Skip to main content
The largest online newspaper archiveArchive Home
Kansas City Daily Tribune from Kansas City, Kansas • 1

Kansas City Daily Tribune from Kansas City, Kansas • 1

Kansas City, Kansas
Issue Date:
Extracted Article Text (OCR)


26a THE JOKER'S CORNER. IN THE ODD CORNER. Same Old Btory. The bank president was seatei in his brush in hand these eight days," said the wondering emperor. RELIGIOUS CORNER.

pomfortable office with, a very uncom "True, sire," said the artist, "but WIT, HUMOR AND SATIRE ORIG SOME QUEER AND CURIOUS FEATURES OF LIFE. fortable look upon his face. A knock at the door and there entered a prosperous-looking gentleman, one of the nevertheless the picture has grown. The work of the brush Is the least to be done in producing a painting. The AND REFORM ALU OVER THE WORLD.

INAL AND SELECTED. bank's heaviest depositors, He took last week I have been away from the studio it Is true, but wherever I went a seat and said: Light In the Darkness Fat's View of It shorter and they are closely watching for new developments, although they expect it to begin to grow the other way in ft short time. The calf, which Is considered quite a curiosity, 1b owned by John Hoosey, a hotel-keeper of North Cramer Hill, who also owns its mother. The cow which gave birth to the freak is a dwarf, but is perfectly healthy. When fresh the cow gives from sixteen to eighteen quarts of milk per day, but some difficulty is experienced in milking her.

Owing to its legs being so short, it Is necessary to dig a hole to place the milk bucket In and the attendant Is required to get down on his knees to milk "There la some one connected The Stings In Little Things Mexico's Jumping Beans Camden's Freak Calf Wanted a Trout, but. Got an Otter A Wise Canine. that picture has been in my mind, and slowly, steadily I have been getting in Tact and Taste Responsible for Belief The Smile of Ureetlng Mere Word. Tbe Trogre.s of Christian VSadeavor. An Cp-to-Date Appetite Things Were All Right The Same Old Story.

this bank whom I have not seen some time. To save my soul I cannot place him." place the figures to be put upon the canvas. The picture, sire, will be done It is Mr. Jones, the cashier, whom at the stated time." you refer to," replied the president. And it was.

And this picture is to ID we think of the light and Bun-shlne, Of the blessings IE) "Correct. What has become of day regarded as the grandest work of him?" the famous painter. "I believe he has gone to Canada." "For a change of scene, most likely. left us still, When we sit and ponder darkly. 5 Art hllndlv o'er Nil mm Mpi fn wrV CALL him strong who stands unmoved Calm of some rock When some great trouble hurls its shock; We say of him his strength is proved: Introspection.

It is wel to frequently enter Into I suppose he has left the bank for we could know! Which of us, darling, would be first to go, Who would be first to breast the swelling tide, And step alone upon the other side If we could know. good?" Judgment with ourselves. Not in any 'We haven't got through looking over his book3 as yet," replied the bank morbid, self-righteous spirit, but with an honest desire to ascertain how far or in what measure we have attained life's ill, How should we dispel the shadows Of still and deep despair, our own ideals. It would be of almost president, wearily, "but from the way things appear at present I suspect he has taken the bank with him," and he sadly gazed about the office to see it Infinite advantage to the average Christian did he begin the day with a clear, And lessen tne weight ot anguish But when the. spent storm folds its How bears he then life's little things? Which every heart must bear any of the furniture was missing New York Journal.

The clouds may rest on the present, About his brow we twine our wreath definite idea of what he intended to bring to pass for God and His church that day, and to close it by faithfully asking his heart how far he had succeeded. We should resolve to let no And sorrow on days that are gone, Very Simple. Husband How is that; whether I But no night is so utterly cheerless Who seeks the battle's thicKesi smoke, Braves flashlne eun and sabre-stroke, That we may not look for the dawn; give you much or little, you always seem to get along all the same? And there is no human being And scofs at danger, laughs at death; With so wholly dark a lot, Wife That's very simple. When you Dog Deserved the Prize. The latest dog story comes from North Wales.

