The Commercial Bulletin from Lane, Kansas • 3

An Ottawa woman bought a hat Hound Creek Items. The best thing id the news line ummtrml Jtallttfo TO BENT, 160 acres of pasture, for the season. C. P. Crow.

FOUND DEAD IN BED. Last Sunday morning, the family of Frank Weber was horrified tofind that the death angel had come during the nitjht, and had borne away the life of tlieir little aby of two months of age, to that "bourn from whence no traveller returneth" to be among the blest, and with him that "doth all things well" The cause of its sudden demise is unknown. The family has the sympathy of the entire community. S. LATHEN, Painter, Kalsominer Paper-Hanger, LANE, KANSAS.

All work done in artistic maimer and satisfaction guaranteed. Parties desiring work in his line, would do well to call on him. Carriage Painting a specialty. FIGURES WON'T LIE. if our salesmen do.

Here are a few figures tor your consideration. Comforts worth $1,75 lor $1,25. $2,00 $1,85. $1,50 $1,00. $1,25 75.

E.R.Beesoii Co. our Clubbing last. Read this, if you want ami of tit' following papers, come and see vs. can furmsfi any paper cheaper than yon can get it yourself. We do 'this to accomodate you, not to make money.

Tho pri'-e opposite each name, lndioute the subscription price lor one year, inoluiu thO BlTfjTjKTiy. inter-Onean, Chicago. Harper's Mnjrazino, $HM Harper's Weekly, $4.20 Harper's nazaar, $4.20 Harper's Young People, Century, $4.50 St. Nicholas, jg.jfl Ballou's Magazine, fg.se N. Y.

Herald, $3,00 N. O. Picayune, Cricket on tlio Hearth, Ladies' World, 1 i.gs Puck. (Humerous) 14.20 National Tribune, Ji.flo Omaha Bee, Atchison Chamdion, $2,85 N. Weekly News, Youth's Companion, S8.89 fit, Louis Magazine, N.

Y. Ledger, 3.is Satii iday Night, K. C. Times, and when the Milliner presented the, bill to her husband he was dtim- founded, and when he paid for it, it broke his heart. He is now trying to drown his sorrow an strong drink A very delightful social party was held by the ladies only, at the residence of F.

M. Crow, on last Tuesday night. The evening was passed in a very entertaining manner by the family and guests by singing, and pailoramusements. The ladies present were: Mrs. E.

R. Beeson, Mrs. Butts, Mrs. G. S.

Whybark, Mrs. M. Mellen and daughter, Mrs. Sant. De-vore and daughter, Delia, Mrs.

C. P. Crow, Mrs. V. J.

Groves, Mrs. F. Pyle and Misses Fanny and Clara Crittenden. COAL I have just received a car of fine qnality of Illinois coal. Try it and you will use no other.

G. S. Whybark. THE SOWER. Behold a sower went forth to sow, and some of the seeds fell on the good ground, and some fell on the barren ground and behold they all did sprout amazingly and yielded many fold.

And the chief priests and grangers marveled greatly there at, until they found out that the seeds sown were the seeds furnished by Trumbull, Reynolds, Allen and retailed at remarkably low prices by G. W. Covell and the multitude spat on their hands and rushed to that place and bought their garden seeds Ac, so much cheaper than they expected that they marvel unto this day. Act ot Covell, 1st chap. 1st What did the garden "seed?" Ha, ha, they "seed" themselves sold so low at Covell's they remarked, "We are comin down in the world." Report of Lane school for two months ending FeT.

4: Grammar and Intermediate Dep't. No. of pupils enrolled, 4Q. Average daily attendance, 31. Per cent of of attendance, 78.

Names of pupils neither absent nor tardy. James Wright, Hen-drickson, Frank McCain, Eddie Wert, Delia French and Alice Stauffer. Respectfully, Maey E. Lkonakd. A DESPERATE CASE.

flM experiment of Man Who Deserve Public Sympathy. A melancholy man entered a Sixth avenue toy store the other day, and wearily seated "himself on a stool. "Anything I can do for you, sir," asked the clerk. "Yes," sighed the maa; want to die. I am tired ol life.

