Jewell County Record from Jewell, Kansas • 4

CO. RECORD. Published weekly by B. M. PALMER.

Cora E. Durkee, of Jewell City, on Tuesday, May 11, 1897. Hockman Grimm have a very pretty variety of cactus in full bloom in their show window, this week, that has been attracting considerable attention. in the post office at Jewell City, aP second class matter. RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION: One year, in $1.00 Friday, May 14, 1897.

MO. PAC. R. R. TIME CARD.

EAST. WEST. 8:40 a. m. -Passenger- 8:00 p.

m. 2:57 p. m. -Freight- 11:40 a. m.

IONIA MAIL. Goes 9:20 a.m. Arrives 6:30 p. m. THE LOCAL NEWS.

Dr. Powell came in from Stockton yesterday to visit his mother. Two more good rains this week. There's no place like Kansas. Cyrus Ashworth returned from Des Moines, Iowa, Saturday night.

The fifth annual alumni reception will be held at the Masonic hall tonight. The Grand Army will meet Friday afternoon to prepare for memorial services. Several of the Mankato teachers and the class of '97 were down to attend commencement exercises. J. P.

Gutelius, of Mankato, and J. C. Baggott, of Ionia, called Monday and cheered the editor's heart by leaving a dollar each. Cabbage, tomato and sweet potato plants at Perfects. 10tf Elder Encell will preach on the unpardonable sin, at the Christian church next Sunday night.

Prof. Ward, of Jamestown, is in town organizing a class in elocution. Mr. and Mrs. C.

Nelson, who reside near Esbon, were down to the Kenyon-Durkee wedding last Tuesday. Mrs. Nelson is the bride's sister. Many of the Beloit and Mankato folks attended the commencement, Wednesday evening. Jewell City's schools have gained a reputation of which we should be proud.

MARRIED--At the home of the bride's mother in this city, Rev. Encell officiating, Mr. Frank B. Kenyon, of Masonville, Iowa, and Miss Cora E. Durkee, of Jewell City, on Tuesday, May 11, 1897.

The Jewell folks have commenced to talk celebration. With a very little expense we could have a good time with an old fashioned fourth of July celebration. What shall we do? The RECORD wishes to make a correction. It was George Seamans, of Calvin who was elected chair. man of the Populist central committee, not M.

D. Ross, who is the retiring chairman. Cullens Bros. 10c circus showed in Jewell City Wednesday. Those who attended the performance say it was worth the price of admission.

The band was considerably on the bum. Miss Lucy Teathers died of consumption, last Saturday, at the home of her sister, Mrs. John Divel, south of town. The funeral serices were held Sunday and the remains interred in the Jewell City cemetery. We hear that Billie O'Rilley will put in a branch barber shop in Jewell City and that a man formerly of Formoso will have charge of the same and do the tonsorial work.

He will be ready to do business on the 20th. Nearly $43 was taken in at the door last Wednesday night, the amount being the largest ever ceived at any commencement since an admission fee has been charged. Theo. Connelly came up from Beloit Wednesday night, and took Mrs. Connelly and the baby home with him yesterday morning.

Rev. J. Garner, of Beloit, stopped off the train at this place last Monday evening. He was on his way to Clyde to conduct fhe funeral service of Elder Boggs who was one of the Arst Christian preachers in this place and was held in high esteem and loved by all. He was 85 years of -Jamestown Optimist.

Elder Boggs had many friends in and around Jewell. Years ago when the Christian church was young he used to occaionally come up and preach for them here. Will Hobbs informs us that he has just made a contract with the Topeka paper company for one year on a salary. He is the only salesman with this house who is drawing a salary. The others' work on commission.

Three members of the class of '97 are ready to graduate again as they received gold watches on commencement night. They are, Miss Wescoatt and Messrs. Heinecke and Edwards. Fourth of July! There will be a meeting in the Knappenberger building, Saturday night, to make arrangements to cel. ebrate the Fourth of July.

If you are interested, come out. COMMITTEE. Rev. Stauber and J. C.

Postlethwaite have been doing business in the eastern part of the state this week. Miss Mary Walker, of Beloit, is prepared to do all kinds of fashionable dressmaking at reasonable rates. Call on her at B. G. Henninger's.

Mrs. Kinkead moved out to the farm of her brother, Allen Robinett, this week, and will keep house for him this summer. Miss Virgie left yesterday, to spend the summer with her aunt, Mrs. Dr. Powell, at Stockton.

