Neodesha Daily Register from Neodesha, Kansas • 2

Neodesha Daily Register, F. W. BADGER, Publisher. NEODESHA, KANSAS Mark Twain seems to have acquired the telegraph habit. Mary Mac Lane's prolonged silence looks ominous.

A book may be impending. Jeffries announces his intention to kill Corbett. Let Corbett make a double event of it. A woman had rather be judged by style of her pompadour than the size of her cerebrum. A Chicago man advertises a new remedy for sleeplessness.

Moving to Philadelphia, probably. The man who forged the name of J. P. Morgan to checks knew how to dodge working a blind lead. "Fine people, fine country," says Dr.

Lorenz, speaking of America. Sentiments reciprocated, doctor! If China can succeed in getting a gun for each of her citizens she will worry the powers into a compromise. One of the best ways not to succeed in life is to spend your spare time reading articles on how to succeed in life. The question of who founded Rome isn't half so interesting as the identity of the gentleman who made her howl. Why should a man adopt the profession of burglary when the get-richquick game will catch a sucker every minute? Pope Leo has written a poem on the best means of prolonging life.

The name of his favorite breakfast food is not divulged. Cole Younger announces that he will go into the stock raising business in Texas. Cole should do well at cattle lifting. The banishment of so many American dentists from the capitals of Europe will cause a frightful epidemic of toothache at court. If Washington were alive he might feel like trading his hatchet for a hammer and going out after some of the sons of his country.

The Mississippi flows through a land of plenty--at least the scientists affirm that the water is supporting a population of 4,000,000 to the cubic foot. Admiral Dewey's personal share of the Manila prize money may not be very large, but it will be enough to buy Mrs. Dewey another sealskin sack. Chamberlain is on his way home from South Africa. He admits that he is wiser than before he started on the trip, but he doesn't profess to be any happier.

The insurgents have won a battle in Honduras. Reliable estimates place the loss of the government forces at one donkey and a bunch of bananas. Even the organization of a gamblers' trust can not change the number of fools born each minute, as the ratio is fixed by the immutable laws of nature. Even if the bill to make the currency more elastic should become a law, we should continue LO rubber at a new 20-dollar note just as hard as at present. The turf investment companies and the insurance sharks have divided territory in New York.

One goes after the common people and the other after the corporations. On account of the sorrows of the famished sardine fishers of Brittany, Bernhardt played the title role in the "Sorrows of Werther," and a very sad affair it must have been. Two more French deputies have made arrangements to fight a duel. French deputies are kept 80 busy fighting duels that they must have precious little time for political bossing. British naval gunners have been making some good target practice of late.

But, as the Irish duellist said, hitting a mark and hitting a man with a pistol in his hand are two different matters. The Frankfurter Journal, which began publication in 1673, has suspended. Anything that has become so generally identified with free lunches could not well hope to be a financial success. Cupfrojales John T. Mason, 74 years old, a veteran of the civil war, was heard duringthe night singing "While We Were Marching Through Georgia." Next morning he was found lifeless in his bed, his eyes wide open.

A physician who was called stated that the old man must have died about the time the song was heard by the others in the Tribune. HIS LAST NOR Bring the good old bugle, sing another song He beard the far-off chorus as his cOmrades marched along; He heard the clank of saber, a and the jangling bit and spur, The rumbling of the cannons, where his shouting messmates were; He heard the hurried hoofbeats of the horses mettlesome: And high above he saw the flag that beckoned him: come!" He saw them kalong the road -not Ah saw the goyish ranks of 3 gray and bent. his old regiment. With rhythmic tread it held its line, with fifers piping shrill; He saw the ragged colors, that were way. ing to him still; And.

calling -calling-calling, came the rolling of the drum: "Fall in! Fall in for dress, The ranks are waiting. (Come!" The line wheeled when it- neared him, and as in the light of noon He saw the forms of comrades who across the South were strewn; He saw the brave companion who had battled by his sideThe tears welled up again just as they did the day he died. Then, "Halt!" the sounded, and he heard his wartime chief Call is the kindest, clearest tones: "This in his last relief1" March TEN on! The was waving and, the soldiers marched away; And he went singing) with themn, far be-" The yond the Gates of Day, bugles pealing gladly and the line with no more gapsThe bugles son of "Taps." singing sweetly in that And fifes were mad drums and merry, and the For he were laughing, too, marched beside the led colors as he the grand review! Maine Troops at Gettysburg. On the opening day of the Maine Grand Army of the Republic Encampment in Bangor, Commander Edward C. Milliken made a reminiscent address in the course of which he said: "Perhaps the battle of Gettysburg furnished as great examples of heroic bravery and daring as any during the whole war.