I want to commit suicide." "I don't think I enn do anything for you," responded the clurk; "we don't keep poison or tiro-arms here." "I don't want either. I have tried then). I have tried everything. This despondency came on me a month or so ago, and since then I have dune nothing but search for death. I went to a skating-rink, got overheated and then went nut-doors without my overcoat Instead of killing mo, this cured chronic vn of bronchi I'm I have had for ten yonrg.

Next I called tho biggest man I knew a liar. He admitted the fact without a struggle. Then I refused to buy mv wife a seal-Skin sacquo, and she did 11 1 whimper. A tew days later, maddmitMi by repeated failures, I drank a tjuiirt of whisky at oe pull, on a wojjor of one hundnsj 'lollais. I won the money without 1 11 niin i' a hair.

You see how I have stiuVrd?" "You have had a hard time, it is true," sympathized the clerk. "That' isn't all," continued the sufferer, with a sigh: "The other day I went hunting, and pulled my shotgun after me over a rail-fence. It was no good. Then I blew into the muzzle to see whether it was loaded. I didn't even snap a cap.

I next tried heroic methods. I got a friend of mine to point a pistol at me that he thought wasn't loaded. The ball missed me by half-an-inch, and broke a seven tv-five dollar pier-glass, dh! I'm wretclied." "Well what can I do for youP" asked the clerk. "I am tired of temporising any longer," said the unhappy man; "I am going to make sure job of it this "How can I assist your" "I want to bay a toy-pistol, and if that doesn't do the work, I shall swallow a pound of dynamite, and sit down on a banana-peel. II this fails me, I hall move into an absolutely fire-proof building, and light the kitchen fire with non -explosive kerosene.

Goodbye!" Puck. A pompouS leilow was dining with a country family, when the lady of the house desired the errant to take away the dish containing the low), which word she pronounced fool, as is tnot uncommon to Scotland. "I wesume, madam, you mean the fowl, said the prig, in a reproving tone. "Very said the lady, a little nettled, "be it so. Take away the fowl, nd let the fool remain." PuUfC Opinion.

this week, is the good rain. Preaching every nigl t. I 'ethel Averil say the cats he killed were polo cats, and the only one that got away was John Y. Drs. Walker and Gause perform-tn a very important surgical operation on J.

W. Wills, this week. Wm. Culbertson went to Paola, Tuesday. B.

E. Morse was at Highland Sunday, visiting. What is the matter with the gentleman who always pricks up his ears so quick when he hears the name of Polecat taken in vain? lie may de ceive himg elf, but he can not deceive other people. Ashby Long, Lucy Paotzman, Nan nie Long and Etta Sneed visited at Squire Kent Sunday. Clarrence Mitchell was on the creek last Sunday- Keno.

Dear Bulletin: I will only write ocasionally from now on. I am a li ttle different from the other corres- ondents in this part of the moral inyard; for I am willing that you may use a part of your dandy paper for your own benefit. I am sorry I made things so hot for Jumbo and Co. that ho had to run off to Missouri. Those that I do not drive ont of the country, I will drive crazy.

I am on to old Sunbeam; he ib easily spotted, Bethel. can pick that old cabbage head out any where, an I'm not so sure about his not being a stinker, for everybody say he is a rotten one, and, he is to stingy that.hejfrequentfy wears a pen, ny out looking at it, and he has been detected placing pants buttons in the contribution box. M. M. Holmes' sale corns off Fri- pay of this week.

Polecat a "bachelor," well that's funny. Why, do'nt you bring yonr voudooisra to your aid, Keno, maybe you could hit it right next time. You may think I am a bachelor, but you cannot convince my wife of it. Too bad that tbe papa of my five children U-an old bachelor. -r'- Our jovial Dick Hussey will soon commence his duties as assessor.

nmbo smashed me with that po etry that he worked on thiee days and nights to compose. He 'remin ded me of a bladder that has been inflate till it could stand no more when, bang, it and, lo and behold, what have? wind! Well, ta, ta, boys, and may you have success in your Polecat hunt Jas. Downining will soon become a "heap big Injun. How! How! Polecat. Miss Stauffer of Lane is rusticating at Mitch Barkers.

Lyceum failed to close last Friday night at tde Vslley. The cotinued cold weather has se nously injured the wheat. There is something very attractiva for Frank Heath. What is it, Frank? Rev. Iller, according to report, will hold a protracted meeting at Quaker church.