Every year there is a competition at Carnarvon, in which a prize is offered for the most intelligent sheep dog. A sheep fold Is erected with a very narrow entrance and each dog is given three sheep, which he must get into the fold, the prize going to the do? which does his task In the shortest time. There is one. dog who won the prize year after year, but at a recent competition he was so severely handicapped by the refractory nature of his three sheep that he lost the prize. He managed to get two of the three into the pen, but the third set him at defiance, and even turned upon him and tried to butt him.

Then the wonderful intelligence of the dog showed itself. He placed himself between the sheep and the pen and at every rush of the sheep he backed nearer and nearer to the entrance, so enticing the sheep forward until at last the dog actually allowed himself to be butted right into the pen. The sheep followed him in, and as he did so the dog sprang over his back and stood triumphantly in the entrance to prevent his re-exit. day pass in which we did not make ourselves better, and in order to do that we must find out first what we are now. This kind of introspection would inevitably drive us closer to our divine Lord, and from that would But the heart, by turning the picture, give me much I use the surplus to pay We praise him till the whole lanu rings; But is he brave in little things? May find some sunny spot: the debts I make when you give me little.

Fllegende Blaetter. For, as In days of winter, We call him great who does some deed come inexpressible sweetness and abid When the snowdrifts whiten the hill, ing strength. Illegal. The Court What is your age, Some birds in the air will flutter, That echo bears from shore to shore Does that, and then does nothing more: And warble, to cheer us still: madam? Responsible for Belief. God holds every man responsible for So, if we would hark to the music, If it were you, Should I walk softly, keeping death in view? Should I my love to you more oft express? Or should I grieve you, darling, any less If it were you? If it were Should I improve the moments slipping by? Should I more closely follow God's great plan? Be filled with a sweeter charity to man If it were i If we could know! We can not, darling, and 'tis better so.

I should forget, just as I do to-day, And walk along the same old stumbling way If I could know. I would not know Which of us, darling, will be first to go. only wish the space may not be long Between the parting and the greeting song; But when, or where, or how, we're called to go I would not know. his belief. This position can be sup Some hope with a starry wing, Yet would his work earn richer meed, The Plclntiff Must I answer? The Court You must.

The Plaintiff Why, Judge, I didn't ported by analogy, by the recognized In the days of our darkest sorrow, authority of human law and by revela Will sit in the heart and sing. When brought before the King of kings, Were he but great in little things. think people had to testify against tion. If a man believes a fictitious themselves. Green Bag.

Things Were All Right. scheme to be solid and good, and Invests his money in It, his belief in the hollow pretense will not prevent the We closely guard our garden gates I was sitting with a North Carolina Handy About the House. Lucie How could you bring yourself to marry such a useless piece of furni loss of his money when the bubble When great temptations loudly knock, Draw every bolt, clinch every lock, mountaineer on his doorstep after supper when a young man ot 20 came along on a mule and halted to exchange salutations. ture as a French count? And sternly fold our bars and gates; bursts. Your belief that fire is not hot will not prevent you from being burned should you thrust your hand into the flame.

Your opinion that a man may Marie Well, you' see, when poor "Say, Joe," called out my host, "how's Yet some small door wide open swings At the sly touch of little things. times down yo'r way?" papa comes home from Wall street tired -and irritable, he likes to have something easy to sit on. New York Journal, live without food would not prevent "Purty far, Mr. Gabbitt purty fa'r. your starving should you resolve upon a perpetual fast.

The law is univer A fisherman's Luck. Al Burten was fishing through the ice on Indian river in the Adlrondacks a few days ago, using three-inch clubs for bait, when he felt a bite that betokened a salmon trout of fifteen pounds' weight sure. What was more, the fish was hooked, as the strain was continuous. Burton had about all he could do to keep the line from being pulled out of his bands for two or three minutes. Then the struggles began to replied Joe.

"Yo know Dan Copper-field and Tom Bailey? Wall, Dan I can forgive 'tis worth my while An Cp-to-Date Appetite, sal. In the very nature of things It popped Tom over t'other day. Yes, cannot be otherwise. The treacherous blow, the cruel thrust; Can bless my foe, as Christians must, times ar' purty fa'r." "And how's the llcker question?" "Purty fa'r Mr. Gabblt purty fa'r, While patience smiles ier royal smile; The Grandest Conception.

