The Lincoln Republican from Lincoln, Kansas • 3

SNAKEROOT BUTS A C01T. NYE HUGGED BY A LADY. BY ROB. CAUSING HIM TO DAKT OFF LIKE FKIGHTENED DEEK. THE LONG AGO.

BX HUTETTE M. IOWATEB. When the rosy day is dying. And the night comes on a paces And the evening winds are sighing With a wild, enchanting grace, Oft before my memory's vinion Pass the forms I used to know-Faces dear and voices tender Of the Long Ago. Faces that the violets cover On a far and lonely tomb, Lips nnkisaed by friend or lover Bmile and speak from out the gloom.

But too soon the dream has faded. Like sweet music in its flow; They are gone the loved the cherished Of the Long Ago. Bock Elm. Wis. Ml that the English Are Friendly Toward Americans Good Work of the Shah and Jack the Kipper Victoria and Royal I lush.

A EI AH," eaid Mr. Snaker oot one morning at the breakfast table, "I've made up my mind to buy a cow." "Now, pa," be gan Mrs. Snake- Comes HEBE is 7Trf" Science knur Read in VS one ntr PA I III II I 1 I DAurL 8 ikin vv fctrVLI EVERY 430.000 Week a HOMES about visit astonishment and admiration ot the effete monarchies. Wilson Barrett goes to America in October. He will take a first-class company, and will no doubt continue the success he has had at home.

I met Mrs. Alice Shaw, the whistler, at a reception one afternoon, and for the first time heard her marvelous chest notes. My chest notes followed later on. She Is not only a whistler but a very artistic one, and when she "prepares to pucker" there is, in the audience, a silence which is noticeable. She has whistled for the Queen.

I told her I had also whistled for the Queen seven years ago, but she did not come. "I presume you were trying for a royal flush," said Mrs. Shaw. "I play poker myself." I met some celebrated steamship captains in London. Referring to steamship cap-fains or masters, must say here that it seems to me they are expected to do a good deal and die as soon as they can do no more.

A steamship captain is required to look out for the Interests of the company, the interests of the ship, the interests of the passengers, both spiritual and temporal, and while he risks his life every moment he is in the service, when he can no longer sail he may die in poverty or commit suicide, as he chooses, so far as the great world of traffic is concerned. This is manifestly unjust. So the average captain says: "The only safe thine for me is to make my i i 1 riiiix vinu in ing England. It is this: You are all the time fidgeting about how you can ever return the hospitality you receive and do it half as MY FIRST TIGER A National Family Paper Two Millions of Readers. The volume of Tub Companion for 1890 will be unsurpassed by any previous year in the variety of entertaining and instructive articles.

The full Announcement of Authors and Articles will be sent on application. 732 Feet well as it is ten- A Thrilling Adventure in Coehin China. head over heels on his ropes like a butterfly on a pin. And just above him a very pale faint curved line of white. It is the white horseshoe of the tiger's chest, and the inside of his forelegs, as he has turned for a moment in my direction.

Now or never. A last glance down the almost indistinguishable barrels, and I press the trigger. The blinding flash leaps out, the answering roar scares even the terrified pig into silence, and a blue veil of smoke, hiding everything, hangs before us. Mitt turned toward me with interrogation or reproach in hia eyes, and shook hia head doubtfully. For two minutes we sat and listened.

Then a long, hard-drawn breath, expelled in a painful, heavy sigh, came out of the bushes on our right. I never heard a sweeter sound in my life. It meant that the tiger wa3 hit so badly that he could not get away at once, and evidently hit somewhere about his lungs. Every two minutes for half an hour this sobbing sigh was audible. Then it ceased, but no matter.

If he was hurt a3 badly as that we should geSt him for certain. So I lighted my pipe and tried to wait patiently for daylight. It was so long in coming that I began to think the sun had overslept itself, but at last at 5 o'clock we climbed down and stretched our cramped limbs the coolie arrived at almost the same minute with the' pony, the two natives returned with their pole, and we started out to reconnoiter. First, as to the pig. Instead of being half eaten, as we supposed, he was all right except for five long scratches down one side, where the tiger had ev- dered to you.

While enjoying to Ten Serial Stories the entrance to the river ef Saigon, the French capital I Cochin China. fully illustrated, and among the most attractive ever published. 150 Short Stories Thrilling Adventures Sketches of Travel Health and Hygiene Biographical Sketches 1,003 Short Articles-Popular Science Natural History Outdoor Sports Anecdotes Etiquette Wit and Humor Poetry. the utmost the generous hospitality of London, and wishing that I could get twenty-six hours into d.iy, I could not help thinking how easily the matter of entertaining was attended to, while I would have to borrow dishes wa 1 forty miles from the citv. thfcrfi "SgSSjis a lonely telegraph 19.