"There were fifteen Maine organizations that participated in this great battle. The first day on Seminary Ridge Hall's Second Battery and Col. Tilden's Sixteenth Infantry did terrible, execution, fighting like demons. The Sixteenth lost nearly all its men in killed, wounded and prisoners. "Down in the Peach Orchard we find Col.

Lakeman with the Third Maine; at the Devil's Den, Col. Walker with the Fourth Maine. At both these places the fighting was fierce and heavy. "On the Wheat Field was Lieut. Col.

Merrill with the Seventeenth. This regiment, with its wings uncovered, and with no support, held a whole rebel horde at bay for a time until reinforcements came. Now go over to the Clump of Trees and along the stone wall to the Bloody Angle and you find Col. Heath with the Nineteenth. This regiment was on this line all the second and third days' fight, did bloody work, and helped to repulse Pickett's charge.

"Now we drop over to Little Round Top, on the extreme left of our line of battle, and here we find Col. Joshua L. Chamberlain with the Twentieth. This regiment was charged by four times its number of rebels; charge upon charge was made, and the old Twentieth was as firm as the rocks on which they stood, and finally drove the rebels back. Also on Little Round Top was Capt.

McClure with Company sharpshooters, who did excellent service. On a knoll at the foot of Culp's Hill we find Capt. Stevens with the Fifth Battery. "On our extreme right was Col. Smith with the First Cavalry, and near the Peach Orchard Lieut.

Dow with the Sixth Battery; Col. Edwards of the Fifth, Col. Burnham with the Sixth and Col. Selden Connor with the Seventh, were on our left center. The most of our Maine organizations pure found right where the hardest fighting was done, and they did heroic battle and lost about half their numbers.

"Comrades, the Union Army, consisting first and last of nearly 000 men, was such an army as was never before raised, and probably never will be again. The Grand Army of the Republic is practically a continuation of that army. It stands alone among the organizations of the world. There has never been one like it, there is only this one now, and there will never be Herald. "When Christmas day came in 1861," said Dr.

A. W. Gray, "our regiment, the Fifty-first Illinois, was at Peducah. There was no Christmas dinner in sight. There was no prospect of any, and the boys used to that sort of thing were very blue.

At that stage of the war Uncle Sam was over ticular as to the property of the people in the vicinity of camps. Strict guard was kept over camp as well as over the houses and hen roosts in the vicinity. If we could get out of camp into the town or into the country we felt confident that we would have chickens, if not turkeys, for Christmas dinner, but between us and the chickens was a line of guards, and not one of us had the countersign. "With the countersign the way was open to a Christmas dinner, and as chairman of the committee of ways and means I suggested a plan to get it. I got hold of an old cavalry sword the night before Christmas, and, adjusting the belt SO that the sword made a good deal of noise when I stepped, I formed a dozen or more of the boys as we usually formed a patrol guard, and when we heard the real patrol coming I stepped out in the thick darkness and shouted, "Halt!" The officer in charge of the patrol answered my challenge in the usual way, saying that he was a friend with the countersign.

He was directed to come forward and give the countersign, which he did. I could not see his men, and he could not see mine, but he supposed naturally that I was on patrol duty. The outcome was that, with the countersign, we went through the guard line, found a goodly number of chickens, and had a good Christmas Inter Ocean. The Proposed Lee Statue. Grand Army men throughout the country seem to be opposed to paying honors to Lee.

The movement against this started in Washington some weeks ago, and it is becoming general. Grand Army posts of New York city and of Scranton, have adopted resolutions condemning the erection of statues. Massachusetts posts have taken no formal action yet, but it is generally understood that they will discountenance the movement at the next encampment. Only a few years ago it was proposed to erect a statue on the battlefield at Gettysburg in honor of Lee, but as those having the matter in charge insisted on an inscription which praised the patriotism of the Confederate leader, the Gettysburg association would not allow the statue to be placed on the grounds. American's Sacred Shrine.

Got Their Christmas Dinner. During the civil war there was a tacit understanding between both the Nationals and the Confederates that. the residence and the grounds of. George Washington should be undisturbed by either. The soldiers of each side made pilgrimages to Mount Vernon when in that vicinity without molestation from the other.

Although the warfare raged throughout Washington's state, that part of it occupied by himself during his life was not desecrated by march or battle. One spot in the United States was held sacred from the touch of war's passions and hates. At that shrine the visitors of 1861-65 were not Federals or Confederates, but were Americans. -Leslie's Weekly. Aged Veteran Passes Away.

Comrade Robert Thompson, said to be the oldest Grand Army man in the state of Illinois, died recently at St. Joseph's home, Peoria, at the advanced age of 102 years. Comrade Thompson was born in Ireland and came to this country when a lad. He enlisted in 1862 in Company Seventy-seventh Illinois Volunteers, and served throughout the war. He had lived for a number of years near Oak Hill, but spent the last two years of his life at St.

Joseph's Home, where the funeral services were held. The surviving members of the Seventy-seventh Illinois attended the funeral in a body to pay the last tribute of respect to the oldest Grand Army man in the state. CUPOLA SKETCHES Ay BYRON WILLIAMS Cuz: coW It is the petty, unlooked for things in life that annoy. A man may be walking along as happy and unconscious of evil as a new bride who has not yet shaken all the rice out of her black hair, when, lo, and behold! a brick will drop fourteen stories and hit him in the ear. He prepares to dress for a function of tea roses and curl papers, and can't find a white tie to save his standing in the community.

Then his collar button comes out and rolls under the dresser. He finally gets to the station and the guard on the elevated train won't open the door in time to let him aboard. Thirty minutes later he steps on a banana-peel and is "all in" as the street vocabulary has it. Now all these things are unimportant in themselves, but bunched they make a man grow old. He goeth forth in the morning elated and full of hope.

The wind catcheth his hat amidships and bloweth it careeningly down the street. He puffeth after it and is outdone. This reminds of "Ironquill" Ware's Kansas breeze: "Once a Kansas zephyr strayed Where a cross bull pup played, And the foolish canine bayed At the zephyr in a gay, Semi-idiotic way; Then the zephyr in about Half a jiffy took that pup, Turned him over, wrong side up, Then it turned him wrong side out; And it calmly journeyed hence With a barn and string of fence." Once we owned a daily paper. Those who have heard George Ade's "Peggy from Paris" will recall that "Heine played with Sousa oncejust once!" In this at least we were like Heine. A carrier boy is a small thing, a petty and a trivial circumstance, and yet he can do more to cause woe than even "Ironquill's" zephyr.

One night he forgot to carry his papers. In a moment of unguardedness we had allowed the town telephone man to place a hello-box in our happy home. On this occasion the phone rang--not once but several times. Then it pealed some more, and with a sad heart we skulked to the office, and in the darkness we delivered those papers. We, the editor and owner of a public thought moulder, the proud possessor of a three-story brick building, a gasoline engine and a shooting stick, delivering our own aristocratic thoughts at the door-sills of the constituency.

We humbled our pride and carried the edition, but there sunk deep into our heart a shaft that ever and anon pricks us to the realization that the little things of life are responsible for the gray hairs in our wife's head. 99 "Art thou the bird whom man loves best, The pious bird with the scarlet breast, Our little English robin?" There is a belief, more marked among the country folk than in the city's confines, that good luck comes to the one who first sees and hears a robin redbreast in the spring. The arrival of the adventurous bird is heralded proudly to the local paper by the fortunate discoverer. The editor, with thoughts aglow and seeing the green and budding earth in the approaching distance, does full merit to the local Christopher Columbus and his welcome find. Meanwhile others have heard these adventurous songsters from the southland and the annual dispute arises, the editor having, on more than one occasion, to contradict the glory misapplied to the alleged discoverer, undeniable proof having been furnished by a more previous Ponce de Leon.

Indeed, the coming of the robin in the last waning days of winter creates a sensation. The grown folks feel a quickening of the heart and pulse at the cheery cry of their feathered friend, the babies press their faces to the window-pane to see the winged messenger from a warmer clime, and during the chilling days that usually follow the advent of the first redbreast, all feel a touch of pity while "Poor robin sits and sings alone, When the showers of driving sleet, By the cold winds of winter blown, The cottage casement beat." When robin comes it is a sign, in the village, to begin holding town meetings for the advancement of the town. Here grave and fiery speeches are made and paper rails are laid for imaginary railways miles and miles in length. Then, before the stock is subscribed, wife begins to talk about new bonnets, new shirtwaists and new outfits for the children. The result is hard on the railroad.

The growing habit of using the piotures of great men to advertise whisky, rough-on-rats and pile remedies, needs stunting. So common has the habit grown that many of us are afraid to get famous lest we awaken some morning and find our profile or front view daubed on the bill boards or high aloft decorating a sign that tells of the wonderful qualities of Dinkleberries' Soft Soap. Now Addison in "The Tatler" says advertisements are of great use to the vulgar. You think of this and it makes you quaver in your resolve to be known among men. Aloft on a pedestal of hero worship, some ruthless manager of "Pale Pills for Pink People" will snipe your photograph, enlarge it and hire a left-handed fence artist to reproduce the masterpiece on pine boards next door to a saloon, where they sell "the largest glass of beer in the city for a nickel." Think of it! Fame is of course a mere bauble at best, but when it comes to having your face placarded as a sure cure for fits the bauble becomes a thorn in the fleshy part of one's pride.

At least, so thinks Ex-Senator David B. Hill, who has gone into the courts in an effort to save his face from being used as a whisky advertisement. And yet Mr. Hill's predicament is a Morris chair compared to the awful situation in which beautiful young women have now and then awakened after a bit in indiscreetness. About once in every woman's life she is possessed of a mad desire to have a picture taken that will show off her charms.

Some are more desirous of exhibiting the entire category of charms than others, but all have this malady as low down as a low-necked dress, anyhow. We have only to refer you to magazines to illustrate the extreme affection which often reminds of the woman who was described by the newspaper reporter as wearing a diamond brooch and a beautiful smile. At any rate, these pictures of women are fine business when it comes to advertising "Du France's corsets," "Willie Billy's face rouge," or "Hold-em-Up's stocking supporters." Something should be done, and that quickly, to remove this haunting fear from our midst 1 that those of us who can, may become famous without red light accompaniments. 999 The ordinary woman will scream in varied crescendoes when attacked by a tiny mouse, yet many a fair one wears a rat in her hair with unassumed confidence. To say a man has rats in his garret means he is a bit queer in his cerebral regions, and the expression should be used guardedly, especially if the man is inclined to be belligerent.

An instance is cited, however, of an individual in Missouri who had rats, not only in his garret, but in his cash drawer. The result was added wealth. It happened in this wise: The merchant was startled one morning upon opening a large drawer used as a money receptacle, to see a rat jump from the space and scurry away. Imagine his greater astonishment a moment later when he found three dollar bills which he could not account for as his property. Next morning he was amazed to discover a $5 bill and a $10 bill in the drawer when he had left no paper money there the night previous.

For several days his bank account was thus added to and at last the citizen concluded the rat was stealing money from some nearby store or bank, the rodent's ultimate intention being, no doubt to make a nest of the crisp currency. The merchant is still at a loss to know where his long-tailed friend secured the money, but he is zealously endeavoring to make a five years' contract with the active animal. 999 When the American hen begins a series of domestic duties in the glad spring time, the manufacturers of health foods are compelled to grow more strenuous in the pushing of their products. There is something about a nice fresh egg for breakfast that nothing can equal, unless it be another egg. Thus the cereals are pitted against a palatable foodstuff that has a determined hold on the average citizen.

To emphasize the value of the hen, a laying contest has been inaugurated in Australia, where Uncle Sam'shens (excuse the gender) will be pitted against hens from the antipodes. Some of the American hens that will take part in the eggproducing rivalry, have records of 240 eggs per year, enough to make President Eliot of Harvard, cry out for joy at their fecundity. The Australian government has offered to purchase the best layers at $25 per head, and if the American hen abroad behaves anything like she does when she sneaks under the barn to lay her eggs far from the curious eye of the housewife, she will never come back to America. The American hen sets a good example for American women, but if one is to believe President Roosevelt and the advocates of more babies, the example is little emulated. Here's hoping the star-spangled-banner-hen wins, anyhow-even if we do have to get along with pug dogs for babies at home,.