Those who claim the Fatherhood ol Yo' know Bill Wheedon and ole man Bishop? Wall, they got to dlsputin' God, but fall or refuse to recognize grow weaker all of a sudden, and in a way that made Burton wonder what the their own childhood, miss the grandest 'bout the llcker question and the ole man he stabbed Bill to death. Yes, the Yet fierce resentment quickly slings. Its shots of ire at little things. And I can tread beneath my feet The hills of passion's heaving sea, When wind-tossed waves roll storm- iiy; Tact and Taste. Growing boys and girls who have arrived at a particularly conscious age, often complain that companions of theirs are better liked than themselves, although they know, In their heart of hearts, that these other boys and girls conception of human life.

They even llcker question is purty fa'r." miss tbe best of the "Brotherhood of "Much doln' in politicks down Man," because they miss the divine in matter was. It took some time to pull in the forty yards of chalk line which the supposed fish had taken out, and by the time three-fourths of it was in the struggling had become mere continued the mountaineer, as he grew man. They miss, too, the most beau Yet scarce resist the siren sweet are not as really deserving that is, are more Interested. tiful conception of God, earnestly, lovingly watching over His children, even That at my heart's door softly sings, "Yes, a leetle, Mr. Gabbitt Jess a not possessed of as many virtues as they themselves constantly practice.

Now is the time for such young peo tremors. When Burton got the hook in sight he found out the reason. Instead of a salmon trout he had hooked leetle. Yo' know Dave Williams and Sam Gunn? Wall, they got to goln it on politicks and Dave shoots Sam ple to learn that to be sought after one must have good manners as well as a a full-grown otter with a pelt worth 8 if it was worth a cent. The otter had made a right good fight while its those who forget If he gives a peculiar blessing to those who as children obey and trust him, it is from no partiality, but simply because their love meets His, completes it, and the united love makes the perfect ideal of the one family in Him.

through the body. Yes, suthin' doln' In politicks Jess 'nuff to keep the good heart, taste and tact as well as "Forget, forget life's little things." But what is this? Drops make the sea; And petty cares and small events Small causes and small consequents, Make up the sum for you and me; Then, oh, for strength to meet the sting That arm tbe points of little things. Selected. virtue. You may think his is rather water hot." breath lasted, but it quickly drowned, Mrs.

Handout What's the matter? I gave you a nice dinner of roast goose in the kitchen. P. Ticular Walker Yes, mum, but I can't eat roast goose wldout apple hard, but stop a moment to consider: "That's right. Got any religun down Why don't you choose that girl for 8 The Skipper Was a Rat. thar', Joe?" "A purty considerable lot." sauce, mum, The London Field tells this story: A The Smile of Why do we not always smile when rat was -caught alive on board a Brit friend? She tells the truth and is very unselfish.

But you remember that she is also fond of reminding you if your hat is crooked or your gown is unbecoming. You don't for her society, although she is "a good ish naval vessel in a trap, and the ever we meet the eye of a fellow-being? That is the true recognition which beast was thrown from the trap into ought to pass from soul to soul con' the water without being killed. A large gull that was following in the stantly. Little children, in simple wake of the ship to pick up scraps of girl." Then there is that boy he is generous and obliging, but he loves to talk about himself and his own affairs. The Other Kind.

Justine Is It true that Ethel's French marquis touched her father for money within a week after their marriage? Conny Yes, so I hear. Justine Did he get a check? Conny Yes, and a rather severe one. The old gent made an assignment the day before. New York Journal. communities, do this Involuntarily, un-consciously.

The honest-hearted Ger man peasant does it. It is like magi food thrown overboard by the steward and never takes any interest in what stopped several times, endeavoring to pick the rat up. Once the bird got too "And how might religion be?" "Purty lively, Mr. Gabbitt purty lively considerln' the drought and the 'tater bugs. Yo' know Si Tompkins and Abraham Skinner? Wall, they got to talkln' religun t'other day and Si allowed that Abraham lied and Abraham allowed that Si was a fule, and they cut each other with knives in a right smart way.

Yes, purty lively. Mr. Gabbitt Jess lively 'nuff to carry us through to cool weather and hev sunthin' to talk about. I allow to consider, Mr. Gabbitt I allow to consider that things down our way ar' movln' along purty fa'rish, and that we hadn't got no cause to complain," you are doing.