UA. station, where the English cable from Hong Kong and Singapore, and the "FrinTi li 1 Illustrated Weekly Supplements "Were given with nearly every issue during the last year, and will be continued. They give an increase of nearlv one-half in the matter and illustrations, without any increaso in the price of the paper. 2S i touch root, wnat on earth "There you go," broke in Mr. S.

"I never try to do a thing but what you must oppose it. Here we are paying 5 cents per day for a quart of chalk andater of which I don't get a taste. Lj3nie see. Five cents for 365 days is is Great Scotf! $18.25 per year; most enough to buy the best Jersey in the country. A good cowll give 10 quarts per day.

We could sell five. That's 25 cents 365 times 25 is hum $91.25. Good Lord! Mrs. Snakeroot, don't say another word. Milk, butter, $91.25 per year.

I'll have a cow before night!" Five miles west of the village in which Mr. Snakeroot resided lived old Farmer celebrated far and near for the excellence of his breed of Jerseys. Farmer J. had cut his eye-teeth years ago, and sharp indeed must be the man who got the start of him. Our friend Snakeroot, after having searched unsuccessfully all the "morning, happened along just at noon at Farmer and was invited to put out and stay to dinner.

Only too willing, he hastened to put his horse in the barn, and with his son James accompanied the farmer to the house, where they did justice to an excellent dinner. After the latest news had been discussed, Mr. Snakeroot intimated that if he could find just such a cow as he wanted, he "wouldn't mind giving a good price for her." "Wall," said Farmer "I don't care about sellin' any, but let's go out 'n look at 'em." He adopted the precaution of taking along a faithful dog that had been trained to hold the female bo vines of the Snakeroot herd while they were being stripped of the lacteal fluid, with Eminent Contributors. Articles of great value and interest will be given in the volume for 1890 by Rt. Hon.

W. E. Gladstone, Hon. James C. Blaine, Justin McCarthy, M.

General Lord Wclseley, Senator Ceo. F. Hoar, Hon. John C. Carlisle, Sir Morel! Mackenzie, Prof.

John Tyndall, Dr. Wm. A. Hammond, Eugene Schuyler, C. A.

Stephens, Lt. Fred Schwatka, And One Hundred other well-known and favorite writers. THE BESUIT OF THE ELIXITt. Pour Double Holiday Humbers Are in preparation, and will be exceedingly attractive, filled with the special work of our favorite writers, and profusely illustrated. They are published at Thanksgiving Christmas New Year's Easter.

These Souvenir Numbers are Bent to Each Subscriber, and put two more leav in the dimng-table before I could begin to return the kindness or repay the debt. The children would have to eat at the second table and be kept out of sight during the meal so that they would not announce the menu advance. One of the dining chairs would have to be reglued. and the cigars I smoked would not do at all. You go into the Savage Club and eat and talk and smoke as vou would have gone into your mother's" pantry when a boy.

after you had been fishinar all There is no more lormality about it than there Used to be when you tore out the end of a loaf of bread and put jam on it to your heart's content, sucked your lingers and went to bed. It is great. And yet it is where you will meet men who think thoughts and say things which they thought of themselves. It is so everywhere. I am only worried as I say, about the way I will return these, various acts of kindness and courtesy.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. It takes so long to bathe the forks and spoons of one course so that they can give another number on the programme at our house, and I carve with so much danger to a republican form of government, that I hesitate about going extensively into the matter of entertaining in competition with Europe. I carve a good deal like the Shah. He had a complaint lodged against one of his soldiers once by a poor farmer of the Orient, who claimed that the soldier had stolen one of his reu-cored water-melons. "Very well," said his nibs, "I will ascertain if he stole your melon." So he pulled out his sword, and cutting a large aperture in the stomach of the offender, he Jound the melon and a few of the black seeds, which were easily identified.

"And how much are you out on the melon?" asked the haughty monarch, wiping his ready blade on his coat tail. "One iranc six," exclaimed the horny-handed Oriental buckwheater. "Very well," said the Shah, "here it is," and he took the amount from the pocket of the expiring soldier. "Justice is done. Allah be praised.

Eeturn again to your toil." The Shah is a great, coarse, horrid monarch, with an eye on the opposite sex and Feet $5,000 Prize Stories. Nearly Six Thousand Stories have been examined. The titles and authors of those which will receive Frizes cannot yet be announced, but the successful Stories will be published during the coming year. ii The Backward Boy, And How to Develop his Powers A series of articles bv the Presidents of three lea.dlat? TTniveral. The Girl That's Wanted.

Practical papers full of suggestions to girls, as to new occupations, and what Js best to do in life, by Marion Harland and Other well-known writers. tfn whlr.h will interest, hnv nnrl their nnrenta. VCvi The editorials give comprehensive views of important current events at home and abroad. The Children's Paso contains charming Stories, Pictures, Anecdotes, Rhymes and Puzzles, adapted to the youngest readers. JL last voyage." That is, to go down with the boat.

Think of that, you who have trusted your own lives and those of your families to these men. Think of it and talk of it until there is a pension or a provision for those who give their whole lives to their fellow-men. The Johnstown baby, whose name Is Moses Williams, came over on a recent trip of the City of Chicago, according to Surgeon Peter MeSweeney. The Johnstown baby was named Moses because he was found on the flood, not exactly among the bulrushes, but born on the bosom of the terrible deluge, while his mother's house was floating down to death and destruction. It is not necessary to say that Moses owned the ship.

He got about $75 from enthusiastic Americans on board and practically was monarch of all he surveyed. He was lucky to put off his birthday till the time of the terrible flood, for Pharaoh's daughter in the shape of American gene sity has rescued him from obscurity an'' poverty, and hereafter, when he says, "My name is Moses Williams, I was born on the breast of that terrible torrent in Johnstown," the ready wallet will come forth and Moses will be on deck, even if the light gooth out. Many curious experiments were made in Paris by Dr. Brown-Sequard, in the early stages of his elixir experience, according to the local physicians tnere. Most of these experiments were made on animals.

He was ereatly gratified. Into the foreleg of an old horse, that was so worthless on account of ace that in another dav he would have teen in the soup the mock-turtle soup of Paris he ejected his elixir. In an hour afterward, with bright red nostril and tail neatly draped over the dashboard, he sailed up the Shoriz Eleeza, knocking spokes out of valuable carriages all the way up to the Arc of Triumph, where he chipped out about five cents' worth of the corner of that great work, and piled up Dr. Brown-Sequard in a chaos of clothes and contusions. His first anxiety was to find out, of course, whether the hyphen had been knocked out of his name.

Finding that it had not, he returned to his experiments. He also secured an old doz with thick hearing and pronounced flagging of the mental powers. The dog was so old that he had forgotten everything, and so blind that a French soldier in red-gored trousers did not startle him any more. After a dose of the elixir he wagged his tail, a thing he had not done for years. Then he yawned and ate some grass.

He then noticed a cat on the lawn, one that had grown old with him. but had not had a nip of the elixir. He took after fcer and in two minutes he had her quivering remains on the grass. By 4 o'clock ho had gone back to puppyhood and had chewed up Dr. Brown-Soquard's white gaiters, a pair of lace curtains, and a child.

Bill Nye. Household Articles will ba published frequently, giving useful information in Art frgjVfe tSWKMii, HOLD FAST TO THAT TAIL, BOSE. WITH $1.75 THIS SLIP To (tny New Subscriber who will cut put and send us this slip, with name and Post Office address and SI. 75 for a year's subscription, we will send The Youth's Companion" FREE to 1, 1890, and for a full year from that date. This offer in-eludes the FCUK DOUBLE HOLIDAY NUMBERS, the ILLUSTRATED WEEKLY SUPPLEMENTS, and the ANNUAL PREMIUM LIST, witli COO Illustrations.

Send money by Post-Office Money Order, Check, or Registered Letter. 87 'fcSa ground. As I ain "much interested in telegraphy, and I liad a circular letter of introduction from Sir James Anderson, the managing director of the Eastern Extension Telegraph Company, I determined to pay these exiled electricians a visit. And then I learned that twelve years ago an operator had shot a tiger that had come on the veranda and looked in at the window while he was at work, and that three months ago another had been killed in a more orthodox way. So when the next steamer of the Messageries Maritimes picked up her pilot at 4 a.

off Cape St. James, I tumbled with my things into his loat and rowed ashore as the ship's sidelights disappeared in the distance and the lighthouse began to grow pale in the sunrise. Next morning an Annamite hunter who had been sent out by Mr. Lang-don, the Superintendent of the station, to look for tracks, returned and reported that he had and we were to make our first attempt that evening. At 5:30 that afternoon we started, Mitt (that wa3 his name or nickname) walking and running ahead, and I following him on a pony.

We. were on a small rising ground, dotted with bushes, in the middle of a rough tangle of forest and brushwood. I looked for the "mirador," and, not finding it, I yelled an inquiry into Mitt's ear (for he was stone deaf). He pointed to a tree fifty yards away, and I saw how marvelously he had concealed it. He had chosen two slim trees growing four feet apart; behind these ho had planted two bamboos at the other corners of the square, and then he had led two or three thickly leaved 'creepers from the ground, and wound them in and around and over a little platform and roof, till he had made a perfect nest of live foliage.

The floor was about twenty feet from the ground, and it looked perilously fragile to hold two men. But it was a masterpiece of hunting-craft. In response to a peculiar cry from Mitt, two natives appeared with a little black pig slung on a pole, yelling lustily. The "mirador" (or "mechan," as I believe it is called in India) overlooked a slight depression in which an oblong pond had been constructed for the buffaloes to wallow in, as the ugly brutes can not work unless they are allowed to soak themselves two or three times a day. By the side of this Master Piggy was securely fastened, neck and heels, to his infinite disgust.

