The Plains Journal from Plains, Kansas • 6

Local News. Liberty Items. Southweft of Plains. Wheat harvesters arc getting PECK'S BAD BOY IN AN, AIRSHIP By HON. GEO.

W. PECKS busy. Miss Bertha Cavinee is quite poorly. Gus Bayha is harvesting with John Kirk. Miss Verona Thompson- has Acquires a Few Foster Mothers I have 125 head of 2 and 3 year old stock heifers for sale.

34tf. G. J. King. "See John W.

Baughman for first class investments in farming and city properties." Leon Bethel and Raymond Murphy, of Santa Fe, were in Plains on business one day i this week. Elzer Ratcliff, Post Master at Taw, and son Floyd, were 'in Plains Thursday, laying in supplies for harvest. Miss Mable Glenn, who has been visiting in Plains the past few weeks, returned to her home in Wichita, Monday. Save $2.00 by paying your telephone rent one year in advance. 34 Plains Tele.

Co. i Mrs. E. L. Pepper and two children, of east Haskell left on No.

4 Thursday morning, to visit her mother who resides at Conway Springs. Mrs. Sarah McCreary and (Copyright. 1908. by W.

G. Chapman.) the Whooping cough. A good rain Tuesday night, corn is looking fine. Clyde Robbins helping the Miller brothers. "Bee John W.

Baughman for iut class investments in farming and city properties. Air. Stevens and Ben Kelley are hilping the Light Brothers during harvest. Mr. and Mrs.

E. Condit from Miami are visiting their daughter, Mrs. A. Holbert, and family Miss Alice Wilson is staying With Mrs. H.

V. Thompson while H. V. is helping Alvin Siinonson in harvest. little Leon Frost, returned, Wed nesday, from a visit in Haskell accompanied by Mrs.

McCreary 's brother and 'sister, Frank and Mary Frost. (Copyright in Great D-ltaln.) paring to bring in the banquet Pd said to me: ''Hennery, let this be a lesson to you. Don't ever try to be smart, and don't be a masher under any circumstances, 'cause you see what it has brought me to. When you get back to America tell Roosevelt that I died for my country." Well, they brought In the wedding feast, and all the wives helped me and Pa, and Mr. Hagenbach, and the cow boy that throws the lasso, and the foreman, and we ate hearty, and all was going smooth when there was a commotion at the door of the tent, and in came the former husband, who had come out from under the influence of the chloroform, and he was crazy and had a club.

He had been told of his death, and the marriage of 'his wives to the old man who owned the gas bag, and he wouldn't have it that way. He knocked some of his wives down and some fainted away, and then he started for the man who had usurped him in theTaffections of his 60 wives. Pa was scared and started to crawl under the tent and escape into the jungle, when I saw that something had to be done, so I got right in front of the crazy husband and looking him square in the face, I began to chant, "ene-mene-miny-mo, catch a nigger by the toe," and before -I got to the end of the first verse, the great giant said: "Maybe you are right," and he fell to the earth in a fit, probably from the effects of the chloroform, but everybody thought I had overcome him by my remarks, and then they jumped on the husband and held him down while Pa escaped, and for Pa's safety they put him In a cage next to tr newly acquired tigers and lions, who were cross and ugly, but Pa said he had rather chance it with them than with that craay husband who had aceused him of alienating the: affections of his CO wives. The next day everything was fixed up with the husband of the 60 wives, his toothache was cured, and he quit being mad at Pa, and we all went to a river about a mile from damp to catch a mess of hippopotamuses. The usual way to catch the hippos is to let negroes go out in boats and give the hippos a chance to swim under the boats and tip them over, and after they had eaten a few negroes they would come ashore and lie down in the.