You wouldn't care for cal sunlight all through that simple land, the perpetual greeting on the right hand and the left between strang him, in spite of his fine qualities, for an intimate friend. ers as they pass by each other, never without a smile. Helen Hunt. close to the rat's Jaws and the beast grabbed it by the neck. After a short fight the rat succeeded in killing the bird.

When the gull was dead the rat scrambled upon the bird's body, and, hoisting one wing as a sail and using the other as a rudder, succeeded in steering for the shore. Whether the rat reached shore or not is a question, Doing for Others. It is well to learn the lesson young for we must learn it at some time or other that the people we shall be thrown among through life will ask yet more of us than that we keep the ten commandments. If they are the sort of people whom we ought to know Doing nothing for others Is the un Very Swell. "That was a mighty swell ball last night," said one man who was there to another who wasn't.

"It must have been," was the reply. "Onr firm rented twenty-seven dress suits for the affair." PJttsburg Chronicle Telegraph. doing of one's self. We must be purposely kind and generous, or miss the best part of existence. The heart that goes out of itself gets large and full since the ship soon got out of sight of Mexico's Jumping- Beans.

Every few years somebody In Mexico collects a lot of the seeds known as "Jumping beans" and sends them north for the mystification, edification or amusement, as the case may be, of people to whom these eccentric combinations of animal and vegetable life are not familiar. A consignment of the seeds reached London recently, and they have attracted considerable attention. Conrad Cooke, the electrician, made a careful study of them, and one of his discoveries is interesting. The "beans" (they grow on a 'species of euphorblum) seem able when laid on a flat surface to travel horizontally in a given direction, but when suspended in the air they are absolutely devoid of lateral movement. A bean hung by a fiber will Jump sometimes half an Inch will never acquire a pendulum movement.

Similarly a bean mounted at the end of a quill and fitted with a mirror, like a galvanometer needle, will cause a spot of light 'to move np and down a vertical scale, but never oft it. The reason for this is difficult to seek. Themovements are caused by the convulsive action of a grub, which chooses this seed for its habitat. As no means of Ingress Is perceptible, it has been supposed that the egg is laid in the flower and be the skipper and its craft. A Moth a Foot Wide.

of Joy. Christian Endeavor Notes. they will expect us to do right, but ithey want still more than that of us, rather, they want that carried out 'to its Inner meaning. Tact and taste iare needed in social life, as well as the Enforcement of the golden rule. But, tact and taste are the further carrying out of the golden It Why It War Acceptable; "Ah!" said Henry Peck; "you sermon on heaven pleased me mightily." "I'm so glad, responded the minister.

"Yes, it was fine, especially that passage where you described it a place in which there is no marrying or giving in marriage." Philadelphia1 North1 American. Fifty Endeavorers, most of them from widely separated parts of Amerl For a second time the Denton collection of butterflies and moths is on exhibition in New York. Last year this collection attracted much attention, and this year it returns nearly doubled in Unanswerable. 1 Pat I tell you the ould frlnds are always the best, after all, and I can prove it. Dennis How? Pat Where'U you find a new frlnd that has sthood by you as long as the ould ones have? Cleveland Leader.

because young folks sometimes over size, and including lepidoptera from all ca and Canada, were present at a Christian Endeavor reception given by Dr. and Mrs. Clark in Berlin a few weeks ago. A society is to be formed in the American Church at Berlin, and another is already in operation in the look these facts that they need to be reminded that good hearts are not visi parts of the world. In order to obtain Fat's View of It.

some of these specimens the collectors ble to the world, as are uncouth man braved the dangers of exploration in islands infected by cannibals and iners, careless speech, and unpleaslng habits. Therefore, these all count in American and British Church at Leip- slc. i the impression one makes, and one threaded the jungles of India. One of the notable new specimens is the owl moth of Brazil, which measures more must be on guard that the impression Willing to Help Him. "I would that I were a bird!" he sang.

The landlady nodded her head. "Perhaps I can help you attain that form, By presenting your bill," she said. Tid Bits. The old people of a congregation in Tecumseh, were given a reception one afternoon not long ago by the Christian Endeavorers of the shall be agreeable. "Manners make jthe man" is not wholly true, but it has than a foot from wing tip to wing tin, Unlike the collections of last year, this comes incorporated with the seed.