Then the two natives took themselves off with their pole, Mitt gave me a "leg up" into the "mirador," which shook and swayed as we climbed gingerly in, and we arranged ourselves for our long watch. A soft cap instead of the big sun-helmet, the bottle of cold tea, and the flask put handy, half a dozen cartridges laid out, the rifle loaded and cocked. "The rest is silence." Till 10:80 we sat like two stone Buddhas. Then rive wild pigs came trotting down to the water to drink, which was an intensely welcome break in the monotony. At 11 :30 Mitt made signs to me to go to sleep for a while and he would watch.

At 12 :30 he woke me, and immediately fell back in his turn fast asleep. The rest, and the consciousness that I had no longer the sharp eyes of my companion to rely tipon, made me doubly attentive, and I watched every twig. Suddenly, in perfect silence and without the slightest warning, a big black object Hashed by the far side of the little pool. It was like the swoop past of an owl in the starlight, like the shadow of a passing bird, utterly noiseless and instantaneous. Every nerve in my body was a tin ill, every muscle THE YOUTH'S Boston, Mass.

THIS If i-MEf fW "Write ns nal work mm X.0 TUB GREAT Tramp: "Are you the feller wot's goin' over Niagara Falls in a Crank: "I am the experimenter you refer to. I am sure of success. You see I have made a study of this thing, and I have yon wish to do wit well machine. 71KilivelyeurM! liyfc I Iliv.nlilllnOillu I idently put out his paw and felt of him with a natural curiosity a 3 to what he was doing there. Just behind him were two deep footprints.

That was all. No blood, no tracks, and we looked cautiously round without seeing a sign. Fifty yards away there was a stretch of grass three feet high where he was very likely to be hidden. Where could the tiger be, anyway Mitt and I walked over to the edge of the grass and looked carefully all along it for tracks. That moment came very near being the last for one of us.

"While we were peering about the tiger suddenly sat up in the grass not ten feet from us, and, with a tremendous roar, sprang clean out into the open. He was so near that it was out of the question to shoot. If I had flung my rifle forward it would have fallen on him. I could see his white teeth distinctly and the red gap of his throat. I remember even at that moment wondering how he could possibly open his mouth so wide.

Mitt and I were, perhaps, ten yards apart, and the tiger leaped out midway between us. Instinctively the Annamite made a wild rush away on his side and I on mine. The tiger had evidently walked just far enough into the grass to be hidden and had then lain down. His presence there took us so Completely by surprise that we were helpless. I may as well confess that my state of mind at that moment was one of dreadful funk.

If the tiger had been slightly less wounded titan he was, it is perfectly certain that in another instant he would have killed one or the other of, us. We had not the remotest chance of escaping him by running But his first spring was evidently all he could manage, for he turned immediately and sneaked back into the cover. Mitt fired into the moving grass after him, in spite of my shouted protests, tearing a piece of skin off his flank, as we afterward discovered. We took five minutes to recover from our scare, and then, as the beast was practically helpless, we followed him through the grass. After a hundred yards, his growls brought us Up short again.

I sent Mitt up a tree, and he reported the sight of his head. So I beckoned him up myself, pulled up the rifle after me, and there I could distinctly see the tiger about seventy yards away, sitting on his haunches, with his back toward me. I aimed at his spine behind hf 3 shoulders, and when the bullet struck he simply got up and turned half round, giving me a splendid chance. My second bullet struck him in exactly the right place, and he made a grab with his mouth when it entered, then spun round three or four times, like a terrier chasing his tail, and fell in a heap. At this moment the three other men, who had not gone home after all, arrived on their ponies, so we walked carefully up to him in line.

There he lay, or rather she, for it was a fine tigress, a little under eight feet long, and very beautifully marked. TUey also relieve Dis fj fixed over an old whiskey barrel with TUBULAR WELL AND PROSPECTING MACHINE famous for snceeertinir where others have fulled. 11(1 ritUMPTLT. rligestionandTooHeartv Eating. A perfect remedy for Dizziness Nausea Drowsiness, Bad Tasti SELF CLEANING Tramp: "Eh? Whiskey barrel? If tho smell of the whiskey is still in it, I'd like ter go 'long as a passenger." The man who is always in his cups is sure to bring up in the jug sooner or lates ENTICING THE GUILELESS NYE.

OriU drop CO to DO Urn EITTLL IVER in the Mouth, Coated a minute CATALOGUE FREE Tongue. Pain in the Side. TOKPID LIVER. Thej regulate the Bowels. 100MIS HYMAH, TIFFIN, OHIO.

CHARLES SPURGEON, JR. Purely Vegetable. Price 25 Cents; a view of showing how gentle they were. After examining several animals and discussing their points, Mr. Snakeroot picked out a mild-eyed, undersized Jersey, and said "I'll give you fifty dollars for that animal." "I dunno," replied J.

"IH see what ma says." So back they went to the house, and after considerable discussion Snakeroot became the owner of a "genuine er-sey." They tied a rope around the cow's horns, hitched up their horse and started James driving the horse, and the old man, sitting on the hind end of the wagon, leading the cow. They had gone but a short distance when Snakeroot yelled out, "Whoa Whoa Young Snakeroot stopped the horse, turned around on the seat, and said "What's the matter, pa?" "Don't ask me what's the matter, you blockhead cried the old man. "I thought you knew how to drive a horse without pulling the arms "but before he could finish the cow came lunging into the hind end of the wagon. "Gimme the whip," he yelled. "Git out, you," making a savage cut at a yellow dog that was prancing around the cow.

Bythis time the Jersey concluded she had remained quiet long enough and commenced to back, dragging Snakeroot, frantically digging his heels into the earth in a vain effort to stop her. "Get out 'en the wagon, you," he called to his son "leggo the horse 'r come 'n twist 'er tail." After fifteen minutes' work they got the cow up to the wagon and again He Xs Delighted with His Visit to Amen ica. flATRIOOHIAL. CASTES MEDICINE NEW YOSK. Small Pill.

SmalfDose. Small Price. Preacher: "Ye generation of vipers." Umpire (waking up): "No back talk there $10." Speaking of grammar, it is a good rule aeverto let "Jack pot" be in the passed tense. The liquor question is an absorbing one. "Erics' the eve of his de-p a for England, at the request of the editor of the Chicago Inter Ocean, Charles Spurgeon, gave Big Package of Photos Alno full writ ten deiorlptfom (I nolo In retiilenaei) of retfoibU ladlM who want to oorreipoud for fun or matrituoor, ifnttti plain ichledenvat op for only lOcti, Many of our lad? tnemhera aro beautiful au4 wealthy Vive full desorltlun of yourMtirand a olcar lda of the ladlua with wliom Tnu winh tn Rnrreapnnd.

ArtlrM, 10CK OBAWEB 697. CHICAGO. ILL Many imitate, none equal, "Tansill's Punch" America's finest 5c Cigar. 1 his views on various 1 rm rum 1 topics of religious and general inter- NS HlAfffr THE BLUES SiiTH'S BILE BEfi a droop around the corners or tne mouth which ought to keep him out of respectable society for a good while. He has over two hundred wives, not counting a shipment recently made from London.

He and Jack the Kipper together have made the streets ol London quite safe for the unprotected man, and yet I blush to say that before 9 o'clock p. on the day of July. 1889, I was caught in the strong arms of an English lady of great descent and hugged considerably right in plain sight of Trafalgar Square. And yet we hear it said that the English are not friendly toward the Americans. It is not so.

A fair youn girl playfully undertook to pat me in a bantering way the other even-ins as I trudged gayiy home in the opaque gloaming. She struck a bunch of keys which I had in my pistol pocket and went sadly away wringing her hands. I felt sorry for her, but at the same time could not afford to stop and pity her, so I gave a piercing shriek and darted away like a frightened deer. Many of those girls stay out until a late hour at night, conversing freely with comparative strangers, thus giving the public ample opportunity to gossip about them and to misjudge their motives, A girl in London cannot be too careful about conversing with strangers that way. One of those pleasant and piquant maids admired my umbrella very much and taking it gently from me with a winning smile, spreading it and holding it over us, took my arm and trudged blithely along with me until I told her that here our ways seemed to diver and our paths fork, as it were.

Beluctantly I took the umbrella, and telling her to run along home before it rained I passed on toward my inn. London is too large a place for mo. I go out for a five minutes' walk and come heme st -est. J. would like to It is said that Thomas A.

Edison's hair is turning gray. An electric gray, wo suppose. Oregon, the Paradise of Farmers. TVTild, equable climate, certain and abundant crops. Bent fruit grain, grass and stock country in the world.

Full information free. Address the Oregon Immigration Board, Port and, Oregon. Use Peruvian Strengthening Elixir, The bestTonlela Existence, rir-nsatit to the taste, but not a beverann. Curea Htllunane, Srnfral Debllltv, Indigestion, Liver Com plaint. Fever sndAinr.tta, Ask your Drug.

mats for it. Manufactured by HcPlUli 1VX, ATCHISON. KAM. Acton the liver and bile; clear tho complexloni cure biliousness, sick headache, cosuvenesSr malaria and all liver and stomach disorders. We are now making1 small size Bile Beans, especially adapted for children and women-very small and easy to take.

Prioo of either size Zoo per bottle. A panolsizePHOTO-GRAVURE of tho above picture, "Kissing at 7-17-70," mailed on receipt of 2o stamp. Address the makersol tho great Anti-Bile Remedy "Bile Beans." J. F. SMITH St.

Louis, The dry goods clerk can go on a tear time he sells a yard of muslin. observe, he writes, that I have always been pleased with America. My reception here has been most generous and hearty. I have traveled considerable during my brief stay, and in the various families where I have stopped I have been treated with such kindness and have been received with so warm a welcome that for the time being I lost the faculty of being homesick. I have been particularly charmed with the beautiful scenery that I 'ifotm lo JR TO DiTB.ti If afflicted with sore eyes, use Dr.

Isaac Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it. 25c I prescrthe and folly dorsa Bl i a the only specific for the certain cure of this disease. O. H.IIIAHAM,M.D., Amsterdam, N.

Y. We nave aold Blr for many years, and It bae OTHERS 1X Ctatm.Kia Ohio. 111. FftfEND" S1.00. Sold by Urugsiitn, CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH PFftjUYRHYAL PILLS.

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O. Ho 10, Pa, NYE MAKES ADVANCES TO THE YOUNG MOSES. "twist 'ee tail!" Ely Cream Balm "WILL CVIU3 CHILDREN CATAltltU. RICHD. H.BAKER, MFO.

OPTIOIAN. If a woman hates you you may be sure she has loved you, loves you now or will love you. There is nothing (unless it be tho sewing machineVthat has lightened woman's labor as much as Dobbins' Electric Scap, constantly sold since 1864. All grocers have it. Have you made its acquaintance? Try it.

Blinks: "I read a most remarkable story the other day in an Arizona paper, the Tombstone Epitaph." Jinks: "Huh! Who ever heard of an epitaph tellin' the truth." A man with a boe in his bonnet should bo sure of a lively-hood. 1 Hansom's Sad Fate. Mrs. Gadd: "Oh, Mr. Shrill; stpp a moment.

I want to speak to you. Have you been home since morning?" Mr. Shrill: "No." Mrs. Gadd: "Heard anything?" Mr. Shrill: "Why no.

What can you mean?" Mrs. Gadd: "Oh, I can't be the first to tell it, indeed I can't. The neighbors are saying that your wife and Mr. Hansom has eloped." Mr. Shrill.

"Well well! It's his own fault. I warned him to keep away from her." lt Don't Pay to experiment. with uncertain remedies, when afflicted with any ot the ailments for which Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery is recommended, as it is so positively certain in its curative effects as to warrant its manufacturers in guaranteeing it to benefit or cure, or money paid for it is returned. It is ari anted to cure all blood, skin and scalp diseases, ealt-rheum, tetter, and all scrofulous sores and swellings, as well as consumption (which is scrofula of the lungs) if taken in time and given a fair trial.

HTILL LEADS. started. "See what you done with your fooling," said Snakeroot. "Don't a A a- I OF GOLD SPE0TAOLES, d.OU 1 0 0)0. INSTRUCTIONS NO TEST CARD wsiLto TO AMT ADOsrsa.

829 KAN8A8 AVENUE. TOPEKA, KANSAS. ye try it again." lney got along very i ipply Balm into each nostril. nostril. well for a mile, when all at once up in the air went the cow's head, and off the ELY EROS' 66 Warren RllPin DCMtTlV Will car Blood Poison wbare IViPblu Ullttj I neronry fall.

Ownadandfor a only by Cook HomeJy Omalia, Nob, Writ. wagon popped Snakeroot like a frog from a log. A PAY, aeentt wanted. Medicated Electricity curea cntnrrh, colds, Sam by mail 2io Cat. 1'reo.

Ji. IS. Brewster, llolly, Mich. I "WThat in he gasped as the rope slid through his hands. He had OP1U11 Eel Skins for Rheumatism.

A reporter the other day paid a visit to Billingsgate and made some inquiries. One of the largest eel dealers in the great Loudon fish market gave some interesting information on the subject. "Well," he said, "I know of numbers of cases in which they have been used with complete success. They are stretched on a board and dried then, to make them pliant, they are slightly moistened and tied around the suffering limb. They are worn as garters, ank-ets, bracelets and armlets.

They are even worn around the waist next to the skin, of course for lumbago and sciatica. Hundreds of London cabmen wear them and swear by them and I have a number of gentlemen customers in the country who ask me to send them eel skins to give away to the poor people of their districts. who have once worn them will never do without them if they can help it. But I can not tell you what medicinal property they possess perhaps after all it is only warmth, for of course they mnst form an almost airtight bandage, like a piece of guttapercha or gold-beater's skin. Perhaps it is only fancy, and that goes a very long way, as you probably know.

Why, I have heard that a skein of silk tied round the waist will cure lumbago, or round the knee will cure rheumatism in the leg. Now, what earthly medicinal property can there be in a skein of silk? Of course the skins are generally considered as refuse or offal, and are consequently thrown away." Pall Mall Gazette. should and may know how child hearlrit, fc ''7 1 9" i can lie effected without Fain or Uaiurcr. fc'if I UW Informatmnsent seoled: A WoiroraTOt Discovehy! DR. J.

H. DYE, Buffalo. and easy cure. Dr. J.

I Stephens. Lebanon, Ohio. no chance tor further comments. Mak have seen. Of course I have been to Niagara Falls, and of course I cannot add anything to what has been said in the way of enthusiastic pi'aise of that great natural wonder.

Niagara is sui generis; it is proper that the Americans should be proud of this great feature of their country's natural beauty. But I have received equal pleasure from my visit to the Yosemite Valley and the "Yellowstone National Park. I think they deserve a prominent place in the long catalogue of fine scenery of which your country can boast. I have found the Baptist Church here in a very successful condition the people are full of enthusiasm and, among the various Protestant denominations, the Baptists are without doubt the most aggressive and enterprising in church work. The churches of the United States are certainly much better appointed than they are in England.

Our edifices can not be compared ir architectural beauty to yours. The interior of the American church is in striking contrast to the London Baptist churches. You make your buildings more comfortable, more home-like, in many cases more luxurious. It is sometimes thought that churches can be made too luxurious, but I have seen no reason for criticism on that ground in what I have seen since I have been here. Your decorations are more lavish than ours the cushioned pews and the carpeted aisles give a furnished and home-like appearance which is distinctly different from our churches.

The best floor covering we would have would probably be linoleum or cocoanut matting, never any bright-colored carpets. Our churchgoers, if they want carpet, are allowed, at their own expense, to put a little strip in their pew. The electric bells which communicate from the pulpit to the sexton telling him how to regulate the heat, the ventilation; strike a foreign clergyman with surprise; this system must be a great convenience to the preacher, it is characteristically American. Your Sunday-schools are much finer than ours. I do not think that they are any larger, but your Sunday-school rooms are bright, cheerful places, with carpets on th floors, pictures on the walls, and well furnished and conven ient seats.

CASTOR BEAMS WANTED. Ad-dr fie MARSH OIL Kansai City, Mo. ing a lunge he caught the cow by the tail and down the road the pair went the cow on a canter and he on a keen run. She made straight for a barn Hf TJl tS ITUDT. Book-keeplnK.

PenrDanshlB, KM It i Arithmetic, Shorthand, thoroughly taneht. by mail. Low rates. Ciroulara rea. BliYANT'S COl.LKU 411 Main bt Buffalo.

N. MITT. WFHIearn Telegraphy and Railroad I UUSaSl IntiB Agent's Business here, and secure eood situations. Write J. J.

BROWN. Fedalla. Mo. yard fence, cleared it like a deer, dragging the unfortunate Snakeroot after 823-14 K. N.

TJ. T. her. TICKWEED TABLETS I StSffl 11.00 (aled) and ptnpl.l ronuinin; UTif of pMWH imor1 Mca to wemtn. CHICAGO 3 U-MHANT.

CHICAGO. ILL. "JkVhf-n answering any of these advertisements, mention this inrm Another struggle ensued with the thoroughly aroused cow, and finally she was gotten upon the highway by the "1 "DISCS REMEDY FOR CATARRIT. Best. Easiest 1 I i i.

T.l: i a I A euro it to use. neapesi. i.eiiei is miiucuiaui a certain. For Cold in the Head it has no equal. united efforts of three men.

And so it was all those four long, weary miles mjait agfc" 3BB Don't hawk, hawk, blow, spit, and disgust everybody with your offensive breath, but use Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy and end it. home. Arriving finally at his place in town, the cow refused to enter the alleywav. In desperation he hitched the horse to the rope and "snaked" her furiously down the alley into the back yard, when he chained her down to two cherry to the nostrils.

Price, 50o. Sold by druc'crists or sent by mail. Address, E. T. IIazeliise, Warren, l'a.

Charming widow: "And what are you doing He: "Oh, amusing myself nnd looking out for number one. And you?" Charming widow: "Looking out for number two." trees for the night. Mr. Snakeroot arose late" the next morning, took a twelve-quart pail and late at night, hopelessly lost in the labyrinth ef her streets. The cabman is my salvation.

I go out and get lost purposely, so that I can surprise myself at one and six by getting back in two minutes. I would not (Jo London on the guide-book plan, or by programme, but by strollinsr about, studying peoplo more than places and getting into the usual number of scrapes. I saw the House of Commons in session for tjje first time and listened to several eminent gentlemen who spoke fer-ninst the royal grants. I can do it myself now. It is quite easy.

Y'ou say something and then look up and say "ah" until you can think of something else to say. Other gentlemen with their hats on sit around and slumber, but spectators are not allowed to wear their hats. Only members can wear their hats and snore above a certain key. Mr. Gladstone, better known as the grand old man, sat on the front seat.

He is very bald, indeed, and his throat whiskers are very white. He is much smaller than I had thought. He wears low shoes and red woolen socks. When he works down so as to sit on his shoulder-blades his trousers gradually ascend his limbs until you can look over the tops of his cute little red socks with perfect impunity. He is the author of his own thoughts, and I hear him spoken of In high terms, especially by his friends.

Mr. T. P. O'Connor has our thanks for courtesies extended while in London. He will never lack a Iriend if he will at any time write to box 204, Tompkinsville, Staten Island, U.

S. A. Mr. Bobert Lincoln's last reception was brightened up briefly by a pleasant call from me. Many Americans were present and drank the tea of the Minister as administered by his bright young daughter.

Without wishing to express political opinion in any way, I must say that the general sentiment of the American contingent is that both in franco and England we need not be ashamed of our Ministers or our Consuls General. Mr. Eeid and General Bathbone seem to be beautiiully hol.iingup their corner of the national abric in Paris, and Mr. Lincoln and Giceral John C. Kew are doing the proper thing in London.

General Kew says that I have ruined reputation in the old world by referring to him ns a poker player, and so I hereby apologize. He is not a poker player. He plays bean-bag. however, with great skill, end lawn tennis in a. way that arouses the went proudly forth to milk his Jersey, After being gone a long time he re stiff with excitement.

Slowly I put out my left hand and grasped my sleeping companion hard by the leg. If he made the slightest noise we were lost. Like a trained hunter he awoke and lifted himself into a sitting position without a sound. Rifle to shoulder we peeped through our peep-holes. A moment later a blood-curdling scream broke the stillness, followed by yell after yell of utter terror.

It was the wretched pig who had woke to find himself in the clutches of the tiger, and the effect on nerves strained in silence to their utmost tension was electrical. I shall never forget that moment. The tiger was there before me, he had the pig in his grasp, in another second he would probably be gone. "And I could see nothing, absolutely nothing. It was pitch dark in the depression where he was standing, and I might as well have tired with my eyes shut.

Stare as I would, I could not distinguish the least thing at which to aim. And all the time the pig was yelling loud enough to wake the dead. Suddenly I saw the same black 'shadow pass up the little incline for a dozen yards." The pig's screams dropped into a long howl. My heart sank. Had the tiger gone No, for an instant afterward the shadow shot down the slope again and the yells broke out afresh.

The situation was agonizing. I could hardly resist the temptation to fire both barrels at random into the darkness. Do I see something Yes, the black mass of the pig, spinnhig turned to the kitchen and poured the milk into a. teacup, and said: "Of all the dod-gasted old liars in When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria, When she wm a Child, she cried for Castoria, When she became Mies, she clang to Castoria, When she had Children, she gave them Castoria. the countrv, that J.

is the worst. "Why, what did he say?" asked Mrs. S. Snakeroot thoughtfully scratched his head for a moment, and then said The Great Raiser of spots and dirt is PEARL-INE. Try it on the spot it is as cheap as dirt.

It makes house-work easy and your washing light You could do no harm with it if you tried. It refines the finest things; makes them like new; and cleans quickly the coarsest It is ready to help you if you are ready to have it. tricksters these ped- CL JL dlers selling powders of which they say "same es Pearline" "good as Pearline." Keep a keen edge on your wits against such. PEARLINE has no equal. isj JAUES PYLS.

New Yerkv "He tol' me she'd give all I could Xot an Ange1, Quite. De Wrigg I don't want to say anything to hurt your feelings, Arthur, but I heard something about Miss Pureetie last night that you ought to hear. She chews gum. De Prigg My my Oh, what frauds women are And to think I was on the verge of marrying that girl What an escape I shall break my engagement at once. "To-night?" "Urn no, not to-night.

I promised to go on a spree with Kednose to-night." New York Weekly. Wife (at the opera) Mr. Blueyes, the tenor, didn't do that love scene well at all. Wonder if he's sick Husband Perhaps he is. The prima donna sat at the table next to ours at the hotel, and I noticed that she ate nine raw onions.

milk." "Well, I declare," replied his wife, "you orter have a guardeen app'inted over you. Ted: "I suppose tho best way to find out rhether she loves me is to go right up and ask her." Ned: "Sot at all my boy, you had better ask one of her girl friends. An Eye to Business. A couple of burglars had just ransacked a lawyer's house. The legal light was aroused by the midnight marauders, and just as they were about to leave his room he handed them a pasteboard.

"My card," he said. "If you are caught by the police you may want counsel." Judge. How can short felt for hats supply a long felt want? "Daelixg," he said, "your eyes are as bright as diamonds, your teeth as white as pearls, your lips as red as rubies, and and les, George, she replied sweetly, "and you're as green F. J. CHENEY Toledo, of Hall's Catanh Cure, offer $100 reward for any case of catarrh that cannot be cured by taking Hall's Catarrh Cure.

Snd for testi- as an emerald." Then George went out into the jet-black night. tree, boia Dy uruggista, too..