mud or a nap, and they could be tied to a wagon and hauled to the cages. Pa was to superintend the boat excursion, because the hippos would not eat a white man. Pa forgot that he was made up like a negro, and so he went in the first boat, with six negroes who had been purchased at $5 apiece for hippo bait. When the boat got out in the middle of the stream, and the hippo heads began to pop up out of the water, with a "look who's here" expression on their open faces, Pa turned pale which probably saved him, for when the boat was upset, and the hippos took their pick of the liegroes, and the water washed the pokeberry juice-off Pa he was as white as the drioen-enoro, and when the nearest hippo got his negro in his mouth and start' ed for the shore Pa climbed on his back and rode ashore in triumph, grabbing the husband of the 60 wives by the arm and pulling him on board the hippo, and saving his life, and right there in the mud, while the hippos were eating their breakfast ol cheap negroes, that husband told Pa he felt so under obligation to him tbat Pa was a hero after capturing the two tigers and the lion after they had Inhaled gas from the gas bas of the air ship, because the crowd didn't know how It was done. Everybody thought Pa had scared the wild animals with the airship until they were silly, and then hypnotized them, and got them into cages, but when the wild came out from under the influence of the gas and began to raise the roof, and bite and snarl, the whole camp was half scared to death, and they all insisted on Pa going to the cages and quitting them by his hypnotic eye, but Pa was too wise to try It on wild animal3, and he had to confess that it was the gas bag that did the work, and they made Pa fix up a gas bag undor the cages and quiet the animals, uad when the employes of the expedition found that Pa was not so much of a hero as he pretended, Pa was not so much of a king as he had been, except in the minds of the African negroes who wrere at work for us.

That old negro who had GO wives fairly doted on Pa, and the wives thought Pa was the greatest man that ever was, and the wives fairly got struck on Pa, and wanted to take turns holding Pa In their laps, until the giant (husband of the 60 big black females got jealous of Pa, and wanted to hit him on the head with a war club, but Pa showed him a thing or twb that made him stand without hitching. The black husband had a toothache and asked Pa to cure him of the pain, and Pa had him lie down on the ground, and he put some chloroform on a handkerchief and held it to the man's nose, and pretty soon the negro was dead to the world, and the wives thought Pa had killed their husband with his mighty power, and they Insisted that Pa marry the whole 60 wives. Pa kicked on it, but Mr. Ha-genbach told Pa that was the law in tha't part of Africa, and that he would have to marry them. I never saw Pa so discouraged as he was when the oldest wife took his hand and said some words in the negro dialect, and pronounced Pa married to the whole bunch, and when they led Pa to the man's tent, followed by all the wives, half of them singing a dirge for the dead'husband, and the other half singing a wedding hymn, and Pa looking around scared and trying to get away from his new family, it was pathetic, but all the hands connected with the Hagenbach expedition laughed, and Pa disappeared in the tent of his wives, and they hustled around to prepare a banquet of roasted zebra and boiled rhinoceros.

We went to the tent and looked in, and Pa was the picture of despair, seated in the middle of the tent, all the female negroes petting him, and hugging him, and dressing him in the African costume. They brought out loin clothes that belonged to the chloroformed husband and made Pa put them on, they blacked his- arms and legs and body with some pokeberry juice, so he looked like a negro, and greased his body and tied some negro hair on his head over his bald spot, and by gosh, when I saw Pa transformed into a negro I looked at myself in a mirror to see if I had turned to a negro. I held the mirror up to Pa so he could see himself, and when he got a good look at the features that had always been his pride, he shed a few tears and said: "Booker Washington, by gosh," and when the wives were pre- Looking Him Square In the Face, I Began to Chant, "Ene-Mene-Miny Mo." i Mrs. Len Sullivan and Mrs. Ed Woods of Liberal, Kans.

were visiting at the J. N. Brown home last Sunday. Miss May belle Angeli of i Plains, and Mr. John Spur-geon Lawson of Keltner, were married at the office of pro-j bate judge Randolph in Meade, Insure your corn, kafir corn and maize against hail.

1 Otto Reimelt was down this week, from southeast Haskell Co. to get a load of lumber for the new Catholic church, in his neighborhood, which is rapidly nearing completion. Owen Willet of southeast Haskell came in Wednesday with his cousin, Miss Lyn-nie Noah of Sherman, Tex. Miss Noah, who has been here the past year in- search of better health, returned home greatly benefitted by her visit here. Saturday, June 26, 1909.

They were accompanied by Mr. Chas. Coats and Miss Rose Angeli as witnesses. Mr. and Mrs.

Lawson will visit near Plains for A itiuuut uiunuj, uiter wiJicn inp.v will go to their home in Keltner, Okla..