After some truth in it, too. church. Infirm guests were taken to collection is not for sale piecemeal. If emergence and passing into the cocoon state, the grub develops Into a moth I the meeting in carriages and a de ft is not sold during the exhibition, How to Work. similar to the codling moth, whose which will last three weeks, Mr.

Den lignum social mat warmed tne nearts of all present was provided for the old ton will take It to London and ex grub is so destructive to apples. folks. hibit it there. There are about 1,300 specimens, exclusive of duplicates. No Wonder.

"I hear, Rustly, that you sat in a game' at Cripple Creek and had four aces beaten. What did the other fellow hold?" "A bobtail flush and a six-shooter." Detroit Free Press. The influence of Christian Endeavor conventions never adjourns. There Pat Well, phy th divil don't ye take thot t'ing off th' ice if it's dangerous? Electric Railways In Ettrope. has Just been reported from Chicago band of fifteen Endeavorers, who; as a Camden's Freak- Calf.

A remarkable freak of nature is- being treated at Dr. William B. E. Miller's veterinary hospital, Camden, N. J.

It is a diminutive calf, measuring less than eighteen inches in height. The most remarkable thing about the animal is that IV is not as tall now by two result of the Washington convention, meet weekly for Bible study and prep aration for evangelistic work, and after There are now 660 miles of electric roads in Europe, an' increase of 125 miles during the the number of cars has increased from 1236 to 1747. Germany leads With 250 miles ot track and 875 cars, then comes France with 82 miles and 225 cars. Great Britain with 65 miles and 108 cars, and the meeting take entire charge for the evening of the services In a rescue mis A writer in the Young Churchman itells a Btory about the great painter, da Vinci, who was once employed by the emperor to produce a picture, which was to be finished by a certain time. After working for some time at his task, however, the artist absented himself from his studio for a week or more, doing apparently nothing towards completing the picture.

The emperor hearing of this sent a jcourtler to remonstrate with the painter, and, when the latter did not heed Jthe remonstrance, commanded him to come into the royal presence. "Why have you neglected the painting of the picture we have ordered, and which it Is urgent shall be soon finished?" was the question sternly put to the arlat. i "I have not neglected it, sire," was She answer. "But we know that you have not had A Clingstone. He As our engagement is canceled, of course you will return that diamond ring? She Mr.

Styles, you said I was a peach the dar when you gave me this ring. Well, if I am, I am a peach of the clingstone variety. Therefore I'll keep the diamond. Boston Transcript inches as it was two months ago, when it was only 5 months old. The calf's sion.

What one company of children can do is well illustrated by the eleven head, neck and chest are' perfectly but it has a large hump between its front shoulders, an unknown Anstro-Hungary with 45 miles and 157 cars; Russia has one line' with six Hardly Fair. It will cost over 17,000,000 for the red-skinned wards of the government next year and yet not a dollar will go to the Carlisle Indians for the expense ot their baseball team. is this thus? Boston Globe. Natural Conclusion. First Passenger Oh, yes, I know these southern railroads Very well.

I've been riding on this line all my life. Second Passenger That so? You must have got on a little sooner than I growth among domestic cattle. It is months' work of the Juniors of the Mt. Morris Baptist Church, New York city. They have sent a library of one hundred and fourteen volumes to a western Sunday school, have colleoted miles of track and 32' motor cars.

Of the 111 European lines, 91 are worked by the overhead trolley system; 3, one each In Germany, Great Britain and being treated by Dr. Miller for gastric troubles, but Its conditionals not serious and it promises to grow strong and Tipping the Walter. Distinguished Pugilist (warningly) I give yer dls tip, Cully, dat if I can't get dat steak dat I ordered rare Inside o' five minutes I knows a waiter dat I'll eat raw! Texas Sittings. Hungary, by tn undergruuad current 13,620 cancelled stamps and have made 9 by an Insulated central rail, aHd'8 by healthy. Dr.

Miller and other veterinarians who have examined tha calt are unable to account for its growing other benevolent and missionary gifts storage batteries. to the amount of one hundred s'oH'arS;.

Get access to

  • The largest online newspaper archive
  • 300+ newspapers from the 1700's - 2000's
  • Millions of additional pages added every month

About Kansas City Daily Tribune Archive

Pages Available:
Years Available: