use and so escaped into the street. But to Those who Lave ever worked with a descend slowly and painfully, one step large crowd of men, whether in ofllco. in as a (tanner, ana wo doukiu hvkct ino, S4.2K1.

for which we paid fifty ccnU each. Edward Siler, fanner, and James Wiley, farm hand, are arrexted, charge with the murder of W. W. Proctor, a noighlw who lived alono, in Atchiaon county, Kan. The murder wa rciwrted two week aco, and Perry Davis' Pain-tiHur at a time, rendered my chance of safety factory, shop, or field, have discovered almost a hopeless one.

8mith: "I hare just taken some of Dr. Quack's medicine: thought I'd try a new doctor. Do you know much about him?" Jawie: "les, a little. A friend of niino UTfik aome of his medicine once." "Did ch? was it quick to act?" "Oh, yes; there was crape on tbe door tho next morning." seems to have been a cold bioouod anuir. 'After tho drawing came wo received a circular with the number wo had encircled with a pencil mark, and on looking at it we found that our ticket had drawn one-twentieth of the capital prize of which was I stood still and shuddered and grew If any of our readers doubt the marin the fact that, usually, there is one lucky individual who becomes a general favorite with "the boys." The reasons dizzy as I thought upon my dreadful State agent, T.

D. Thacher.of Kna, has made hi report on tho mining, manufacturing and agricultural interoM of Kansas to situation. of this old standard remedy, we advise them to buy one twenty-five cent bottle and give it a trial may be varied, or there may be, appar 12,500. ne went to Lowry's bunk and drew on the lottery for tho money. "I received tlJUM and Mrs.

Littlo received But while I stood there I heard the bureau ot (Outline at vt aaiingion. it is the nrat report roceivei, and is praised as tho same. We had to pay tho bank $3 for footsteps rapidly ascending tho smoking being a model report. Boy (reading history): 'Pa, are dishon est iHNiplo still punished by the stock?" l'a (who speculates a little): my son, occasionally, down on Wall street." Persons Traveling ently, no reason whatever for such a state of affairs. Bat that does not alter facts, and it is almost invariably the case that every man in the crowd collating the money.

We have not decided what we will do with our money, but 1 i- (ln.r. llnnb Charles A. Williams, of tho Minneapolis should always have a bottle of Pain- to 111 WW UIIN V. I.biviuiu k. Btairway.

In another moment I was grabbed in the stout arms of one of those brave fellows whose business it is to fight the flames. My rescuer held me as a mother might hold her babe, in' Tribune, formerly of tho St. Joaeiih Herald, ha aued the St. Joaeph Onzette for $50,000, for libel. Tho Gazette din tod that Williams wrote the diHrcup-ctful article, which was published in tho Tribune, concerning Mrs.

silently acknowledges one of their num ivuier witu ttiem, as accidents are, liable to occur. Mr. Younchusband: "My dear. I am You ought to see him sometimes. Weally I0T lallicaS lifa Vina ttltM onnOA 4 linn sorry to seo that one of your nice new dishes her as prise favorite and a sort of ring va rr sy iiu mw una iiiuiu rvaatw ttmu A have." Old Crabtroe: "And that ain't say- Sold vernbere at 25c.

aid 1 i Bottle. leader in all kinds of joking and cussed cx-r resident nevciaua. is cracked." Mrs. louuulimlaiil: "les, love, but what could you expect? We have had cracked wheat in it for the last throe mg mucn eitncr." both arms, and leaped down tho dun There seems to be no further doubt that ness and, ofttimes be it said, a leader gerous stair-case, three steps at a time, John V. Hilmion ha been fully identified in good deeds and acts of charity.

SIMEADACiiE and George J. Baker says that the differ months." A Suspicion Act. lirVnfm.n.1 It. mntinnul TlnWn Brown: "Eli Perkins ia a fearful liar. Everything he says is false." Robinson: "That's nothing.

I know a New York edit as though it were an every day per formance with him. Pofilil velycured bj On the other hand, it i3 just as surely the case that one unfortunate wight is ence between tho Insurance companies ana the parties who captured Hillmon have bcon settled. The public i yet kept in ignorance CARTER' iiit-Hc a.ibiio ThAV Alan i A VM nia or that everything he is going to say is a lio." In ten seconds we were out on the generally selected as a sort of "scape' "What's the matter, old man?" inquired Blodson, whowas waiting in the library. "Why, you see it was dark out there in the tiftmi frnm vnn.lft In of where liUlmon is kept ma oy ino auinor side-walk, where a few moments of the Irtlgwtlon and ooHearty itios. goat" for a crowd of men the unlucky fresh air revived me thoroughly.

iiung. pensci rem mlv fornizriiiAjia.KaiiafM A cvcloue is reported as having struck ITTLE IVER Butt lor every practical joke the sub' Jones: "You ought not to suffer with tho toothache. Haven you enough nerve to have it pulled?" Brown: "Ve, that's what is the matter. I have too much nervo," "We are even, now, Hardesty," said prowsmess. Bad Taatrl in the Mouth, OoatwU titchen and 1 kissoa my who by mistake, tope she don't suspect." Deacon Goode; "You have labored continuously for five years without a vacation.

ject of every "chestnut," and the contor figure for every rude cartoon. For my plucky rescuer, whose voice seemed PILLS. Tongue.Paln In the Side. familiar. I looked up, and it wasn't a Uniontown, west of Fort Scott.

Two women and four children were drowned. The storm seems to havo commenced as far west as Barber county. Thnt part of Fort Seott known as L'elltown, in fact all of North Fort Scott, was entirely under water. Bridges are gone on many streams, and railroads TOKPID LIVER. They tha Bowela.

such ill-fated individuals the boys gen Wouldn't you like to go somewhere for a When an article has been sold for 21 years. fireman at all it was "Baldy 1" Purely Mretable. changer' uver-workea erally make things pretty miserablo, price zs lnra; "Yes, I would like to go to a circus." lie grasped my hand and shook it in spite of competition and cheap imitations, it must have suiierior quality. Dobbins' Electric Hoap has been constantly made ant sold since 18ti5. Ask lour arot-tr CASTES HEIICI1TE iTSW YOiL are useless.

warmly, and there wasn't much that and life for the scapegoat becomes a dc1 Iusion and a snare. Such an unhappy wretch was Baldy, was laughable or comical or grostesque Small Pill. Small Dose. Smalt Price.f, for it. Best of all.

Things which one would rather not have said. Harry: "Yes, Cnrrie, I love you with all my heart." Carrie: "It seems strange, Henry, that you should think so much of in the whole-souled expression of satis faction upon "Baldy's" face. I remember the time well hen the RnllMi-lTIAt traa flraf. armlia1 fr Tiillw City editor to new reporter: "Do I un Woodruff, alias Black, onoof the parties in custody charged with having a iiand in tho Cronin murder, make a now confession every few days; each being partly consistent with tho rest, and all having points which would fit in with information otherwise gained. None of Woodruff's talks have implicated Judge Michael Boland, of ma" "i aon snow noout mat.

There's no accounting for tastes, you "I thought they they had all forgotten I3RADFIELI derstand that this interview is verbatim?" New Reporter: "Yes, sir. I wrote it myself. The man was out of town." 1 Waterman, and I remember also how the same stuck to him for years the Xnow. you, he said, and 1 was sure of it when I counted heads. I guoss you are synonym for everything absurd, Kansas City, Missouri.

Dr. Pillsburv: "How de do. doctor. iRiOULATOR! all right now, old fellow. Let us be nlous, droll, ludicrous and funny to What's the news?" Dr.

Squills: "Nothing new, only I had an interesting cae a few good friends, now shall we?" "For seven long years I struggled away farming, running a mill, until I was fortunately introduced to B. F. Johnson fc Richmond, by my brother, and I went to work at once, and in tfvtn months I had made more clear money than I had made in the seven years before, liieytook me right ys ago." Dr. rulsbury: "leaf What I think I kissed "Baldy's" baud about tures all Diseases Peculiar to women I Book to "Woman" Mailid Fan. BHADF1M KEUl'LATOH ATLANTA, Sold Br all Daueauia.

Breadstuff exports from the United States during May pnst aggregated in value against 823 in May 1888, and for the eleven months of the current fiscal year 1111,015,097, aga nt 117,558.359, during the corresponding eleven months of the prcceeding fiscal year. Exports of tho that time, and I am certain I shall be the minds of "our boys." call him "Baldy" still-but Billy himself doesn't mind it any more, and to us fellows it has long since ceased to retain its old stupid meaning conveying to our his friend as long as he will let me. was it?" Dr. Squills: "I performed a wonderful operation on Mr. Fresh's boy's eye-little Johnnie Fresh.

He had a fearful case of cataract, and I saved the poer little fellow's eye." Dr. Pillsbury: "That's good! How's the boy?" Dr. Squills: "Oh, the boy died." I prescribe ana fan? done Bio- as the only specific UlSTOKIVAL PUNS. principal arucitre ui pruvirtiuiis uuriuu past agregregated in value $8,225,692, rCnrMlB by the hand from the start and seemed to be very glad of the chance to show me how to do it." This is about what a young man said a year or so ago of the above mentioned firm. Since that tune he has been steadily at work for them, and is now one of the hap-oiest men in America.

If you need employ 1 tO a DATS. minds, instead, thoughts and ideas of Perhaps the non-professional wits Qgaraotaad nol against in May, ises. aaaMBtrtakii. the natural and spontaneous punsters of this disease. O.H.IXOKAHAM.H.

Aniaterdam, N. Y. We have sold Big for; many years, and It baa' The Neosho river is on a biff tear. Great goodness, bravery, and self-denial such as, I am fain to think, makes us better MMoalrbrth Why He Was Late. "Dennis," said a sentleman to his janitor often say the best things, but then there ilTUiCstBlealfll ment, it would be a good thin? for you to quantities of harvested wheat and oats have panned Parsons on the high tide.

The Walnut and Whitewater are very high. Augusta men than we used to be. OtaelnnatUI follow this young man example. "you are late this morning. What is the civen ui oesi oi sails-I faction.

D. R. DYCHE rhiraaro. ll- is not always somebody at hand with the readiness to note the good things Ohio. Let me tell you how the change came is flooded, stonmnff trains on both roads.

Laura: "How stupid these base ball re Bold bjr DruKKistav about. and preserve them. In its way there is trouble?" "I wor obliged to go to court this where they wor investigating a little occurrence that happened last night." "Well, did they find anything?" "Yes, they fined me." The Santa Fe depot and buildings in the lower part of town are flooded. At Iola all small streams are out of their banks. Tracks are washed 'out, and crops on low ports are! Here it says that 'Mulroy was pounded all over tbe and doesn't say nothing better than the answer given 4k Tb oldest medicine In the world Is probamr what for or who ne was." In a huge block on one of the main streets in the great citytif Chicago the general offices of the Chicago and Over I Dr.

Isaac Thompson's i Aunt Jane: "I guess Mulroy was the um. land ruined. by a Cambridge student who, walking with a visitor, was asked, as the master Welebrated eye watei The sonrnno irentlv liiid her head on the pire." Buffalo Bill's benefit exhibition at Paris, This article Is a carefullr Drenared Phraiclan'a Drei of St. John's passed on horseback, basso's shoulder and went to sleep, and was immediately put out for napping on second base. Who is that?" "That is St.

John's head for tho Johnstown fund, was attended by the Prince and I'rincf ss of Wales and their children. Price Albert Victor and Princesses Maud, Louise and Victoria; Mr. Whitelaw i. i i i i on a charger. better? acriptlnii.anil has been In constant use nearly a century.

OAUTIO.N'. The only ifnutne Thompson's Kj- Titter has upon the whir, wrapper of each bottle an enfc raved portrait of the i Dr. Isaac Thom rsojt with a ftC'tmilf nt his alsnttttire; also a ncte of handi slirned Julin L. Thnmpaon. Avoid all others.

The genuine Eye Water can be tbtalneJ from all Druggists. JOHN L.THOMPSON, TROY, N.Y.) Un De Town: does Van Rennet Well, yes, we must admit that Napier's P. Morton, wife of ice President Morton, dispatch when he had taken Scinde nnd most of the Drominent members of the turn down a side street every time he meets a cow?" Ward McAlabaster: "Sh-h-h! His grand-father was a butcher." American colonv in Paris. As a result of Peccavi (I have sinned) cannot be the performance the sum ot $2,000 was added beaten; although Gen. de Bourmont's When Baby was gave her Caitorla, When she was a Child, aha cried for Castoria, When she became Misa, she clung to Castoria, When aba bad Cbildroo, aha gav them Castoria, tho relict lund.

ASTHSVIA CURED It is when a landlord creeps through the message to the French Minister of War, barb-wire fence that he is almost euro to Uermao AiitumaCureneveryaitetoKivetn-mttiiau relief in the worst ooinfoxi- get his back rent. Better Than Oklahoma. 1,200 acres of the choicest land in tho San euecLs cnruR waere ui ouiern fsJi, 4 inw cunuiricw mm )(( sitmntiai 9 1 PrricrciKts rn bv forBtump. DB.lt. BCHIFrM'AN', St.

Luis Valley, in Southern Colorado, all under fence, water-rights secured and ditches ready for use. It will be sold as a whole or when the dey of Algiers escaped him, was nearly as good. "Perdidi diem" (I have lost a day). Nero, the Roman emperor, is said to have perpetrated a practical pun. He made Seneca's name condemn him "Se neca" (kill thyself).

The unhappy victim had to commit suicide in order to complete the perfection in quantities to suit the purcnaser. is me finfist lnnd in the vallev. and is adapted to )SV b-rjfc'M? I yyr flnd Cure for TRADE ESVSi MARKI Vl rrrXTV renedy for iSZ hosrseness and to either farming or stock-raising, For price, terms, address Hekbx A. Butters, Alamosa, Colorado. Bobby (whose father is a grocer): "Look, ia, what I got for my birthday a regular ittle trrocerv store." His ly): "Oh, yes, that's Bobby: GENERAL MARKETS.

of the joke. The fun of this strikes one RErVlEb PAIN STUDY. Bnok-keeptnir, Arithmetic, Shorthand, thor-taoaht by inall. Low rates. Circulars free.

SHY ANT'S COIJ.EGlS.4ai Main Buffalo. N. X. Kansas City, June 18. and Bugar and spice, and I say, though, Tin.

fbAm nln'f. Tin Ranrl drawerl" as like that of the boys with the frogs. There is a very problematic pun ascribed I0IS8 a day. Pnmplrsworth 1 5 FKEIL Lines not under horsps' ieet. Write "Rrp-wJ CA rTLE-Bbirpinft steert.

8 70 4 20 Range stoeis none offered HOflS Good to choice 4 00 4 17 SHEEP-Oood muttons 8 20 8 70 WHEAT No. 2 red 73 pid to Sir Francis Drake, who, when he saw the Spanish fleet spreud their sails $5 Sheriff's Sale. Smnk. tht Sheriff Silt Sent, a itiaht lOo Hivana It- ster Safsty Rein Holder Mic tv. For Stablemen and Stockmen.

cures Cuts. Swellings, Brains, 8prslns, Galls, Strains, Lameness, SHIntis, Cracked Heels, Soratchu, Oontraotions, riaali Wounds, Stringhalt, Bars Throat, niitsmper, Oollo, Whitlow, Poll Evil, Fistnla, Tornora, Bpllnti, Ringbones and Bpavla In Its early Stagss, Dlrsctlons with each betUs. At Ebuooikts and Dealers. THE CHARLES A. VOGELER Baltimore, Md.

gar for fo. No. sort ma in flight, is said to have sent to Elizabeth the single word "Cantharides," which, S3 everybody knows, is "the K. N. 0.

T. Great statesman: "I have just received a land Railroad are located. Upon the fifth floor of this lofty building is the particular department in which Baldy, myself, and some thirty other men transacted our daily business. From the day I first entered that office, and for three years on, I knew no "let up" in making fun at the expense of Billy Waterman. He was such an odd looking little fellow, and possessed so many personal peculiarities.

First of all, he was as bald as a billiard ball; then his legs were "stubby," so that, although his body and other limbs were of the average size, his general appearance was "squatty besides all this, he was an Englishman with a decided British brogue which furnished unlimited amusement to the boys. He was eo-centric in his habits and possessed a rather irritable temper, which only incited the boys to more joking than they would perhaps have otherwise indulged in. "Baldy's" age was a subject of much curious speculation, and once when, in the unquenchable thirst for a joke at "Baldy's" expense, a hat was passed around to collect written guesses as to his age, the expressions of opinion ranged all the way from nineteen to fifty-five years! As a matter of fact, Billy Waterman was at that time about thirty-four years old. As I have already remarked, no one could surpass me for meanness and cuss-edness in getting up a joke on "Baldy." Sometimes, led on by the general laugh, I know that I carried things too far altogether, and upon one occasion "Baldy's temper -was more than irritated by my behavior; it broke all bounds, and, seizing a heavy glass ink-well, he hurled it at my head, full force. I was stunned at the time, and for a long time carried about a scar to remember "Baldy" by, Of course I knew that it was all my COHN-No.

2 bid OATS No. 2 10 bid RYE No. 2 no bids FLOUR Patents, per Back 2 00 2 10 HAY Ruled 2 50 8 63 letter from my brother. He has failed in business again. No matter what he tries he answering any of these advertisements' please mention this paper.

Spanish fly." But Drake was not a fails utterly. Singular, isn ltf Ordinary Citizen: "Well, if he is too incompetent for 14 lit BUTTEK Choice any trade, business, or profession, why in the world doesn't he go into politics?" Attornet, Wsshinrton, 1J. Wiu. Uir Youa PEN8ION withoutdelsy. JOSEPH H.

HUNTER, CHEESE Full cream BXtG 8 Choice BACON Ham POULTRY Hens likely man to make a pun at any time, and still less likely to invent so elaborate and yet so simple a one at such a moment. All the Year Bound, 0 10! 2 75 8 00 2 0J 1 00 2 25 9 40 noosters Hprinic chickens. Tnrkevs Oregon, the Paradise of Farmer. Mild. Muabl elimiiM.

and abundant crop. Bftft POTATOES Home WHEN LINCOLN AD VARIOLOID. "Speaking about the President and frn tnratii, KTa aod atook ooaat'r In tiie world. Fall ia fomititnfrM. Addraitha Oregon linmljritloD Board, Voraand.

Oregoa. CHICAGO. CATTLE Steer HOUH-Mixed "How much for this picture?" Artist SHEEP-Nntives "The Mice is $5,000." "Why. man alivel FLOUK Winter wheat Do tou exnect to iret naid for your work as 4 40 4 40 4 75 4 50 31 22 8t)5 WHEAT No. 2 red 8 60 fi! 4 8 01 4 25 ft 22'4 15ii II OKN No.

2 though you had been dead four or five hundred years?" OATS-No. 2 the" office seekers-" said ex-Congress man Cumback, "of course where there are three applicants for every position two are going to be disappointed. He can't give them all places. That reminds me, when Lincoln was President he was taken ill, and the doctor told him he had the varioloid. At TO MAKE St" RYE No.

2 BUTTER Choice v.il. ft innltlln n. HTn. A CTAnt, 19 12 Defldous Biscuit' EUliS iVandalla line for cheap tickets east. 11 65 70 ask romt oboces post i.

mi BT. LOUIS. OOW BRAND Boston Ladv: "Bridaet. I wish you would CATTLE Native steers (90 110 Fair to ffood HOGB-Packina refrain from using that coarse and vulgar word, Bridget: "Then what should I say. mum?" "Well, to refined ABSoiurtir pus.

"What is he asked. said the doctor. 'Good said Lincoln; I've SHEEP Fair to chpioe MjOUK fatenta WHEAT No. 2 red ears trousery' is not nearly so offensive." W-'f 8 II) a 4 00 4 10 ft! 4 25 8 00 4 40 4 85 6 4 50 81 HH 8K, 7 50 8 0L 14 16 oo tmm, Mmmm got something now I can give every-, Washington Post. M.

L. THOMPSON Druggists, COKN-No. 2 OATS No. 2 RYE No. 2 HAY Haled 3 Coudersport, say Hall's Catarrh Cure is the best and only Bure cure for catarrh they ever sold.

Druggists sell it, 75c, A mam must feel flat when he must BUTTER EftGS Fresh POllK-Jobbing hang around for a square meal..