J. C. Heiber has been very sick of lung fever, but is now much better Charley Mumford settled all his bills at once. Don't know where he is. Jas.

Downing is preparing to join himself to the red man of the forest, abont the first of Match. Sun beam. Leroy Bates, John and Brom Han- way, Al. Wasson, Geo. Whybark, J.

A. Miles, Smith Lathen, Hosea Gat lin, II. II. Cowan and Adam Loch, comprised a merry crowd that went to Paola, Monday night to attend the K. P.

lodge at that place. They returned well pleased with their trip, and to their credit, be it said "nary" a one of them painted the town blue, We are in receipt of Bradstreets weekly. This is one of the best papers extant, and should be read by every person that desires to become posted upon financial, commercial, political or any other important topic of the day. Come in and subscribe, for we will furnish it to you at publishers prices, $4 per year Jasper Blake returned from Oklahoma Wednesday and is looking hearty, and reports that conntry as being the finest on the footstooL FRANK PYLE, Editor. A.NE, KAN S.

LANE LOCAL DIRECTORY LANE'S SECRET SOCIETIES. t. O. J. ItJit on tU.

Iodalnt Orlur of Oil Vtlhuu. moM ktUW hall every Friday eveulii-. y. m. cbow, n.

a. B. F. Ooookick, Sic, 6. Cow, V.

H. B. AckliT, Tmis. or P. Lane Lodge, number IT, Knights PytJitM, meet lu Miles' hall every Wednesday evening-.

U. K. UoouniCK, C.C. J. J.

Wuitoiid, K. of K. aud 8. Grwiiro Co-Operatiye Association, meets every second and fourth thUurdar evenings In each mouth at Orange Cn. John H.

Sparks, Master. w. J. Ellis, Secretary. 0.

A. K. Oeneroi nauoer trout, number JT1 ttrand Army of the Republic meets the fourth Mtarday evening 1 each mouth at Miles hall' B. HaNDUlCKHOX, P. C.

J. 8. Hhwai, Adjutant LAME'S RELIGIOUS SOCIETIES. af B. Church.

Preaching evory alternate ftvaday momlutf at 11 o'clock, and ovary al- Enate Sunday evening- at 8 clock. Sabbath lool meets every Sunday at P. M. Child-nn and young people, cordially invited, and Si made weloouie. Come.

Kev. j. Williams, Pastor. ehrietian Churoh. Preaching the fourth Bandar In eaoh month, morning and evening.

Sabbath school every Sunday at 10 O'clock, a D. L. Foi.gr, Pastor. i. W.

Coats, Sup't 8abbath School. W. F. M. 8.

Womeni' Foreign Mission Society, meets the first Wednesday in each atouth at the M. B. church. Mas. Mabtha Hbkdricksos, President.

JtlSSOURI PACIFIC RAIWAY. THAIH3 WST. HI Through Freight a- Mail VT, Local Freight 8:18 p.m. toUt Bxpresa TRAINS BAST. Local Freight lis Mall 6:11 P-m- UM Through Freight 10:88 WtehHa Bxprees Qo.

S. WHTBABB. Agent. School again in two weeks. K.

It. Htesou wont to Ottawa laat Wednesday on business. W. S. Davis will soon move to Kansas to reside.

John Zimmerman came in Sunday see riends. Master George MoFadden of Gree ley was here Saturday visiting his sis. ters. Corx Fok Salk at 35 cents per bushel at the crib on my farm. M.

Mellen, Ed. Clark has secured a good po-sition on the Mo. Pac. railroad at Fern Ridge, Mo. Mrs.

John Stewart went to Ottawa last Friday to visit her daughter, Mattie. Rankin Heudrickson was down from Ottawa last week, visiting at uncle Dick Hendrickson's. Only a few inoie of those cheap horse blankats at cost at the Harness Shop. Leroy Bates has completed the Kimball residence, and he report that it is a nice house. J.

T. Long went to Westphalia Wednesday on a trading expedition. Hon. John II. Reagan came nar failing in being elected to Congress, iu Texas, on account of having used a bath tnb.

Bobx. On Tuesday night, to the wife of L. Reed, a boy. The baby is lively and doing well, but the mother at last accounts was quite low. Mr.

J. E. Bonsai, New Bloomficld cierk of th several' courts of Perry was aflicted with rheumatism for more than thirty years. After spending hundreds of dollars with different physicians, and trying every known remedy without benefi he used St. Jacobs Oil effect ed an entire cure CASH GASH Will buy CLOTHING regardless of and quality guarnteed as represented.

E. R. Beesojt Co Fob Salb or Trade. A good, well furnished hotel bnajnes in Ottawa, North side. Will trade for land or stock.

For farther 'parfis'u'ar, enquire at this otfiVe. Jumbo items crowded out this week. S. R. Smith' and lady of Paola ar here on a visit, the guests of Beason.

Oil your harness with Bunker Hill Harness Oil, the best in the world.at the Harness Shop. When jou come to the harnees shop to trade bring your pocket book witn you for my terms are CASH. Your's for harness. W. R.

Cook. Andrew Meador went to Colony last week and secured a position at that place to work in a harness shop. Andy is a good, honest young man and we wish him success. Henry Carter and Clark Lnzadder each purchased a new set of harness last week of our vilage harness maker, Win. R.

Cook. Little John Harvey, departed from home very suddenly, last week. His clothing being gone, his parents have concluded that he has gone to Iowa. P. B.

Plumb and John Ingalls, our gallant senators, are stirring up old England and the democratic party. Ingalls bluffs England and Plumb makes the democrats very hot by his bland humor. Taylor Stewart, one of Cuttler tps. best citizens, called Saturday and en-tertanined us with an hour's pleasant chat. Mr.

Stewart is an enter-prizing citizen. He supports the co. papers, pays his subscription, and is a live man in every sense of the word. Alf. and Dolph Hoag, Ike Brewer, Dr.

Fuller, A. Thompson, Wm. R. Cook and Win. Jenkinson went to Paola Sunday evening to testify in the Tig.

Chamberlain case, but, when they got there, they found out that court had been adjourned for a week on account of the illness of Judge Hind man. Haas' Pbick Dwights soda 4lb for. Oatmeal 2lh package, Fox' corn starch 3 for Cigars, 3 for a nickel, Silver gloss starch 3 for T. Tobacco 2 packs Phoenix Baking Powder 3 gallons of coal oil By Jou Coffee per lb 85cts. 10 20 20 12 38 40 20 Miss Nina Vanzant, the oung la dy who desired to marry Spies, the anarchist who is sentenced to be hanged, being foiled in her attempts tocommit matrimony with the ol ject of her affections, was married last week to him by proxy.

Spies' brotheracting in the capacity of proxy Now, if Spies could manage by some hocus pocus or other to secure some one to act as proxy in the forth coining necktie party, he would be a happy man, and no doubt, he would give said proxy a whole case of dynamite and a barrel of giant powder tor his kindness. Thera is a general misunderstand ing of the marriage laws of the State of Kansas. Most people labor under the niisapprehen that no liceuse can be issued to minors without the consent of parents or guardians of such minors. Such is not tbe case The general statutesof the state places the agesof legal consent at fiif-teen and twelve years for males and females respectfuly, and if any probate judge refuses to grant marriage license to parties over that age he lays himself liable to a fine not to exceed $1,000. Montezuma Chief The grocer stock of Henry Hedges was shipped to Eureka, Tuesday.

It was purchased from Mr, Hedges by F. A. Baker, Eureka, fer C. A. Wilson, of the tame place and w.ll probably go to Severy before it is again shelved.

Plaindealer A NEW SCHEME TO MAKE Y. Try it. Buy it. A chewing TOBACCO lfloz. plug for 35 cents.

R. Beksox Wilson has been shooting Geo. Whybark's snipes and whole cigan, when ever one was in sight, so George loaded one with gun powder, and old Jim. was smoking away like a congressman when "puff" she went, and Jim. looking terribly snuh "What in de debils' de matter wid dat snipe" On lasl Sunday morning the lifeless body of J.

H. McCormic of Wellsville was discovered in his barn in this city. A razor was found by bis side, which leads people to think that it might be a case of self destruction. But as he was in perfect helth, and there being no known cause for it, some are inclined to think that he has been murdersd for his money. Vill.

Watson, one of our best citizens who has been in the South for some time, returned yesterday. He has been in "Arkansaw," but made us promise not to tell it. The first thing he did when he returned was to subscribe and pay for two Bulletin's, for friends in the South. Will, is a boss young fellow and we are glad to note his return. The grandiloquent Senator Vest of Missouri has declared that "five worlds in arms could not whip the United States on her own soil." We are not willing to take the Missouri gentleman's word for it.

This bom bastic language is very like some of the utterances he made twenty three years ago when he was a member of a confederate senate at Richmond, Va. The language he then used was concerning the southern confederacy and we have no reason to believe that his prophesies are any more reliable now than they were at that time. "Have yon a dollar about your old clothes," said a little old man yesterday to 4'ye scribe." "Millions of 'em," we replied with a sardonic grin that looked like a gash in a pnmpkin. "Well, sir" said the 1. o.

m. "I know where you can savo 50 cents on the dollar in buying goods" we "where and how?" Why by buying yonr gro ceries, cigars and garden seeds at Covell's. lie's not only the cheapest, but has the most reliable goods in town. "That's a fact as big as a cart wheel," we said as we sauntered up the streets to try and work up a dog fight, that would cause a team to run off and kill a man that would leave seven children orphans, so that we would have a good news item for the paper. Susan B.

Anthony has swora eter nal vengeance upon Senator Ingalls because of his opposition to the wo man suffrage bill. That settles the future for the fur raiser from Ivans, We advise Susan B. Anthony to take a frevh chew of tobaoco, put a bottle of whiskey in her pistol up her forked tail coat and come home. WESTERN KANSAS. PONDER, THINK And cooccn 109 sections of LAND to SELL, in Pooka, Graham and Ellis Count- ties, at from $3.00 to $8.50 Per Acre.

TERMS: $1.00 Per acre, CASH, balance EIGHT Annual payments. expenses REFUND ED To Buyers.J These lands belong to a company which proposes to give to the buyer and settler every advantage. IF YOU want a HomE in CENTRAL KANSAS ACT QUICKLY! These prices are only for the present Come in and see plat, and obtain other information. Correspondence Solicited. Moorb's Rsalhstatb AdKxcr Greeley, Kansas, PAINFLI.

ACCIDENT. Wednesday morning whilst onr little boy Harry was playing on a work-bench, he fell off breaking his right arm just above the elbow. Dr. Fuller reduced the fracture and the little fellow is doing nicelv at the present, aud w'ill soon be around. PROGRAMME of Young Settlers Reunion at Greeley, afternoon and eue-ninq of Feb.

19, '87. Song, Glee Club. Prayer, Rev Kester. 'Weloome address, Rev. Rorick Glt.e Clnb: Oration, L.

F. Kempton. Recitation, Maud Walker. Essay, Eli Sutton. Present condition of Kansas, by A.

P. Hamilton, of Kincaid. Destiny of the U. S. from a statistical standpoint, by Horace Grant.

Attitude of the different nations toward each other, by J. D. Need-1iam, Lan6. Present Physical changes in the earth, by Prof. Brown.

Closing song, Glee Ciub. This finishes the afternoons exercises, beginning at 2,30 p. m. EVENING EXERCISES. Song, Prayer, Ess-y, Solo." Glee Club.

Ruf us Brooks. Miss DEBATE. Question: Resolved, that the U. S- should not own and control the Railroads within her boundaries. Aff.

8. Shively, of Paola, and Wm. Steele, of Lane; Negative A. F. Harrison and Harry Walker.

Judges Decision. Closing song. Adjournment. UNCLE BAUM "Uncle the famous clothing store man at. Paola, who has the reputation of having sold more and better goods than any other man in the county, for a great many years past, informgb ns that ha is old to to be enqaged in active business, and he proposes to sell his enormeus and elegant stock off at prices that no other dealer can meet; He desires that all parties in this part of the country, that wish anything in his line to call and see him, and take ad-of the grett bargaius he is offerinu.

Friday was a cringing cold day but it moderated Sunday, and Monday we got a dalightfnl rain, sufficient to make plenty of stock water. The frost is nearly out of the ground and spring work will soon begin. SALE BILLS, HORSE can be furnished at this office on very short notice. Bring in yonr bills and we'll give you a free local in the paper..