M. Bolsten, of Mankato, was in town yesterday, with a stock of house plants from the Clay Center greenhouse. Miss Eva Wescoatt's mother arrived from Wood River, Nebraska, Tuesday, to attend commencement. Mrs. Wescoatt is a sister of Mrs.

George Baker and Elder Babcock. On the first page will be found extracts of five of the orations. The rest will be given next week. Plain sewing done at reasonable rates by Maud Bennett. It is not half as big a job to have a fourth of July celebration in Jewell City now as it was a few years ago when we had to go to Wise's grove to have our fun.

The park has made such a fine growth in the last five years, that no better place could be wished for as a picnic ground. Cabbage, tomato and sweet potato plants at Perfects. 10tf The graduating class paid a visit to the studio of W. C. Dunham on Wednesday and sat for pictures.

Everyone who knows Dunham, knows where good work can be done. Miss Mary Walker does ing at B. G. Henninger's. George Reiter returned to his home near Randall last Friday- He has been at Green Seaver's since his leg was amputated for sarcoma.

Hartman, of the Kansas City paper house, was in town Wednesday, and Hobbs, of the Topeka paper houses was here yesterday. More of those nobby sailors have just arrived at Mrs. Frey's. We received a pleasant call from Elder Thompson and Brother James Tuesday. The elder has received a call from the Baptist church at Jewell City.

He will devote one-half of his time to the church here and one-half to the Vicksburg church. Three one legged beggars were doing the town Tuesday. The Jewell City band has agreed to come to life and furnish music "free gratis for nothing" if we have a Fourth of July celebration this year. Last year the committee had to put up $50 for an imported band and it wasn't any better than the home talent either, so we are told. Several of the Jewell folks drove down to Randall, Tuesday night, to attend the lecture.

E. B. Shores and family will probably return to Kansas sometime during the summer. The Baccalaureate service at the Methodist church on last Sunday was well attended and the services were creditable throughout. The graduating class was escorted to seats by two members of the junior class.

The class is a fine body of young men and women. Rev. Ev. made an eloquent prayer full o- unction. Rev.

Young of the Evanf gelical church, took for the basis of his sermon, "Fear of God is the basis of wisdom." He drew a lesson from the life of Solomon who' made the culties. He reminded the class that they were indebted to their parents for the sacrifices they had made to keep in school. He admonished them of their duties to their country for the institution of the public school system. He dwelt upon the necessity of educating the many. He endeavored to show that they were indebted to the church for the institutions of learning, that the church creates a desire for learning, that science has proved the truth of the Bible, that the incident of Jonah and the whale was true, that education had not the power to conquer sin, that it frequently multiplies devices, in some cases it makes skeptics.

He exhorted the class to make diligent use of opportunities, that he would place a statue dedicated to opportunity in every school house and church in the land. The thought and gist of the sermon was good, with the possible exception that education over led to evil. fear of God the basis of his life. When he was true to that basis he was successful. When untrue he was not.

He complemented the class on their zeal and determination in finishing a course through diffi- The Commencement Exercises. The commencement exercises at the Methodist church on Wednesday night were good from the march "Majestica" to the benediction. The music throughout was frequently encored. Especial mention ought to be made of the vocal solo, "That I alone can know." No extensive criticism of the different orations will be given here as liberal extracts from them will appear in this paper. "Nations on Parade" by Roy D.

Welstead was a creditable production; showed originality and thought; delivered with earnestness; rather rapid and not the finest in articulation. Roy would do well to cultivate the graces. "Science of the Sunbeam" by Eva M. Wescoatt. This was a pretty well composed address, and nicely and unaffectedly delivered.

Articulation and jestures good. The audience was pleased with the ease and grace of the speaker. "Earth's Noblemen" by Will Shafer also showed considerable originality. He showed us that earth's noblemen were not, found in high places alone; that they were found in the mine, in the workshop and on the farm. The orator spoke too fast for good "Unwritten Music" by Pearle Harbison.

This oration had many good things in it. She imitated the music of nature very nicely. If there was too much action it was perhaps due to her subject. It will be proper to say that every movement was graceful. Pearl would do credit to the stage.

"Onward to Thermopylae" by Geo. Schumacher. oration showed fine descriptive powers and the orator made a good appearance on the stage, but his jestures were a little restrained. He depicted the scenes graphically but was a little obscure in his purpose. By some this was considered a good production.

"Shifting Scenes" by Harriette Durkee. This was one of the pretty orations of the evening. The action and jestures of the speaker were natural and graceful. A little more energy and animation would have added to the effect; perhaps a little voice culture would not be amiss. The speaker drew a very pretty picture of the shifting scenes of life.

"Benedict Arnold" by George Edwards. This speaker followed the fortunes of Arnold from birth to death. George handled the subject well; evidently he considered it thoroughly. His descriptive powers are good. His delivery and jestures were not as effective toward the close as at the beginning.

He was roundly applauded. "Lights Old and New" by Nannie Munks was also one of the pretty productions of the evening. She followed the lights from the tallow dip to the electric light. She showed that there was quite as great an advance in political, religious and business lights. Miss Munks might add a little more energy and animation with good effect.

"Columbia Triumphant" by Walter Heinecke was one of the good things of the evening. The orator showed the steady progress of American thought. The only thing will keep Walter from becoming a good speaker is a certain raspiness of voice that can in time be overcome. He injected life and energy into his address. A little lower key, Walter.

"Priceless Gifts" by Alfreda Welstead. This subject was well developed and the speaker charmed the audience by her ease and grace; nome people are graceful i in thought as well as in movement. The class each and every one did well. They have reason to be proud of themselves and each other. It would be difficult to pick out the best production of the evening.

No one excelled in everything and no one fell below in everything. it would be about right to say that they are a pretty evenly balanced class. The opinion of the writer as to the merits of the productions is not indicated by his criticism. Rev. Encell presented the diplomas in a happy vein.

We think it proper to mention that the orchestra under the direction of Dr. Wesselowski added much to the entertainment of the evening. REPORTER. Mr. and Mrs.

Foster expect to take an outing in a prairie frigate before long, visiting Minneapolis, Jewell City, Mankato and other points, for health and to visit old friends and. neighbors. -Rooks County Journal. The Morris Portable Fence. We take pleasure in calling the attention of the public to our improvment in the fencing line.

Our portable fence is the cheapest, most durable and handy -purpose fence of any now in use, and we invite you to examine the same. We are not afraid to let the fence stand on its own merits as it has been used and its advantages are known. Every one who has seen the fence speaks loudly in its praise. We desire to dispose of a large amount of territory in the near future, and will make good inducements to good, live, reliable men to take hold of the business and push the sales. For further information and particulars, call on or address, JOHN R.

MORRIS, 10tf Randall, Kan. Kansas Farmer and REcORD one THE CORRESPONDENTS. NORTH SIDE ITEMS. at Bowman The wheat fields in this locality are a beautiful sight, to gaze at. It is reported that the Sills house, north of town, was struck by lightning during one of the recent storms.

Myrtle and Pearl Corbitt attended Sunday school at Victory last Sunday. George Edwards is one of the boys that graduate, this year, from this vicinity. Mr. Bell finished listing corn last week. We commenced cultivating corn the 11th inst.

What has become of the chinch bugs? These late rains must have made them sick and caused them to to die. Robert Jones, in company of some of the Jewell City boys, took a trip down to Randall, last Friday, to see what is left of that city since the fire. Phillip Bohnert and Will Haegart finished listing this week. Granger, of the Republican, in his farewell, says, "Jewell county has the best soil, the best prospects for the future, and as a rule, the best people on the globe." Now George, that's good. An eleventh hour confession is better than none.

Judging from the political complexion of our county officials, it is very evident that a majority of the people in the county are Populists. These Pops, as you have often called them, are among those and a part of the very people whom you and the leaders of your party have heretofore referred to as anarchists and repudiators. But it seems that you have repented and these people whom you have in the past so basely slandered, you now refer to, "as a rule the best people on the globe." Now, Mr. Granger, please write once more and duly apologise to "these best people on the globe" for your past viciousness and almost unpardonable cussedness, and if the apology is of the right kind, you may be forgiven. THOMAS QUIGGLE.

ELDER GROVE. Miss Maud Osborne has been helping Mrs. Rowe for a week. She started to Goodland on Thursday morning where she will spend the summer with her parents, entering the Jewell school again next year from which she will graduate. Willie Sluyter has gone to Illinois.

Ernest Rowe and Ernest ley refuse to be comforted. Miss Jennie Abrams has been helping Mrs. Seeley clean house. She will help Mrs. Rowe next week.

Mrs. Johnson, Miss Maud Osborne and ourself partook of an excellent dinner at Mrs. Sluyter's on Tuesday. Miss Mamie Fay and Editor B. M.

Palmer and wife were pleasant callers on Sunday. The Sunday school at Victory is progressing nicely. Several in this neighborhood finish planting corn this week' Robert Wildman has sent his herd to the Blue Hills to pasture. Jewell City and vicinity was well represented in Randall Sunday afternoon. Several of our East Buffalo friends showed us that they had not forgotten us, by calling on Saturday.

ITEMS FROM IONIA. Bert Dusenberry's cattle sold for $5.20 in Chicago. Only one bunch brought a higher price than his. Dr. Bundy has fitted up an office one door west of postoffice.

Oll Ingram goes, Monday, to work for Frank Wallace near Jewell. The Advocate can congratulate itself upon securing Miss Forrest for its Jewell correspondent once more. Ionia will soon boast of a Fitzsim mons. The boys have received their boxing gloves. Maggie Dougherty is quite sick.

Most of the farmers will finish listing this week. The RECORD grows better and better with each issue. It is one of the most welcome visitors on our table EMO. MAYVIEW DISPATCHES. Many of the farmers in this vicinity have finished planting corn.

J. L. Anderson sold his fat cattle to Mr. Baker last week. Quite a few young folks from around Mayview attended the commencement at Jewell Wednesday evening.

There will be a convention held at Mayview the 27 and 28 of May. Mrs. W. H. Jordan is on the sick list this week.

Elder Encell will preach the memorial address at the Mayview church May 30. S. Moshier has had a very painful hand for the past week. Elder Babcock preached a very interesting sermon last Sunday evening, PANNE MANKATO SCRAPS. Bowman Carroll is out of a job.

Clay Hawley, who left Jewell Co. for greener fields two years ago, is back again to live in Jewell county. Mankato has a musical union, the result of Bridges musical effort here. The Lowe twins are fixing up a peanut stand just south of Jackson's barber shop. Lots of the boys have had their "bumps" felt of by the phrenologist at the John's house.

"It's unconstitutional." That's the way all legislation is decided unless it suits the Republican corporation judges. Faris, the barber, has sold out to George Trump. Buck Smith has covered his large corn crib. The new tariff bill raises the price of all articles used by the poorer classes, about twenty five percent more than those used by the rich. The shows are coming.

The small boy is happy. Mankato sent a large delegation to Jewell's commencement. Harry Sturtevant will rent a house if he can find one and stop in Mankato awhile. A young lady by the name of Mizner was brought before Judge Kramer, last Monday, on the charge of insanity. The jury rendered verdict of saneness and the girl was married a few minutes later.

Her father was the complainant. The good laws passed by the late legislature in opposition to the greed of corporation, are being pronounced unconstitutional by the Republican judges. A difference of opinion exists in Ohio among Republican leaders, as to the result of the election had it been a month earlier or a month later. In either case say Bryan would have been elected. The majority of the legal fraternity of Mankato went to Concordia, Wednesday, to attend the appellate court session.

County Sup't Convis attended a "tackey" party in Burr Oak, Tuesday evening. Jeff Stanfield thinks of locating in Courtland soon. There was great excitement on the streets of our city, Tuesday evening, in which Att'ys Kirkpatrick, R. W. Turner and George Washington Georgia all participated.

It was a heated discussion over "cat All phases of the subject will be heard before the bar later on. Jones Williamson, the Burr Oak grocer, was on our streets Wednesday. The strawberry social at the U. B. church, Tuesday evening, was a success.

Editor Honey, of the Advocate, Sundayed in Concordia with the queen bee. He is talking of buying a hive in Mankato. HULDA JANE. STAR ITEMS. Frequent showers and cool nights.

All crops doing well except corn, which looks a little yellow. Horace Furey was first to finish planting corn in this neighborhood. Others will finish this week. Sam Robb was at Webber the last we heard. Those grandchildren have a strong hold of Sam's affection.

Wm. Bowers lost a fine calf Tuesday morning. Mrs. Chas. Lee is raising squads of little ducks.

Mrs. Rob't Walker who was injured in the runaway we mentioned last week, is doing as well as could be expected. We were very sorry to hear of our former neighbor, Mr. Milholland, getting kicked by a horse. G.

W. Angel and Miss E. J. Angel spent a day with us last week, and took the boys to the Buffalo for a fish. Angel always makes the boys feel at home in his company.

Onions, radishes, asparigus, pieplant and lettuce help to make a balanced ration. Were they ever 80 crisp and tender as this spring? As old Mrs. Partington says, they produce an "equilabraham" of of the system and save a doctor's bill. Mrs. Roles is convalescent after two month's illness.

A good many horses are having the distemper. Mr. and Mrs. Bowers called, Tuesday morning, on their way to Jewell. Come when you can stay longer, is the wish of AUNT ELLEN.

Round trip tickets to Nashville, Tenn. will be put on sale Tuesday, May 4th and on every subsequent Tuesday thereafter until Oct. 26, 1897, at the low rate of $26.45 for the round trip, good for 20 days from date of sale, on account of great Tennessee Centennial and International Exposition. For further particulars inquire of A. V.

Sandborn, Ag't Mo. Pac. R.R. Ladies' calling cards, and wedding stationery very cheap at this office. Very fine samples.

$1.76 for two Rescues. BROWN'S CREEK GLEANINGS. Brown's Creek has reason to be proud of its representatives in the commencement exercises at Jewell last Wednesday evening. Thayer Palmer says he shot the last goose of the season while hunting Tuesday afternoon. Wyland has been very sick this week.

Miss May Schoonover is staying with them. Dr. Hughes was called out to see Bert Andress last Tuesday. A great many of the farmers finished listing this week. Mrs.

C. Palmer and Miss Mable Andress took dinner with Mr. Brunnemer's Thursday. The reading circle was last week on account of commencement. The next meeting will be next Monday evening at Mr.

Schaffer's. The social at Mr. Cason's last Tuesday night is reported a success. The young people are planning for a party at Mr. Bennett's near Bethel next Saturday evening.

PANSY. Typewriter paper, memo size, at this office. MIDDLE BUFFALO. Busy? Well, yes at present. The ground is a little hard in some places.

Some sun of a gun got our RecORD last week. Phil Bohnert is the first to finish planting corn. We hear John Gundy is expecting some feeding cattle from Kansas City. Wm. Edwards is feeding a bunch of cattle in his big pasture.

John Lingo and family partook of ice cream at C. R. Coles last Sunday. The most of this creek will be through planting corn by the time this is being read. John Kemmerer sold his surplus alfalfa hay to the men who feed the cattle east of the fair ground.

On account of too much alfalfa, W. S. Brewer has had to perform a few surgical operations. One patient died and another jumped up and ran away with his knife. Pat Fay put a number of cattle in Fred Weseman's pasture last Saturday.

George Hitz, W. S. Brewer, Beginner and families visited Samuel Elyea's last Sunday, and Sweetbrier, there was just one thing that kept us from attending Hillsdale Sunday big freezer full of ice cream. A man trying to ride a lister over "washouts" and "fillins" that are smoother after being listed than before, don't have much news, and if he was to write his thoughts sometimes, it wouldn't look good in print. BEGINNER.

Fourth of July comes on Sunday this time. An exchange says, "every paper in the state should publish the fact that burnt corn on the cob is good for hog cholera. It was first discovered by burning a pile of corn belonging to a distillery. It was thrown to the hogs and the disease immediately disappeared. It is so simple a remedy that it can eaily be tried." Topeka Advocate, Senator Peffer's paper, and RECORD, both one year for $1.50.

DRS. HUGHES SUTCLIFF, OFFICE IN M'CLUNG BLOCK, Jewell City, Kansas DAVID L. PALMER, ATTORNEY -AT- LAW, NOTARY PUBLIO. .11 In stone building west side Public Square. Jewell City, Kansas ELY REED, THE BARBERS.

Razors ground and honed. Scissors sharpened. Razors and toilet articles. JEWELL CITY, KANSAS. CHAS.

THE Stone Mason! All kinds of stone work. Cistern work. All kinds of rock furnished dressed or undressed. All work guaranteed. (Jewell City, Kans.

OFFICIAL DIRECTORY. Betts. Constables, Wm. Hively and Milton Betts. CITY OFFICERS.

Mayor, A. Kuns. Clerk, H. A. Schulenberg.

Treasurer, J. O. J. Laffer. Judge, Wesselowski.

Marshal, D. C. Cluster. (E. D.

Fisher. A. S. Clelland. Councilmen.

H. C. Perfect. J. C.

(Ruben Henninger. SCHOOL BOARD. Director, Newton Kreamer. Clerk, W. C.

McClung. Treasurer, I. M. Hockman. Principal of schools, S.

H. Sanford. DISTRICT OFFICERS. Congressmen 6th N. B.

McCormick. State Senator 33d A. S. Cook. Judge of 15th Cyrus Heren.

Representative 86th J. S. Farrell. COUNTY OFFICERS. Probate Judge, G.

R. Kramer. Coutny Att'y, G. H. Bailey.

Dist. Court, James Livingood. Sheriff, H. C. Boden.

County Treasurer, Wm. Campbell. Clerk, Finley Yinger. Register Deeds, J. F.

Hale. Supt. Pub. E. A.

Convis. Surveyor, J. W. McIntyre. Coroner, Dr.

Duncanson. Co. Physician, Dr. Thos. Kirk.

John Rychel, 1st Dist. Commissioners, Melborg, 2d Dist. A. E. Ensign.

Dist. Republican officer in above list. TOWNSHIP OFFICERS. Trustee, D. A.

Brackett. Clerk, F. W. Bevington. Treasurer, J.

0. Latter. Justices of the peace, J. E. Stidham and E.

CHURCHES. EVANGELICAL CHURCH. 7:30 p. Preaching m. Sanday every school at 10 a.

m. Prayer meeting Weduesday night. Young People's prayer meeting Friday night. REV. J.

K. YOUNG, Pastor. CATHOLIC at 10 CHURCH. a. m.

of Services each every month, second ducted by Father Dragoun, of Cuba, Kan. BAPTIST Prayer CHURCH. meeting each Sunday alternate school at Sunday. 10 a. S.

COFFMAN, sup't. M. E. at CHURCH. and Preaching 7:30 p.

m. every Epworth Sunday League 6:30 p. m. Prayer meeting Thursday evening. Young people's prayer meeting Tuesday evening.

REV. B. T. STAUBER, Pastor. CHRISTIAN CHURCH.

Preaching every Lord's Day at 11 p. m. and 7:30 p. m. Endeavor at 6:30 p.

m. Sunday school at 10 a. m. Prayer meeting Wednesday evening. ELDER J.

G. ENCELL, Pastor. GEMS OF THOUGHT. It is huge folly rather to grieve for the of others than to rejoice for that good which God hath given us of our Taylor. Despise not any man, and do not spurn anything.

For there is no man that hath not his hour, nor is there any thing that hath not its place.Rabbi Ben Azai. To do great hurt, some genius, some knowledge, some talents, in short, natural or acquired, are necessary; less, indeed, far less, than are required to do good, but always -Bolingbroke. Grace leads the right way; if you choose the wrong, take it and perish, but restrain your tongue; charge not, with light sufficient and left free, your wilful suicide on God's Science is astruly a revelation of God as is the Bible, only in another form: Those who stand at the gates of nature, and seek and find and bring forth his great truths and powers to bless a world are worshipping at the altars of the Most Thomas, Creation is not merely an apparatus for manufacturing suns and earths; producing crystals and plants and animals with red blood and nerve threads. It is also an apparatus for producing souls--beings that can exercise selfknowledge and self-direction, read the signs of their Maker's presence, learn His will, and feel themselves his children and heirs of His kind of life.Rev. Charles G.

Ames. Death is a very successful teacher of that faith we all long to possess--the conviction of the unseen. We may play with the arguments against other life when our affections are neutral, and may even pretend that the case is not proven. Let one of our flesh and bid us good-by and pass within the vell, and reason surrenders the place of love. A young child with Christ does more to illuminate the other world than all the books that ever have been written, and it has often come to pass that at the touch of this unseen hand hard' and sceptical men have arisen and set their faces towards God, for the hope of seeing again a golden head on which the sun was ever Maclaren.

DEAN SWIFT'S CYNICISMS. No wise man ever wished to be younger. I have known men of great valor cowards to their wives. It is a miserable thing to live in suspense; it is the life of a spider. Most sorts of diversion in men, children and other animals is an imitation of fighting.

If a man makes me keep my distance, the comfort is that he keeps his at the same time. We have just enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another. Some men, under the notion of weeding out prejudices, eradicate virtue, honesty and religion, The chameleon, who is said to feed upon nothing but air, hath, of all animals, the nimblest tongue. The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires is like lopping off our feet when we want shoes. The claim is made that out of 78,000 troops in India, 24,000 are total abstainers and enrolled in the Indian Army Temperance association.

DRAMATIC DRIFT. "Bohemia," the play which Clyde Fitch has adapted from the French, has made a hit at the Empire Theater under the direction of Charles Frohman. Daniel Frohman is going to manage Edward H. Sothern again next season Mrs. Potter's interpretation of Juliet In "Romeo and Juliet," is meeting with favor in New York.

John J. Burke, the well known eccen: trie comedian who was so much in denice in the Henderson extravaganza 18 now in a farcical creatiaf entitled, "The Doctor," and is to be moating with PERSONS.